Where to live for relocated family from Bay Area, CA? (St. Louis: new home, neighborhood)

[rcwolf]

My husband and I moved here in early February and are living in an unincorporated area of Sunset Hills for the moment while we try to decide where to permanently settle our family. There's a lot of things we like about our location, but I'm looking for people that share my values a little more and was trying to get some advice on other places we may want to live.

We like the excellent schools, easy commute to downtown, and friendly people. I hate the smoking, everyone shoving sugar and junk food at my kids at every turn (even the doctor's office!) and the fact that a lot of people have guns in their homes. We come from an area that is health-conscious and sees offering junk food to kids almost as bad as offering a teenager a beer. Please at least ask me first (discreetly so there won't be a fight if I say no.)

Anyway, I miss the California culture with the progressive recycling and environmental programs, a great focus on health in the schools, including almost no one owning a gun or smoking or bringing sugary lunches, and moderate and mellow religious activities. My daughter is being teased for having wheat bread sandwiches while her friends eat Froot Loops for lunch with a side of Ding-Dongs.

That being said, St. Louis has many things that are way better than California in many ways and I really do like it here and want to stay. I hope I haven't offended anyone with my comments. Just going through a bit of culture shock, I guess. I just am looking for a place to live that might share my values a little more closely than where I am now. Illinois? They have anti-smoking laws, don't they? I'd love to find a suburban feeling like place that's not too far from downtown but a bit more progressive. Any suggestions welcome!

[STLCardsBlues1989]

You're not going to get away from guns most likely. I live in a small town and there are probably more guns than people here. Generally around here it's not a problem, because the people know when and how to use guns, and when and how not to use guns.

And religion is a big part of life for people in the Midwest it seems. Of course some places more than others. But that's not going to change. Around St. Louis its Catholics and in Southern Missouri its Baptist and Pentecost.

I realize you want to be comfortable, but if you start demanding things change, people will resent you. You can probably move somewhere a bit more progressive (closer to the city maybe), but some things just don't change. This isn't California.

And St. Louis City has been debating a smoking ban for a while.

[boringmember]

I don't think the Illinois suburbs would be more progressive! It's a whole different vibe here, and I agree that it's hard to get used to. Have you thought about living in the city and sending your kids to private school?

[ToadB]

I used to live in St. Louis and now live in California. In my opinion University City is the place where you would most likely to feel home. It's close to Washington University, has its own farmers market, small but nice main street with shops, bars, restaurants, and a beautifully restored old movie theater. It's also an easy commute to downtown - you wouldn't even have to drive, there is a light railway line to take you there.

[zach_33]

University City is definitely a place where you would feel more at home, though it wouldn't meet all your criteria. The public schools here have some issues. Even though I have some upstanding, well-educated neighbors who have raised awesome children from k-12 in U City public, I have personally opted my children out of them. People still smoke in the bars, but I have a feeling that will be going away soon. It is a progressive group of people who influence city planning here. Our more affluent municipality to the south (Clayton) is supposedly bringing up anti-smoking legislation that has public support this time around. Its just a matter of time. Nothing in the St. Louis metro is comparable to the Bay Area from what I know of it, but you can definitely find your laid-back, environmentally friendly, socially progressive, religiously hands-off niche here in U City. There are other areas in St. Louis that fit the bill, too, particularly in the city, which others can tell you more about.

[aragx6]

We'd really need to know your budget to best suggest areas for you to consider.

Realistically, you're going to get three suggestions -- pricey inner-ring suburb with good public schools, less expensive inner-ring suburb and send your kids to private school or city neighborhood with magnet lottery/private schools.

While those options may end up being pricey, I definitely want you to know that I think you can find what you are looking for in St. Louis. I'm not surprised you didn't find Sunset Hills to your liking, and I don't want you to think SH is necessarily indicative of the entire metro (by that I mean that I grew up in the area and lived in a city with an award-winning commingled recycling program, if any parents had guns I never knew it -- my dad was a cop so we always did, and we were always "Easter/Christmas" Catholics at best).

