Oh what have I done??? (Joplin, Rolla: employment, YMCA, school)

[20yrsinBranson]

Originally Posted by Nexxie

Oh my, what have I done....I moved to Hartville Mo from South Florida a few months ago. I am going stir crazy. There are no parks, no decent restaurants, and absolutely NOTHING to do and no shopping unless I drive a million miles....I have a 4 year old, finding it hard to meet people...Any "hartville" family things or is there ANYTHING here for kids?? Desperate..

Hmmmm I live in a small town and I find that I have to consciously AVOID people to keep from meeting them.

Of course, in beautiful Missouri, the numero uno place to make friends is church. Since I am not a church-goer myself, this wouldn't work for me, and may not work for you either. But there are still lots of opportunities.

I am going to assume that you do not work because if you did, of course, your workplace would provide you with endless opportunities to meet people. So you are going to have to be more creative. Run down to the local library and find out what is going on in the community. Head on over to City Hall and find out when the next meeting is going to be held too. Nothing like a good town-hall meeting to get to know folks.

Volunteer to work in the concession stand at the local highschool when there are football games. Highschool sporting events are huge in small-town rural Missouri towns.

Get involved with the Wright County Historical Society, they probably have events during the year. Getting involved with volunteering is a good idea. I'm sure that the local health department, Headstart, high school, senior center, etc., has opportunities to volunteer and will give you a chanc to meet people.

Another great place to meet people is at the farm store! Find out when there are going to be livestock auctions and attend them. Asking farmers for information is a great way to learn about the rural environment and get to know folks at the same time. Check with the local extension agency to see if there are any classes or events that they are holding.

Get a job at the grocery store. LOL You'll meet everybody in town sooner or later.

20yrsinBranson

[Nanapower]

Originally Posted by Nexxie

Oh my, what have I done....I moved to Hartville Mo from South Florida a few months ago. I am going stir crazy. There are no parks, no decent restaurants, and absolutely NOTHING to do and no shopping unless I drive a million miles....I have a 4 year old, finding it hard to meet people...Any "hartville" family things or is there ANYTHING here for kids?? Desperate..

Drive up to Lebanon,Mo lots to find to do just get out of the house. I know if you are a people person I would have to say country living was not a good joice for you.

[Silvermouse]

Well I worked in Hartville and I love Hartville people, but they are not partial to newcomers. Your best bet is to be involved in school functions because Hartville revolves around its school. Check with the Extension Center and see if they have any homemakers clubs (yes, homemakers) and see if you might join them – gingerly - they likely have their own little clique all picked out, but you never know. If you raise animals there is the cattlemen's association, etc. Check out 4-H for your kids, that will probably be a friendlier bunch.

For heaven’s sake, don’t whine around about there being no shopping or nothing to do. That gets on people’s nerves faster than anything. My brother’s kids went to that school and they loved it. If I were you, I would try to try to build a life there for your children’s sake. What kind of grown woman wants to hang out at a mall anyway?

[Lake Junkie]

In re-reading my post (thank you, Shadowcaver!) I surely did not mean to sound harsh......rather to convey the idea that I may have shared a bit of the same adjustment issues...tho' I have to admit I originally loved the little town I first found in Missouri. (I was re-modeling an old farmhouse and gardening and doing the church thing and really make friends pretty easily so I was pretty busy that whole year...) My leaving also had a LOT to do with the big "D" and figuring out being single would be easier in Springfield...

I do wish Nexxie would come in & comment on some of this, if only to tell us we're a bunch of meanies...

[Silvermouse]

Originally Posted by Lake Junkie

I do wish Nexxie would come in & comment on some of this, if only to tell us we're a bunch of meanies...

I guess I'd like to know what she thought it was going to be like. It's pretty obvious shopping and restaurants don't abound there. It boggles the mind....

[sunshine girl]

Not surprised the OP has not posted again after all the "friendly" comments posted in "answer" to her comment. It read to me like she was in a meltdown over simple culture shock. Yeah, maybe she didn't realize the sometimes extreme difference between urban vs. rural living. It appears eventually it did sink in and it hit her hard, and then everyone rubs her nose in it. Not very helpful, people. Being proud of one's heritage and home turf is one thing, but sometimes that fervor comes across as very harsh and extremely unfriendly. And maybe a bit paranoid. Few transplants have any other agenda except to live and let live, and to meld into the established society already there, not to change or create a replica of what they are leaving. Chill.

