Oh what have I done??? (Kansas City, St. Louis: sale, to buy, luxury)

[Nexxie]

Thanks to every-one who has posted here, I have read all of them and have a better understanding of your way and I respect it. Please don't pass judgement on all the newbies comming in and immediately assume we want to change things and have an indisposable amount of cash, therefore; shutting us out and not giving us a chance.

I am not here by choice, unfortunate circumstances has brought me here and I posted looking for ideas and help in adjusting. I got that, and then some.... I feel so welcome.

From what I have read, it appears people are quite materialistic here. 120 acreas on the gasconade river and I should be happy?? The love that comes from family and friends, and neighbors that look out for you is what is most important to me. I could care less about the 120 acres, means nothing to me...

As far as shopping and malls go, it is simply city life in Florida. Florida is a very hot state and that is where a lot of moms and family go to be indoors in air conditioning and socialize. The malls in Florida are geared towards families with kids that simpy want to escape the heat. We go there so the kids could play in the indoor parks, not to spend our indisposable amount of cash. As far as restaurants are concerned, I am simply looking for "healthy food" and have yet to find that in hamburgers, fries, pizza hut, kfc, taco bell and McDonald's. (for the people that do not cook, the restaurant problem and lack of healthy food choices certainly shows here!)

I thank-you all again for your postings and I sincerely respect your way of life. Unless you have experienced the other side of the fence, please do not pre-judge us newbies and come to conclusions with-out even giving us the time of day. Merry X-Mas to all and a happy new year

[mongazid]

Very good post nexxie, and I am glad your still around. But theres is a couple things I need to correct you on. First Around here the "American Dream" is not a house in a subdivision. Its a farm. So calling people materialistic for wishing they had 120 acers is'nt fair. Other people saying you should be happy with 120 acers is'nt fair either. And second, Bisciuts and Gravy is health fooooooooooo oooooo ooooooo ooooooooooood.............. (Sorry just had a mild heart attack)

[ShadowCaver]

Nexxie - thanks for the post/reply... Actually, and apologies for semi-repeating mongazid's post, but the land aspect, the owning of "120 acres", is not in and of itself 'materialistic', its just that many of us hillbillies and rural folks are indeed just that - not necessarily anti-city/suburbs, but just that a love of the land, the country life, the living off and with the land, the individualism that comes from all such, that is what gets our hearts and souls going [yea, the biscuits and gravy, the fried chicken,,, yea those are all part of it too ] On that note, seriously, if a person want to live in rural MO and eat healthy [which btw many people do], that can surely be done too - may not be as easy as when living in the 'burbs with more outlets/choices, but yes it is and can be accomplished. [and no offense, but during living/visiting various cities, can attest that there are a fair amount of big gulp persons there too]. Lastly, seriously, truly spend some time in the Ozarks and you will find, I can also attest too personally, that the people there do indeed value their families too... even the cousins that we don't marry. j/k...

PS: A sincere warm Merry Christmas wish, to you and yours...

[OA 5599]

A lot of people do indeed eat quite healthy in the Ozarks. The difference is that you are going to have to cook it yourself most times. I'm sure that Springfield has a number of resturants where you can get healthy food, but as you have seen they are absent in smaller towns. I know quite a few people living in the Ozarks who are quite health-concisous, and grow most of their own food through organic gardening, right on their own land. My parents have a very nice garden, and the tomatoes that come out of there are 100x better than anything you can get in a grocery store, or just about anywhere else. Learning to cook really isn't hard...I picked it up myself this summer (mainly so I could eat healthier food and save money)....you can find many cookbooks online and get started that way. A trip to Springfield may be required to go to a larger grocery store or health food store to get certian things you can't find at your local stores, but you can always stock up when you do go to minimize the number of trips you have to make. Learning how to cook is a very rewarding thing to do, IMO.

[Lake Junkie]

Nexxie,

I'm so glad you jumped back in. My original post was intended to share your pain. I understood your frustration and the culture shock...I didn't understand that you were not here by choice. That makes all the difference!

There absolutely is a culture difference between any urban area and rural anywhere USA! (It's certainly not just Missouri.)

I've always found the food thing a challenge. When we first moved here from Sacramento, I was not prepared for that...the grocery stores didn't have certain items, the restaurants still served salad made of iceberg lettuce! As the more populated areas evolve, I'm seeing more and more of the kinds of foods that we missed in the beginning. Demand creates supply, I suppose...

I hope you can make a comfortable nest here, and appreciate you sharing your experiences.

The best of luck...

[anr_black]

Nexxie,
I've been reading this thread with interest and I'm glad you got back on to update your OP. I don't live in the area...in fact, I'm a country girl who's spent the last decade in the city (Chicago, then St. Louis), but I can definitely relate to the other side of the coin. I also stay home with the kids, and understand the isolation, especially in the winter. I checked out the wright county tourism website, which has links to Mountain Grove's and Mansfield's chamber of commerce sites. They list several "parks" (I'm assuming at least one must have a playground?), public swimming pools, golf courses, skating rinks, health clubs, and 1 MALL! :-) Have you looked into any of those? If your son's not in preschool, you should find one for him, for your sanity and for both of you to hopefully make some friends. Regardless of your religion, many churches in the midwest have a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) playgroup that you could join. There have to be other moms there in similar circumstances as yours, even if it's just they stay home and are lonely. If there's a local Y or parks department, enroll your son in a sport. It will give you a reason to get out of the house, keep him busy, and again, is a great way to make friends. All the women I've met in my neighborhood were through church, school, and sports. I thinks that pretty much universal for American moms.
Regardless of what brought you to rural MO, I really hope you can make the best of it and recreate a new life for you and your family. You may have to let go of the way you're used to doing things, which I know is hard (was for me, too). Sincerely wishing you good luck and happy holidays! Wait until spring...everything looks better in the spring. ;-)

[lone sailor]

Originally Posted by Nexxie

Thanks to every-one who has posted here, I have read all of them and have a better understanding of your way and I respect it. Please don't pass judgement on all the newbies comming in and immediately assume we want to change things and have an indisposable amount of cash, therefore; shutting us out and not giving us a chance.

