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Old 02-10-2010, 05:02 AM
 
5 posts, read 10,209 times
Reputation: 13

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Thinking long and hard about moving there
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Old 02-17-2010, 11:16 PM
 
1 posts, read 2,288 times
Reputation: 12
I am so happy for you!!! We moved here about 4 1/2 years ago and I still feel like an outsider. I have lots of people I know from work, child's activities and from the school...but I do nothing with these people. They already have their circle of friends and I guess they don't need new members. I find myself still referring to back home, because I'm not home. So you see I have found Springfield friendly, but don't invade my space.
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Old 02-18-2010, 09:38 AM
 
418 posts, read 1,030,040 times
Reputation: 319
Quote:
Originally Posted by Outsiders View Post
I am so happy for you!!! We moved here about 4 1/2 years ago and I still feel like an outsider. I have lots of people I know from work, child's activities and from the school...but I do nothing with these people. They already have their circle of friends and I guess they don't need new members. I find myself still referring to back home, because I'm not home. So you see I have found Springfield friendly, but don't invade my space.
I think that happens a lot. People visit the state and because Missourians are friendly, they assume we're also inclusive, but it tain't necessarily so.
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Old 02-20-2010, 04:42 AM
 
Location: Seattle
41 posts, read 142,282 times
Reputation: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Outsiders View Post
I am so happy for you!!! We moved here about 4 1/2 years ago and I still feel like an outsider. I have lots of people I know from work, child's activities and from the school...but I do nothing with these people. They already have their circle of friends and I guess they don't need new members. I find myself still referring to back home, because I'm not home. So you see I have found Springfield friendly, but don't invade my space.

Missouri can seem "cliquey" but only so because most of us went to kindergarten and graduated high school together, life-time friends. And as you say you refer to "back home," so you're still living back there and most likely won't try too hard to make friends here.
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Old 02-24-2010, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Texas
321 posts, read 720,569 times
Reputation: 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Outsiders View Post
I am so happy for you!!! We moved here about 4 1/2 years ago and I still feel like an outsider. I have lots of people I know from work, child's activities and from the school...but I do nothing with these people. They already have their circle of friends and I guess they don't need new members. I find myself still referring to back home, because I'm not home. So you see I have found Springfield friendly, but don't invade my space.
Sounds like you are the one that doesn't want to be interfered with. Try being a little more outgoing and make it known that you are interested in more than just a professional/workplace/school/etc friendship and you will probably be surprised at the outcome. Of course that also depends on the kinds of things you enjoy, or hobbies you have, and as well the kinds of things these other people enjoy and what they like to do. So my suggestion to you is, if you really want to be included, keep being yourself, but make the effort to put yourself in a position to be asked to come along instead of quietly sitting by yourself having an attitude of "don't invade my space". Sometimes making more of an effort really does help.


*Disclaimer* - Take this post with a grain of salt as it is not meant to be perceived in a negative manner.
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Old 02-25-2010, 09:33 AM
 
418 posts, read 1,030,040 times
Reputation: 319
Quote:
Originally Posted by lone sailor View Post
Sounds like you are the one that doesn't want to be interfered with. Try being a little more outgoing and make it known that you are interested in more than just a professional/workplace/school/etc friendship and you will probably be surprised at the outcome. Of course that also depends on the kinds of things you enjoy, or hobbies you have, and as well the kinds of things these other people enjoy and what they like to do. So my suggestion to you is, if you really want to be included, keep being yourself, but make the effort to put yourself in a position to be asked to come along instead of quietly sitting by yourself having an attitude of "don't invade my space". Sometimes making more of an effort really does help.


*Disclaimer* - Take this post with a grain of salt as it is not meant to be perceived in a negative manner.
I read it as she thought the people from Springfield were "don't invade my space" types. Good post though.