To the OP if you are still monitoring your post: as you have found, actually living rural is not the same as the dream if you have never experienced it before. That being said, in time you may find that you can't imagine ever missing the concrete jungle. Some folks have tried to give you some heartfelt good advice on joining churches, the school, trying to form a local get together group, enjoying your surroundings, etc. Not all of these suggestions may fit your lifestyle. Being born a city girl with a country heart, and living rural for most of my adult life, I agree that it is a bit of an adjustment at first. Losing that "comfort" of having other people nearby and the convenience of stores and entertainment venues so close at hand takes time to shed. This is something those rural born do not understand and sometimes show scorn toward. You will also find jealousy from them over what you have, despite their declarations of being Christian and living by the ten commandments. Try to let it all flow like water off your back. The seller put his land up for sale to anyone willing to purchase it for whatever the asking price was, and you legally bought it and are the new owner to do with it how you see fit. It sounds like you have no close neighbors with that much acreage, so you may actually have to go ring their doorbells and introduce yourselves if they have not done so already. Good neighbors are important, and sometimes you have to make the first move and extend your hand in friendship. They may be trying to be respectful of your privacy, if they have not introduced themselves yet. To me, that would be the first step in feeling part of the community. Invite them over, get to know each other even if you are of different generations. You don't have to be best friends, just good, decent neighbors. If you become good friends, so much the better for each of your lives. Give yourself some time to acclimate, it does not happen overnight, try not to be impatient. Good luck to you, and I sincerely hope that you find your way.

[luzianne]

I agree with what you say about culture shock, sunshine girl. I was going to post yesterday but then didn't. My parents moved down there to retire. My dad's family was from Laclede County and he wanted to go back to the area he had grown up in. The lived near Ava and then later moved to Hartville/Mansfield. They love it down there. That's the life they like. They asked us many times to move down there (asked jokingly but I think they seriously would have loved us to be near them there). We spent many weekends down there visiting, but I was always glad we could leave and go home to Kansas City. The thought of living down there in the middle of nowhere is depressing to me. And I know Springfield has grown but in the 80s even Springfield wasn't much of anything. The countryside is beautiful down there and I love visiting. But I wouldn't want to live there. As I get older I am thinking at some point maybe I would retire in Laclede county and work on genealogy of my ancestors who lived there. But not sure I'd want to do that it. The only reason I'm fascinated with the area is that is where my roots are. If I didn't have that, I don't know that I'd be interested in it at all other than the scenic beauty of the area.

That being said, if I found myself in a situation that I was there and had a new home and 120 acres and was basically stuck there, I'd adjust. It would take some time though.

I'm sure the OP is going through some culture shock and in time she will adjust.

sunshine girl - you say you were born a city girl with a country heart. I was born a country girl with a city heart. Grew up in the country and got out as soon as I was 18. Now that I'm older I appreciate the country life more.

[SouthernerInSeattle]

What shopping do you need to do so bad that you can't do in town or driving to the Wal-Mart in Mtn Grove? No parks? Like everyone else said..120 acres of God's country and you need a park? I couldn't imagine that being true. Just a quick look on google and it looks like there's a lot of restaurants in Hartville.

[Silvermouse]

Originally Posted by sunshine girl

Not surprised the OP has not posted again after all the "friendly" comments posted in "answer" to her comment. It read to me like she was in a meltdown over simple culture shock. Yeah, maybe she didn't realize the sometimes extreme difference between urban vs. rural living. It appears eventually it did sink in and it hit her hard, and then everyone rubs her nose in it. Not very helpful, people. Being proud of one's heritage and home turf is one thing, but sometimes that fervor comes across as very harsh and extremely unfriendly. And maybe a bit paranoid. Few transplants have any other agenda except to live and let live, and to meld into the established society already there, not to change or create a replica of what they are leaving. Chill.

Oh blah, blah - if you choose to have a "meltdown" on an internet message board with a bunch of strangers, you get what you pay for. I thought she got some very helpful suggestions on how to adapt.

[Lake Junkie]

I think it's good to remember that the tone of messages in emails & on message boards are easily mis-interpreted...I think the smilie faces are here to help portray the intended feeling behind the words. I have a terrible habit of seeing both sides, and I do here.

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and here's to hoping that the OP jumps back in to give us her thoughts...