Why can't anyone be happy for us ? (Miami, Tampa: new home, moving)

[seain dublin]

Originally Posted by cjrudy

Wrong, the primary reason for the party was my daughters HS graduation and my sons College graduation.

Nice try !

Regardless, you invited people over you knew give you grief. I already said you could have limited your celebration to a nice dinner out and included a couple of people who wish you well.

You decided to have a gathering(doesn't matter the reason) and included people who I would categorize as "toxic", than you act surprised and annoyed that they display the same behavior.

That's on you, not them.

You want them to react in a way that they're not going to.

You can't change them, but what you can change is how much contact you have. Lesson #1, you don't include them in a social gathering.

Kind of like inviting the uncle over who gets sloppy drunk and acts like a jerk, you know he does this, you invite him over, supply liquor at the event, and than act all offended when he does his normal behavior.

Again, that's on you.

Look at it this way, you can now put some geographical distance between you.

[BucFan]

Originally Posted by Spring Hillian

Family should offer support and understanding when a relative is making a major life change. Whether its buying a house, getting a heart transplant or relocating the family should be with you and not against you.

Up to a point. If the relative is continuously downgrading where I've decided to stay (ie Buffalo), I'd probably get a little irritated when I've heard for the umpteenth time how it will be great to get out of the snow during the winter.....OP probably didn't recognize that these folks eyes were glazing over when he continuously talked about his move to FLA ad nauseum.

[ApolloBeachRetiree]

Regardless of all the comments, cjrudy and his family have made a choice to move here. We should do all we can to help them and to make them welcome.

[Irishiis49]

It's times like these that you find out who your true friends and supportive family members are...what's that old quote..."when someone shows you who they are...believe them"...sorry ...but on a happier note...Welcome to Florida!!!!

[justNancy]

Originally Posted by cjrudy

As we enter our last week in Buffalo before my son, daughter and I join my wife in Tampa, its become even more crystal clear that no one, including friends and family are truly happy for us.

You aren't being specific. If they're friends, they must be telling you why they're not excited for you. What is the reason they are concerned?

Originally Posted by cjrudy

We have been listening to the comments for months but this weekend it continued. We had a party to celebrate our daughters HS graduation, sons college graduation and our move. My wife came back into town for the party, the first time she had been back since March, yet the snarky comments continued.

Even those that say "Good Luck" have to follow up with "I hope it works out"

Why are they saying this? Do you have a job in Florida? "Good luck" and "I hope t works out" don't sound too negative to me. Do they also add "We'll miss you?"

Originally Posted by cjrudy

Then there's "My neighbor moved to Florida last year and hates it"

Or the popular "You know its hot in Florida" "There's bugs in Florida", "It rains a lot in Florida", "Traffics bad in Florida"............WTF people, enough

All of this is true. It's hot in Florida and there are lots of bugs here. It also rains a lot, especially in the summer. So what? It snows a lot in the winter in New York. I don't view comments about the weather or bugs as negative, especially if they're coming from close friends and family. However, if you've already made your decision, they should be supportive and start focusing on the positive.

Originally Posted by cjrudy

My mother - law has been one of the worst, never supporting us from the beginning and of course it continued at the party. My wife was talking to a friend and made the comment "we'll be living the dream" . My mother in law sitting a few feet away, stood up, threw her hands in the air and said " I cant listen to this talk anymore" and stormed off.

Okay, so you are moving your family far away from your mother-in-law who probably loves her grandchildren. Did you tell her she is always welcome whenever she wants to visit? Has she been otherwise supportive or is this the only subject you've disagreed on? Just asking. If you've never gotten along, then you shouldn't expect too much from her. Just shrug it off and be happy you'll be far way!

Originally Posted by cjrudy

Then the constant family insinuations that we're trying to "Get Out" , whatever that means.


Anyways thanks for letting me vent, I don't understand why people just cant be happy for us.

In the end, it is none of their business. I heard the same thing. Some people thought I was running away from someone or something. No. I just needed a change. So when someone asks "Why did you pack up and move to Florida?" the answer is simple. "It's my life."

Moving to Florida will definitely not solve your problems, if that's why you're moving. Wherever you go, they will follow you, but starting fresh is sometimes the best remedy. I don't know why you are hearing so many negative remarks. There has to be more to this story. If not, then ignore them and enjoy your new venture!!

[cjrudy]

Originally Posted by BucFan

Up to a point. If the relative is continuously downgrading where I've decided to stay (ie Buffalo), I'd probably get a little irritated when I've heard for the umpteenth time how it will be great to get out of the snow during the winter.....OP probably didn't recognize that these folks eyes were glazing over when he continuously talked about his move to FLA ad nauseum.

Never downgraded Buffalo, I already told you that, how convenient that you never respond to my responses , yet continue to attack.

[DUNNDFRNT]

I haven't read the whole thread but after reading some I think the title should be "why can't everyone be happy for us?".

[cjrudy]

Originally Posted by ApolloBeachRetiree

Regardless of all the comments, cjrudy and his family have made a choice to move here. We should do all we can to help them and to make them welcome.

Thanks Apollo

[cjrudy]

Originally Posted by Irishiis49

It's times like these that you find out who your true friends and supportive family members are...what's that old quote..."when someone shows you who they are...believe them"...sorry ...but on a happier note...Welcome to Florida!!!!

Thanks Irish

[StreetSmarts]

I didnt read all the comments, but its probably a combination of them missing you, maybe they truly dislike FL and think you will not like it either, or perhaps they want out of Buffalo too and would like to live in FL.