Single men: DO NOT move to St Louis (St. Louis, St. Charles: hotel, gangs)

[MORebelWoman]

Originally Posted by BoomBoxing

Hilarious post, OP! Especially the part where you assign very specific and uncommon personality traits (e.g. extreme violence) to millions of women when you've probably dated 0.0000001% of them. Awesome!

His post basically explains why he has had trouble finding a partner or even friends. He is a snob and he most likely shows it when people meet him. Who cares if he leaves? Don't let the door hit ya little man is all I say to him.

[MORebelWoman]

Originally Posted by zoomzoom3

I used to live in St. Louis & dating there is not fun.

First of all it's very socially conservative, catholic, and has high marriage rates. There is a very low number of singles altogether. There is really no hookup culture there to speak of either.

It's a bit better here in South Florida.

Best city to date in that I've visited is San Francisco, many singles, very socially liberal, and women are generally down for "casual fun."

So, you were looking for one night stands and are mad because you got turned down by women with respect for themselves. Tough ***** little man. You guys are the problem and you can't admit it.

[scocar]

I think the overall nature of the thread should be looked at. The real question is: "Is St. Louis an inviting place for transplants?". I moved here 3 years ago from Phoenix. Now my views are automatically skewed because Phoenix is much more transient. So you were way more likely to meet someone that did not grow up there. But there clearly is a distinctive difference in how easy I made friends in Phoenix. Here people are nice, but in general they have their friends and they don't seem very interested in inviting people into their "circle". I am a teacher and when I got a job teaching in Phoenix, my team at the school became a "circle of friends" we went out to happy hours together. Most of them also had friends outside of the school but oftentimes they would show up at the happy hour as well. Since I've been here I've really met one person I would now consider a friend. In three years I have one person from St. Louis on my contacts list on my cell phone that is not directly linked to work. Now I'm in my mid 40's and married, so I'm not actively looking for friends either. But I have not seen the same camaraderie among the teachers at the schools I've taught at as I saw in Phoenix.

[KarenElissa]

Originally Posted by scocar

I think the overall nature of the thread should be looked at. The real question is: "Is St. Louis an inviting place for transplants?". I moved here 3 years ago from Phoenix. Now my views are automatically skewed because Phoenix is much more transient. So you were way more likely to meet someone that did not grow up there.

I think the fact that there aren't that many transplants hear is the big problem for those of us who are transplants. I moved here from Tucson and lived close to the air force base, so lots of people in and out. Giving people the benefit of the doubt, I don't think you can really understand what it is like to be new to the area unless you have been there, so locals just aren't as open to us newbies as people who have moved around some would be.

[mjtinmemphis]

I understand where you are coming from. I live in the city and do believe I have met more transplants from Chicago and the southeast than natives.

I know 20 years ago we had a lot of old timers living here but now it seems like the city has been flooded by transplants. The suburbs are quite different from what I can see and from what people have told me.

[Caesarstl]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

I understand where you are coming from. I live in the city and do believe I have met more transplants from Chicago and the southeast than natives.

I know 20 years ago we had a lot of old timers living here but now it seems like the city has been flooded by transplants. The suburbs are quite different from what I can see and from what people have told me.

Exactly, your experience with this will be vastly different depending upon where you live/work/play/etc. A bit more transplants and people open/wanting to make more friends in a place like the central west end as opposed to Fenton for example.

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by Caesarstl

...Fenton...

one word tells the whole story!

If I where a suburbanite, I would have to live in the sunbelt. I met this couple who constantly reminds me how Fenton has been good for "family" but the moment their daughter leave home next year they will start shopping for a condo in the central corridor.

If you are from Phoenix, I can see how you would have a hard time all around in the St. Louis area.

[zoomzoom3]

Originally Posted by MORebelWoman

So, you were looking for one night stands and are mad because you got turned down by women with respect for themselves. Tough ***** little man. You guys are the problem and you can't admit it.

I don't have time for normal dating when I work 80-100 hours a week.

[FrankMiller]

Originally Posted by scocar

I am a teacher and when I got a job teaching in Phoenix, my team at the school became a "circle of friends" we went out to happy hours together. Most of them also had friends outside of the school but oftentimes they would show up at the happy hour as well.

Not a teacher, but this seems more like the workplace experiences I've had in StL than anything other people have been describing. But in the abstract, it does intuitively seem likely that cities with a large number of transplants would be easier to make new friends in.

Intuition and anecdotes don't mean much, though, so I'm curious if there is any actual data on the topic.

[Chicago76]

Originally Posted by FrankMiller

Not a teacher, but this seems more like the workplace experiences I've had in StL than anything other people have been describing. But in the abstract, it does intuitively seem likely that cities with a large number of transplants would be easier to make new friends in.

Intuition and anecdotes don't mean much, though, so I'm curious if there is any actual data on the topic.

I don't think there is a good way of measuring it...new friends/social outings per time period based upon age, sex, profession, location or residence, how charming/attractive someone is, etc? Measuring the quality of those friendships/outings? People cite transplants leaving, but that could be down to other factors (not liking the city in general, a temporary assignment, poor career prospects, not being close to family, etc.) Even if you could measure it (St. Louis is X% less friendly than KC or Milwaukee or whatever), what would it accomplish?

I think the important things to note in this situation are that it's probably true, because: 1) this has been a regular comment from those who are transplants, and 2) many of the locals see it even though they haven't lived in a transplant's shoes here 3) the population at large talks about the fragmentation of the region politically and socially, and I wouldn't think there is any reason to think this doesn't extend to social bridges between natives and newcomers, and 4) the metro doesn't have a lot of transplants, which can be statistically verified.

The question is, as a region, what can and should be done about it?