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I used to go out for happy hour with colleagues, but I soon realized that it was just a time to exchange gossip, and it became a "he said, she said" time. No thanks, I can buy wine at the grocery store and drink it in my pajamas!
No. If I was in my 20's, maybe, if there were a cohort of similar age colleagues. As it is, at nearly 60 the last place I want to hang out in would be a bar. My observation only is that younger people in almost any job are the ones who do the happy hours and aoutside of work related socializing.
Teachers also, as a rule, are gossipy, vindictive, self aggrandizing individuals who will stab another in the back for a better schedule.
How do I know? It's happened to me.
The school where I worked before I was illegally terminated by the principal had a clique of female teachers who had this in common: they were young, married mothers with little kids. This clique, which was made up of second-grade teachers, sixth-grade teachers, and the speech pathologist, were known for mobbing behavior against other colleagues. The principal used these people as her "useful idiots" who would do her dirty work while she would gallivant from one conference to another or stay holed up in her office pretending to be above the fray. The speech pathologist was absolutely crazy; there is just no other word to describe her, and she butted heads with me all the time. She had some kind of mood disorder, I am sure. She would just go off on me at PLCs for no reason for all and at other times would actually visibly shake with rage and not say anything. She even got so angry at me over IEP scheduling she literally gave me the silent treatment and never spoke to me again. Totally immature and unprofessional. I was something like 25 years her senior, and I was treated like crap. I had never done anything to deserve that kind of treatment but of course I didn't fit in with this clique (never tried to, never had anything in common with them). She was more than happy to cooperate with the principal to lie and character assassinate me at my joke of a termination hearing several years ago. No conscience at all.
The clique eventually broke up on campus because most of the teachers moved to other schools or quit (though they are still friends), and the principal who fired me has been bounced from school to school to school because she messed up with me and was "disciplined" but should have lost her career at that district. She is on her fourth position in five years there.
I hang out with people with whom I've got a lot in common and with whom I share a genuine bond of respect. That encompasses a few coworkers (not all, not by a long shot). There are a few I might go to dinner with a couple of times a year. But, no, I don't have a gaggle of "besties" at my workplace, nor do I aspire to. I work with some teachers who do operate that way, and what I see happen with that is that the workplace starts to become more about planning socialization opportunities than focusing on teaching/students. When I'm at school, I focus on the students. When I'm out having dinner with friends, I focus on being out having dinner with friends. Sometimes the people I'm having dinner with are friends I met via work.
I feel sorry for the people that have had bad experiences with their colleagues. The school I worked at for 6 years was a great experience. Our junior high team worked together and hung out after work as well. It allowed us to bond and gain trust in each other. Even though I moved across the country all these colleagues remain friends to this day.
I socialize with SOME of my colleagues quite a bit. Two of the women and one of the guys are some of my best friends. We regularly do things outside of school hours.
This summer we will go camping, today we went out for lunch, that kind of stuff.
A lot of my lifelong friends were colleagues from several schools in which we worked together. We fly to meet, hike, camp, visit at each other's homes and are dear, dear friends.
I've been in 4 different schools now and found them all to be cliquish in the extreme. I have yet to feel welcomed...had to make my own friendly gestures in all four schools. Don't get me wrong, I've made friendly acquaintences, but not to socialize with outside of work.
I would love to work in a school where I felt I could get to know people personally, be very congenial and supportive at work, and MAYBE choose to socialize with a select few outside of work. But hanging out in a bar after work is not my thing, either, and I do feel left out when I hear others have done it without including be. Don't they know how not to exclude people?
There is no real ''rule''here, because everyone is different. Normally, better to not... But, I have made some lifelong best friends who were co workers. But, those were few and far between.
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