Is St. Louis more cliquish than other cities its size? (Mexico: appointed, how much)

[Matthew Hall]

As far as peer cities, Cincinnati GAINED about 6.5% while cleveland, pittsburgh and detroit LOST a little more than 3% each. Big differences among these cities. If cleveland, pittsburgh or detroit has had the demographics of st. louis in the last 20 years they'd have half a million more people. If they had the demographics of cincinnati they'd have 750,000 more. There are real differences among these cities.

[DiscoBerry]

Originally Posted by Magnipotent1

Lol..I'm up at 6 in the morning goggling 'why st.Louis cliquish' I've been here for 6 months, and am having a terrible time making friends. I am from Texas, and spent my life moving around the state. Everywhere I went, by 6 months I had tons of friends. I have done everything I can think of to make friends. I've invited neighbors over for coffee, tried befriending other moms from playgroups etc. I get ignored! They are friendly to my face and then blow me off for their friends they went to high school with. My neighbor had a 'neighborhood' party last weekend, and when I said, 'sounds like a wild time at your house Sat night' with a big smile and compliment on her dress. She told me, 'oh we've all known each other forever" I miss my loud, welcoming, embracing Texans

I am from here and even I feel your pain. I left for the Army a few years ago and came back to a city where most of my friends have left (to find jobs in other places). This place is weird like that. Not unfriendly, just clique-y. I used to bar tend at a popular CWE bar and several of my regulars were transplants from other places. Over the years I worked there, 3 moved away as fast as they could and a couple I slowly watched turn into alcoholics.

All had the same complaints, hard to fit into a group of HS friends, decade old inside-jokes etc, people preferring to spend time with locals because they could always find mutual acquaintanceship through playing the 'where'd ya go to HS' game. For whatever reason it seems to be harder on women.

[aragx6]

St. Louis turns bar flys into alcoholics. Interesting supposition.

[DiscoBerry]

Originally Posted by aragx6

St. Louis turns bar flys into alcoholics. Interesting supposition.

I think it had more to do with St. Louis being a place that is harder than most to move to if you don't know people already there. It ain't easy to fit in here if you don't know anyone.

[moorlander]

It seem like the only place I hear saying that it's hard to meet people in StL and that StL is "cliquish" is here on the internet message boards. I guess that does fit the internet message board stereotype.
I'm sorry if it's true. I just typically hear the opposite from my out of state friends or family.

[DinsdalePirahna]

Saint Louis is very tough on transplants, more so than other cities of similar size and culture.

I have heard that cities such as Pittsburgh and Charleston, WV are also very cliquish, but I had no trouble making friends there and fitting in. St. Louis (Metro) is one of the oddest places I have ever lived and worked.

[DiscoBerry]

Originally Posted by moorlander

I guess that does fit the internet message board stereotype.
I'm sorry if it's true. I just typically hear the opposite from my out of state friends or family.

So since your local friends and family are nice to your out of town friends and family (who are here for a visit), STL must not be uniquely cliquey?

[kshe95girl]

Guess the old saw still rings true; "In order to have a friend, you must be a friend first".
I've never had any problems meeting people, making friends or dating anywhere I have lived.
But then again, I never tried to say that any of my "problems" had anything to do with geographical location.
People are people wherever you go.
-shrugs-

[moorlander]

Originally Posted by DiscoBerry

So since your local friends and family are nice to your out of town friends and family (who are here for a visit), STL must not be uniquely cliquey?

I don't think that's what I said...Let me clarify

I have both friends and family that now reside in St. Louis but grew up out of state. My parents moved here from Virginia right before my brother and sister were born.

I've never once heard any of them b*tch about how they can't make any friends and that St. Louis is to blame. It's typically mentioned how great, kind, friendly, down to earth, etc everyone in St. Louis is. Some say they wish they were closer to the mountains or beach, but couldn't imagine moving away from the great freinds they've made here.

If you've had different experiences then that's fine. Not all experiences are the same. Most of my friends had no idea where I was from or where I grew up until long into our friendship. I just find it odd that people think StL, a metro of ~3million, is too "cliquey" to make friends.

I have some pretty close friends that have transferred/moved here to work at companies such as AT&T, MasterCard, Wells Fargo, Edward Jones, and Boeing and they all seem to have lots of friends.

My advice is to keep on trying. There are lots of good friendly people here.

[CoffeeAndBeer]

There's a difference between being cliquish and being unfriendly, and I think that's an important distinction. St. Louis is middle of the road in that respect, and generally pretty darn friendly...it is what it is - make an effort to make friends and they will come, this isn't Texas nor will it ever be like that. It's an old place with some weird and complicated social layers, and it's not exactly alone in that respect...