I am not here by choice, unfortunate circumstances has brought me here and I posted looking for ideas and help in adjusting. I got that, and then some.... I feel so welcome.

From what I have read, it appears people are quite materialistic here. 120 acreas on the gasconade river and I should be happy?? The love that comes from family and friends, and neighbors that look out for you is what is most important to me. I could care less about the 120 acres, means nothing to me...

As far as shopping and malls go, it is simply city life in Florida. Florida is a very hot state and that is where a lot of moms and family go to be indoors in air conditioning and socialize. The malls in Florida are geared towards families with kids that simpy want to escape the heat. We go there so the kids could play in the indoor parks, not to spend our indisposable amount of cash. As far as restaurants are concerned, I am simply looking for "healthy food" and have yet to find that in hamburgers, fries, pizza hut, kfc, taco bell and McDonald's. (for the people that do not cook, the restaurant problem and lack of healthy food choices certainly shows here!)

I thank-you all again for your postings and I sincerely respect your way of life. Unless you have experienced the other side of the fence, please do not pre-judge us newbies and come to conclusions with-out even giving us the time of day. Merry X-Mas to all and a happy new year

From someone who has left the Southern Missouri area for Florida with a military calling and then back again, I can attest to the things you are saying. A lot of misconceptions happen due to the misunderstandings of everyday life between two extremely different areas of the country. I have been on both sides of the fence here and I can honestly say that I found both Missouri and Florida to have great attributes that keep making me want to return to the other, or at least visit often. Whatever your reason for being here, we hope you find a way to settle your stir craziness while finding some things that you enjoy about the Southern Missouri area. I can understand that Hartville is an extremely small town, and yes, there are very few things to do. Unfortunately, with small towns such as that one, funds for things like parks, recreation areas, gym's, playgrounds, and other things take a backseat because they just can not be afforded. Most of these small towns can barely keep up with their water and sewer systems, let alone provide funding for family oriented fun. I'm not saying it is right, but without big business or an extremely wealthy family within the city, most projects that those of us have had access to, will just never happen there. If infrastructure were to take on a new course next year, then possibly, just possibly we could get back to the basics in these areas where the need is the greatest.

People often jump to conclusions and it's so easy on an internet forum. Someone takes something the wrong way and then it takes a downhill effect. Please keep an open mind and remember that you can't always hear sarcasm, straight talk, tones of speech, etc, which for the most part I think you have. The way I always look at it, there usually two or three different ways you can read something in text, where as if someone is speaking, generally you know immediate what their statement is saying to you. Again, I hope you can find some comfort and friendship in your new found home. If there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask. God bless.

[MoNative34]

Originally Posted by lone sailor

From someone who has left the Southern Missouri area for Florida with a military calling and then back again, I can attest to the things you are saying. A lot of misconceptions happen due to the misunderstandings of everyday life between two extremely different areas of the country. I have been on both sides of the fence here and I can honestly say that I found both Missouri and Florida to have great attributes that keep making me want to return to the other, or at least visit often. Whatever your reason for being here, we hope you find a way to settle your stir craziness while finding some things that you enjoy about the Southern Missouri area. I can understand that Hartville is an extremely small town, and yes, there are very few things to do. Unfortunately, with small towns such as that one, funds for things like parks, recreation areas, gym's, playgrounds, and other things take a backseat because they just can not be afforded. Most of these small towns can barely keep up with their water and sewer systems, let alone provide funding for family oriented fun. I'm not saying it is right, but without big business or an extremely wealthy family within the city, most projects that those of us have had access to, will just never happen there. If infrastructure were to take on a new course next year, then possibly, just possibly we could get back to the basics in these areas where the need is the greatest.

People often jump to conclusions and it's so easy on an internet forum. Someone takes something the wrong way and then it takes a downhill effect. Please keep an open mind and remember that you can't always hear sarcasm, straight talk, tones of speech, etc, which for the most part I think you have. The way I always look at it, there usually two or three different ways you can read something in text, where as if someone is speaking, generally you know immediate what their statement is saying to you. Again, I hope you can find some comfort and friendship in your new found home. If there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask. God bless.

Well said and reps to you!!

[NOLA2SGF]

Just one thought to interject...

For whatever reasons, you really had no choice about moving there. So don't feel like it is a mistake. You are making the best of your circumstances and you should be proud of that. You should also be proud that you are searching even in this forum, for ideas to improve your situation rather than just settling for being unhappy.

Life sometimes throws us challenges that are hard for us to overcome. My father used to say that this develops character.... but I always told him that I had enough character already!

Hugs from 60-year-old lady who remembers how isolated a mother of young children can feel sometimes.

[Mizzou]

Nexxi: Are you serious about selling your place on the Gasconade? We are planning on moving down to that area as soon as we sell our place near Columbia, MO. If you are serious about selling let me know what you are asking for it.