I think everyone has experienced this in some degree. Myself, if I don't "click" with someone, it doesn't even occur to me to invite them to something.
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Old 02-26-2010, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Texas
321 posts, read 720,569 times
Reputation: 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvermouse View Post
I read it as she thought the people from Springfield were "don't invade my space" types. Good post though.

I think everyone has experienced this in some degree. Myself, if I don't "click" with someone, it doesn't even occur to me to invite them to something.

I see how it might have been intended to read that way. Good call.
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Old 02-27-2010, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Rolla, Phelps County, Ozarks, Missouri
1,069 posts, read 2,173,395 times
Reputation: 1252
Quote:
Originally Posted by Outsiders View Post
I am so happy for you!!! We moved here about 4 1/2 years ago and I still feel like an outsider. I have lots of people I know from work, child's activities and from the school...but I do nothing with these people. They already have their circle of friends and I guess they don't need new members. I find myself still referring to back home, because I'm not home. So you see I have found Springfield friendly, but don't invade my space.
I once said here that the best way for an outsider to become a part of the grain of a new area is to jump in and participate in all the things the homegrown folks do. Here are some of the ideas I shared:

Attend school athletic events and concerts. In the small towns, the school is the centerpiece of the community. Show your support of the community and it's young people by cheering for them at football, basketball and volleyball games and listening to them singing or playing their musical instruments.

Go to every fair and festival, parade, rodeo, sheep-shearing, goat-roping and rat-killing you can find. Get amongst the people. Don't sneer at events like the Black Walnut Festival in Stockton or the Waynesville Frogfest, the Crane Broiler Festival or the Vichy Tractor Cavalcade. They are fun and attending them is a great way to get to know folks.

Find a bluegrass jam session and just go listen, if nothing else.

Attend a local church.

DISCLAIMER: Feel free to ignore this advice. It was roundly criticized hre by a couple of transplants who thought it was utterly foolish. Maybe it is.
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Old 03-01-2010, 06:34 AM
 
Location: Branson-Hollister-Kimberling City
1,806 posts, read 4,685,471 times
Reputation: 1556
Quote:
Originally Posted by ozarksboy View Post
I once said here that the best way for an outsider to become a part of the grain of a new area is to jump in and participate in all the things the homegrown folks do. Here are some of the ideas I shared:

Attend school athletic events and concerts. In the small towns, the school is the centerpiece of the community. Show your support of the community and it's young people by cheering for them at football, basketball and volleyball games and listening to them singing or playing their musical instruments.

Go to every fair and festival, parade, rodeo, sheep-shearing, goat-roping and rat-killing you can find. Get amongst the people. Don't sneer at events like the Black Walnut Festival in Stockton or the Waynesville Frogfest, the Crane Broiler Festival or the Vichy Tractor Cavalcade. They are fun and attending them is a great way to get to know folks.

Find a bluegrass jam session and just go listen, if nothing else.

Attend a local church.

DISCLAIMER: Feel free to ignore this advice. It was roundly criticized hre by a couple of transplants who thought it was utterly foolish. Maybe it is.
Not a foolish thing there, dear ozarksboy...'cept you missed one of the best......you've just got to find yourself a good old fashioned fish 'n tater fry down to the crick...

You're a love. Doing well, I hope.
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Old 03-06-2010, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Rolla, Phelps County, Ozarks, Missouri
1,069 posts, read 2,173,395 times
Reputation: 1252
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lake Junkie View Post
Not a foolish thing there, dear ozarksboy...'cept you missed one of the best......you've just got to find yourself a good old fashioned fish 'n tater fry down to the crick...

You're a love. Doing well, I hope.
Thanks for the addendum, LJ; fried fish fresh from the stream is mighty tasty.

I also forgot this important point: The foundation for being accepted here is to get a job and work your tail end off.

You can go to all the fairs and festivals, go hunting and fishing, go to the games and concerts and go to church, but if you do not work hard at your job, you are not going to be respected.

If you work hard, you're likely going to be the kind of person with integrity, common sense and concern for others.
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