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If I was the OP I would chose the city over the county. The city is much more interesting lots of historic Brick architecture, plenty of vibrant areas like the Central West end. which is a neighborhood I recommend along with Forest Park East, or Downtown. Also People in the city are way more welcoming to transplants. What I noticed from my experience about the High school question is that only people who are older and not Millennials ask that question, So If your 30 or under or hangout with those who are 30 or younger I doubt if the question would come up.
Okay, but are there spots in the city that are very quiet, car dependent and "sleepy?" I like peace and quiet and have no interest in walking to bars and restaurants or vibrancy or any of that, since I don't care about any of those things. I'm the outdoorsy type who likes total silence and no people. I want a single family detached house. Not a condo or attached unit.
But if it's only the city that's okay with transplants, that's a big disappointment. I wasn't planning on living my live in a small bubble. I like to also do things in other surrounding towns.
Okay, but are there spots in the city that are very quiet, car dependent and "sleepy?" I like peace and quiet and have no interest in walking to bars and restaurants or vibrancy or any of that, since I don't care about any of those things. I'm the outdoorsy type who likes total silence and no people. I want a single family detached house. Not a condo or attached unit.
But if it's only the city that's okay with transplants, that's a big disappointment. I wasn't planning on living my live in a small bubble. I like to also do things in other surrounding towns.
Speaking from the perspective of a transplant in STL, I don't think that there is a single area of the metro that isn't okay with transplants. The issue is that compared to other metros of this size, there are relatively few transplants to begin with. As others have mentioned, job and population growth in the metro is very low. The metro isn't particularly close to other large metros either (KC 4 hrs west and Indy 4 hrs east are closest), there isn't as much opportunity to "trade" people and cross pollinate they way you might see a slow growth metro on the east coast like Providence or Hartford do.
What this means is that an extremely large proportion of the population is from here and it is very likely that they have been for at least another generation or two back. Almost all of their friends are from here and very likely the majority of their friends are people they've known since childhood or are even family friendships that their family has had since before the person was born. People are nice and friendly. They just already have a full plate of social obligations and aren't as inclined to branch out from their pre-existing social circle.
The more professional neighborhoods in the city contain more transplants, so it is easier (although still probably not as easy as other more transient cities IMO). You can live out away from people and locals will treat you well. You're just going to need to work harder at fostering social connections through group activities and the like.
As a gay man who moved back to St. Louis almost a year ago, I would say the area is pretty gay friendly.
I don't think St. Louis county is as transplant friendly as the city but as long as you stay away from the bedroom community type living you may be fine.
I've only been asked the "what high school you went to" question out of sarcasm one time. People generally aren't that narrow here. I could see where that would be a legit issue. In Memphis it was what church. In Chicago it was where did you grow up as in neighborhood. Charlotte it's where are you from.
As far as pace of life the area is a good medium. It feels like a mid sized city.
If you are suburban oriented and looking for progressive living in terms of transplant friendliness I would recommend sunbelt cities over St Louis. There may be pockets here and there but your overall vibe I think would be better in other places.
If you are looking for a good small big city vibe with a good quality of life, I choose St. Louis. The area is car friendly in terms of having a good freeway system, low gas prices and decent traffic flow most of the time. Even in the city, there is very little parking hassle and nerve wrecking traffic. At the same time there is a lot of fun things to do and you don't have to have a lot of money to do it here. It's a good small big city.
It's not like the cities you were comparing it to. Downtown is fairly compact, we don't really have "traffic", and there's not much "hustle or bustle" around town.
We have good sports support (which sounds like the Rams will get a new stadium...but i wonder about a new super bowl ring) and the Cardinals are a huge piece of this town.
I'm a native, and currently live about a mile from where I grew up. Thinking of my neighbors, 4 out of the 5 homes immediately next to me are folks who live less than a mile of where they grew up. We have one family of "transplants" who've been here about 10 years, and are from rural Illinois.
St. Louis does have tons of trails and hiking, quick access to state parks, and a fairly low COL compared to some parts of the country. I can't speak to how gay friendly we are, but I've known and worked with plenty of openly gay individuals and have never witnessed them being discriminated against. On the other hand, those individuals discussed their sexuality about as much as the straight individuals I know (i.e. not much at all). As many mentioned, St. Louis County would have the types of things you're looking for, quiet suburban living. If you can find a job here, and you're willing to make the move, there's no reason not to.
It's not like the cities you were comparing it to. Downtown is fairly compact, we don't really have "traffic", and there's not much "hustle or bustle" around town.
We have good sports support (which sounds like the Rams will get a new stadium...but i wonder about a new super bowl ring) and the Cardinals are a huge piece of this town.
I'm a native, and currently live about a mile from where I grew up. Thinking of my neighbors, 4 out of the 5 homes immediately next to me are folks who live less than a mile of where they grew up. We have one family of "transplants" who've been here about 10 years, and are from rural Illinois.
St. Louis does have tons of trails and hiking, quick access to state parks, and a fairly low COL compared to some parts of the country. I can't speak to how gay friendly we are, but I've known and worked with plenty of openly gay individuals and have never witnessed them being discriminated against. On the other hand, those individuals discussed their sexuality about as much as the straight individuals I know (i.e. not much at all). As many mentioned, St. Louis County would have the types of things you're looking for, quiet suburban living. If you can find a job here, and you're willing to make the move, there's no reason not to.
