racism and bi-racial couples (St. Louis, Clayton: school districts, university, camping)

[bilbobilbo]

I may be moving to STL.
My girlfriend is hesitant because I'm white, she's asian, and with what we've heard about the latent racism and racial tensions in STL, and the separation along racial lines I've witnessed during a short trip there, she doesn't know how confortable she would feel there alone and together as a couple.

We're now living in the northwest and this is not an issue. She grew up in the south where it was an issue for her.

Please give me your thoughts, is she likely to be discriminated against? are we as a couple, going to be targetted by racist comments and attitudes? what about our kids?

thanks.

[Orwelleaut]

With you being White and her Asian, my guess would be that you guys will be fine. If you guys are both younger and both well educated and well spoken, I wouldn't think you guys would encounter any "latent disapproval", if you will, or especially out and out bigotry, from most people. The reputation of Asians being exemplary citizens would, I would think, negate any disapproval from most white Americans. I would have to wonder if some Asians, though, might not want to see one of their own dating a white person, especially older Asians. I don't know anything about this, but I would wonder if some older Asians, out of intense pride in their culture, might have a bias that Asians should only be dating Asians. This was the bias of older European immigrants, and frequently meant dating within your own nationality.

I mention the age and education issue as there is a contigent in our country of older white males, usually blue collar types, who are married to young Asian women whom they have met as mail order brides. We're talking an oldish male with an obviously younger Asian wife who has a thick accent, and acts very submissive toward her older husband. Such couples must receive quizzical looks in this day and age.

[wustu87]

Mixed Caucasian/Asian families are actually fairly common in Mid-County to West County, and the typical preconceived questions you hear from those who like to stereotype people are "What hospital or university do you work at?" or "Do you live in Clayton or in Ladue?" People will assume your kids are gifted in math and music and will ask what instrument they play. We've been through it and have heard them all. Positive stereotypes are still stereotypes, but at least people are not afraid to sit next to you on the Metrolink.

As for kids, they may be curious at first, but depending on the district they typically soon learn all about different mixed race families. Definitely in school districts like Clayton, Ladue, Brentwood or Parkway where many mixed Asian/Caucasian families live, it is not so much of an issue due to the diversity of the student body.

[Fishtacos]

Originally Posted by bilbobilbo

I may be moving to STL.
My girlfriend is hesitant because I'm white, she's asian, and with what we've heard about the latent racism and racial tensions in STL, and the separation along racial lines I've witnessed during a short trip there, she doesn't know how confortable she would feel there alone and together as a couple.

We're now living in the northwest and this is not an issue. She grew up in the south where it was an issue for her.

Please give me your thoughts, is she likely to be discriminated against? are we as a couple, going to be targetted by racist comments and attitudes? what about our kids?

thanks.

It was never a problem for me. It's common in the area, not as common as the Pacific Northwest, mostly because the Asian population isn't as high. I'm sure one could always find isolated cases of ignorance in any place. But that would be just that, isolated.

[STL4eva]

Please give me your thoughts, is she likely to be discriminated against? are we as a couple, going to be targetted by racist comments and attitudes? what about our kids?

Speaking as someone who grew up in STL and had a bi-racial relationship (I am a white male and date a black female there), you will be just fine if you stay out of South County and the blue collar portion of South City.

[aragx6]

My SO is Filipino (though most people, at least in Chicago, tend to think he's Mexican) and we've never experienced any sort of racism from anyone in St. Louis city or the metro at large.

We have experienced problems when camping in the Ozarks. Nothing violent, but definitely some very uncomfortable stares/ pull their children closer to them sort of things (and I'm white so I never notice that kind of thing!)