Will you find the progressive enclaves of the east and west coasts? Nope, but I think, if you share a little more information, we'll be able to find you somewhere you'll be happy.

[rcwolf]

Thanks so much for all your comments. I can't stand city living having grown up in the suburbs and I'm looking for a place with all the kids riding bikes in the front yard. Part of the reason we moved out here was to escape the intolerable traffic of CA. Having driven through Clayton a few times, I don't think I could go there or University City. It took me almost an hour to get home yesterday from Clayton. Considering all the variables, I think SH is not a bad place to have landed. Where we lived before in CA, we had all the social variables but a horrific commute and a median home price of around 900,000, so I think STL and the culture change beats where we're coming from in many respects, but nowhere is perfect, right?

To Aragax6, Kirkwood I know everyone loves and everyone keeps trying to send me there, but it just didn't do it for me. I also got caught in city traffic there for like 15 minutes. I like newer homes, right out of the movies subdivisions with lots of kids. Think Desperate Housewives... My husband and I can barely change a light bulb, so I don't want to worry about things breaking. We don't feel like spending more than around 500K because I don't think you have to around here. We want to be within about 30 mins. of downtown. I love scenery and nature and quiet. I don't want to do private schools because I have three kids which gets very expensive and there are so many wonderful public school systems. I'm thinking with all the things I want, I'm going to have to give somewhere, like SH has all of these things, but perhaps not the culture I'm looking for. Who can really get it all?

All that being said, you Midwesterners are about the nicest, most helpful people I've ever met. I'm a little homesick right now, but I'm not going back. This area is a really nice place to live.

If any other areas come to mind, let me know. Otherwise, I'll just hang out on the street corners in University City and try to make friends. :-)

[wustu87]

How about U City's next door neighbor, Olivette? Personally, I don't like teardowns, but for folks like yourselves who want a newer home in a closer in and desirable area, that allows for a "best of both worlds" situation. In Olivette $500K will be on the low end of newer construction, but if you could go closer to $600K you can find some nice new construction in the Indian Meadows area (north of Olive). So you could have a newer home in Ladue schools in an area very close to 170 for access to Clayton. And I am guessing people on average in Olivette would be just as "progressive" (if not more so) than folks in Sunset Hills, although I am not too familiar with Sunset Hills myself. I will have to admit you can most likely buy a much larger new home in SH than you can in Olivette for the same price, but Olivette is actually more affordable for newer construction than many other close in areas (Brentwood, Richmond Heights, Ladue proper.)

As for not spending more than $500K because you think you "don't have to around here", well, perhaps you do have to if you want 1) a newer home in 2) a top school district in a 3) progressive, convenient neighborhood. If you can make do with any 2 of the 3, I think you can find it for around $500K, but wanting all three makes it difficult. I think you already found 1 & 2 in Sunset Hills, 1 & 3 could be newer construction in U.City (like University Place), and for 2 & 3 you could find older homes in eastern Ladue, Richmond Heights or Brentwood, all for under $500K.

[zach_33]

I heard it said once by a local that it takes "about a half hour" to get from anywhere to anywhere in St. Louis. Obviously, this is not a fact, but has some uncanny truthiness to me. Have you considered Creve Coeur or possibly even Chesterfield? Chesterfield certainly pushes to the max your 30 minute rule for a commute to downtown, but you could do nicely on the suburban home that looks like its right out of the movies with lots of kids. Culuturally, I believe you would find either of those communities to more progressive feeling than Sunset Hills. People still might push sugary snacks on your kids but you will have fewer card carrying NRA members

[Book Lover 21]

Well, stay out of Illinois because we don't want your kind over here. (just kidding!) As a recent NorCal transplant myself, I understand a lot of what you are saying. However, I'm from the other side, I love the gun and sugar culture!

But, yes, it's true, no smoking in IL restaurants. That's what did it for my husband. That was how we chose O'Fallon and have been very happy here. Love the school districts. But the proximity to the Air Force base would probably give you the creeps. I imagine ALL my neighbors are gun owners.