Yes, well there are lots and lots of good paying jobs in my field, posted online, in STL, and my field is quite specialized. I have a master's degree and 7 years of experience, which is great. I will have enough money to move with no job lined up and live for several years with no job. My main reasons for moving are (a) to be able to afford a house sooner than later, and (b) to get away from the stressful lifestyle of the east coast.
Okay, but are there spots in the city that are very quiet, car dependent and "sleepy?" I like peace and quiet and have no interest in walking to bars and restaurants or vibrancy or any of that, since I don't care about any of those things. I'm the outdoorsy type who likes total silence and no people. I want a single family detached house. Not a condo or attached unit.
But if it's only the city that's okay with transplants, that's a big disappointment. I wasn't planning on living my live in a small bubble. I like to also do things in other surrounding towns.
There are lots of detached single-family houses in the city.
If you're looking for a quiet place with total silence and no people, I'm curious how people accepting transplants would make a difference to you. But I'm sure if you find some club you are interested in for biking or whatever, people will be quite happy to meet you regardless of where you're from. To the extent that the county is anti-transplant, it's just that most suburbanites tend to have comfortable social circles and aren't out looking for new friends. If you're happy just to relax on your own or maybe join an activity-oriented social group, you should be fine.
Are people hostile toward transplants or do they just not care much for them? I'm an introverted person and don't care about making lots of friends. I just want a few gay or straight friends and I'm all set.
Are people hostile toward transplants or do they just not care much for them? I'm an introverted person and don't care about making lots of friends. I just want a few gay or straight friends and I'm all set.
I don't think people are hostile toward transplants, many of them are just set in their ways, which can make it hard to break into social groups compared to somewhere like Charlotte where everybody is looking for new friends. Transplants here find new friends all the time, you'll just have to make an effort to meet people or hang out with coworkers or something.
Is STL one of those fast paced, stressful, heavy traffic metro areas similar to Chicago, Houston or Minneapolis? Or is it laid back with friendly people?
Is there any good scenery around in the area or hiking trails and parks?
Is it true that STL natives ask people which high school they went to, like it's a big deal?
Is STL welcoming to transplants at all?
Overall, is it a good place to live for someone who is single, gay and in their 30's? And from New England? I like neighborhoods that are car dependent, 100% quiet, with plenty of trees and no one walking around.
I have been to the Gateway Arch back in the summer of 2012 and thought it was neat. In my fields, there seems to be a LOT of jobs in STL that I'm qualified and interested in.
(1) I'd say it's a good in-between area. It's big enough to have a little bit of hustle and bustle but small enough that the people are nice and the traffic is pretty manageable
(2) Depends. I think the rolling Ozark hills are very pretty, but I know a lot of people find them underwhelming. I'm not super outdoorsy so I don't know a lot about hiking trails and whatnot. Laumeier sculpture park is cool.
(3) I've only been asked that a couple of times and didn't find it that annoying.
(4) Again, it depends. The inner areas of the metro area have more transplants and the people are generally friendlier than the more parochial outer areas. I'm a transplant and I've had no problem meeting people here, but I live in the City, so your mileage may vary.
(5) Gay people are A-okay here. I've never experienced any discrimination and even my friends who live out in O'Fallon (they're a gay interracial couple) said it's not a problem out there either.
If you like quiet, car-dependent areas you're in luck. Outside of a handful of areas in the City and the inner-ring suburbs, the vast majority of the metro area fits that description. You might like the Kirkwood/Webster Groves area. Very picturesque streetcar suburbs with classic tree-lined streets, lots of transplants, and still part of the less parochial inner metro area.
Yes, well there are lots and lots of good paying jobs in my field, posted online, in STL, and my field is quite specialized. I have a master's degree and 7 years of experience, which is great. I will have enough money to move with no job lined up and live for several years with no job. My main reasons for moving are (a) to be able to afford a house sooner than later, and (b) to get away from the stressful lifestyle of the east coast.
You had mentioned earlier that you think of Chicago, Houston, and Minneapolis as stressful places. I can understand that view of Chicago, but what in your opinion/experience makes you think of Houston and in particular Minneapolis as stressful places? Just curious.
IMO, as far as stressful places go, the metros on the DC-Boston corridor are definitely up there, as are the Bay Area, LA, and Miami. Chicago is probably a half notch below these areas in terms of stress. Houston, Dallas, Atlanta are all about the same in this regard. These areas are maybe a bit more stressful because they're a bit larger, people are in a bit more of a hurry with long commutes, and more of a transplant-heavy big city mentality. in the next rung, below that is pretty much every other major metro. Some are maybe a bit more friendly/open than others. Example: the Twin Cities is kind of reserved in a way that many people attribute to the general Scandinavian culture (friendly, but reserved).
St. Louis feels a bit more laid back and slow than many other metros in the Midwest to me. The Upper Midwest seems to be a bit more "get up and go" while the southern and mid range metros are a step slower.
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