St. Louis mentality vs. East and WestCoast (Chesterfield, University City: apartment, how much)

[cafepithecus]

I grew up in the St. Louis area - a small, more rural town that I hated. I can't stand small-town mentalities anywhere, really. Even just talking to my parents sometimes I just want to scream "Who the $*($#)* cares what so-and-so said or did???"

At 18, I moved to a part of Virginia that I would consider more stereotypically "East Coast" than South, as far as mentality. Long story short, I know I don't want to be here. Where to go? I love DC, but the mentality up there (and in all the cities up north) tends to be rush rush rush, type A, materialistic, snobby, rude, everything is about how much money you make, what car you drive, what your apartment is like - that gets old. And I know not everyone is like that, but I'm speaking in general terms here. Also, the population tends to be very transient, which is one of my issues with where I am now.

The West Coast appeals to me because it's very laidback, progressive, liberal, and chill (and new - never even visited there) - but me being a type A by nature... I think that laidback mentality might drive me insane after awhile.

Is it correct to consider the Midwest and St. Louis (not the rural areas surrounding it) a sort of balance between the two? I know the pace is slower than the East Coast, and the people are a lot more friendly. I've also heard St. Louis described as a big city with a small-town mentality, which kinda scares me. I don't want to be in a huge, anonymous city, but I don't want to be surrounded by a small-town mentality, either.

Just interested to hear some opinions on this.

[bissit]

Let me just speak to your assumption about the West Coast: It is NOT laid back and liberal. Sure we have liberals, but we have a lot of conservatives too. In my area, Sonoma County - people would think that we wear Birkenstocks and eat granola but this area had a higher turnout for McCain than STL! We are aggressive drivers, we are cutthroat in the workplace, and we are all under a great deal of economic stress. I cannot speak to other areas but my family that has moved from CA to STL recently feel that their new area is far more "laid back" and family-oriented. Also - West Coast has two distinct areas: LA and Nor Cal. They are NOT the same. Please, do not make assumptions about areas you have not visited. CA is incredibly diverse but liberal - well look how the voters stripped away gay rights. Not very progressive.

[Todd.LA]

Originally Posted by bissit

Let me just speak to your assumption about the West Coast: It is NOT laid back and liberal. Sure we have liberals, but we have a lot of conservatives too. In my area, Sonoma County - people would think that we wear Birkenstocks and eat granola but this area had a higher turnout for McCain than STL! We are aggressive drivers, we are cutthroat in the workplace, and we are all under a great deal of economic stress. I cannot speak to other areas but my family that has moved from CA to STL recently feel that their new area is far more "laid back" and family-oriented. Also - West Coast has two distinct areas: LA and Nor Cal. They are NOT the same. Please, do not make assumptions about areas you have not visited. CA is incredibly diverse but liberal - well look how the voters stripped away gay rights. Not very progressive.

I'd add the Pacific Northwest (Oregon and Washington) as a third distinct area of the west coast, though it's more similar to NorCal than LA. I'm from there originally, and we do get rather annoyed when Californians think that California comprises the entire west coast, but I digress...

The large cities on the west coast (LA, SF, Seattle, Portland, and even San Diego) are all quite liberal, and your general stereotype is true in that regard (though, as bissit stated, the rural areas are more conservative, as is the case everywhere). Because the cities are more populous than the rural areas, liberal / Democratic politics dominate all three west coast states on the state wide level.

The Pacific Northwest tends to be the most laid back. And, NorCal tends to be more laid back than LA. Spend one day commuting in LA and you will be quickly disabused of the notion that all west coasters are "laid back." Anyway, I wouldn't avoid the west coast merely because you fear not fitting in with a type A personality. Come visit and see if you like it.

One thing I like about California is that it's a very diverse place, with lots of people who come from all over the world and all over the US to live here. It's definitely not the kind of place where everyone grew up here. In my circle of friends, I can only think of a handful of LA natives. From what I understand about St. Louis, this a pretty major difference. As a whole though, I would say West Coasters are not the most friendly folks on earth, and it can be hard to make new friends right away when you first move out here.

[STL4eva]

OK, as someone who grew up in STL and now resides in AZ (which has been heavily Californicated over the past several years but is still decent), allow me to explain:

If you dislike a "materialistic, snobby, rude, everything is about how much money you make, what car you drive, what your apartment is like," avoid Huntleigh, Chesterfield, Ladue, Town and Country and some of Clayton. Also, avoid South County's elititst attitude with no justification ("Country Pride," I believe?)

If you dislike the "small-town" attitude (i.e. reactionary, close-minded, paranoid, etc.), the majority of the entire area is encumbered by this disorder. Hence the "Where'd you go to high school?" "What Parish are you in?" and other deep, relevant questions.

Your best bets for a balance of a vibrant, active scene w/o the small-minded B.S. - University City. The Central West End. Lafayette Square. Parts of Clayton. The non-ghetto portions of Soulard and Tower Grove.

Good Luck.

[OyCrumbler]

I feel Denver might be closer to a balance.

[OA 5599]

Originally Posted by OyCrumbler

I feel Denver might be closer to a balance.

Meh...Denver is all about how many 14k peaks you've summited, or the craziest stunt you've done on a snowboard.

DC is all about the status of your career, how much money you make, and what you are wearing.

Rural areas across the country are about how big of a deer you killed or how large the tires on your truck are.

Austin, TX...where I just came from...is all about where you buy your organic produce, if you drink fair trade coffee or not, and if you know who the trendiest new indie bands are.

My point is, if you are wanting to escape a status-based culture, you aren't going to be able to do it. Some people are going to judge you on various "status" things no matter where you are living...what you are "judged" on simply changes depending on the culture of where you are located. Its all part of human nature. Luckily, not everyone in the areas I mentioned are like that, and I'm sure you can find down-to-earth people everywhere. In fact, I believe the vast majority of people in those places aren't like I just stereotyped them to be.

Although, I do think you might like Austin, TX. Smaller city, generally friendly people, but it does not feel like a small town. Jobs are currently available, but becoming more scarce as Austin keeps popping up on "best place for employment" lists and even MORE people keep moving there. The city has a cool vibe though. I think St. Louis is more laid back and down to earth, however, and am excited to be moving there in August. Although, I'm wondering how long it will take before I get asked the "what high school did you go do?" question

[Fishtacos]

My friend who liked his high school just tells people he was home schooled, and that pretty much ends that question right there.

[Todd.LA]

Originally Posted by OA 5599

Although, I'm wondering how long it will take before I get asked the "what high school did you go do?" question

I actually got that question during a job interview, which struck me as a bit odd, given that I'd already indicated I was not from the area. Having read some of the threads on here, I now recognize it's a "St. Louis thing." In any case I got the job and am moving to St. Louis...

[OA 5599]

Originally Posted by Todd.LA

I actually got that question during a job interview, which struck me as a bit odd, given that I'd already indicated I was not from the area. Having read some of the threads on here, I now recognize it's a "St. Louis thing." In any case I got the job and am moving to St. Louis...

I didn't get the high school question while interviewing, but I did get "Are you married?" (I'm 24). Interestingly enough, most of the people I spoke with at my future employer weren't from St. Louis originally...they were from the neighboring states, the rest of Missouri, and even the coasts.

[zach_33]

wow. I don't work in HR but I am pretty sure asking a candidate their marital status is a legal no-no.