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Old 09-06-2013, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,757,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zthatzmanz28 View Post
Hopefully it is 100% innocent and just a young boy being normal. The documentation will only protect you and him IF anything goes south or even if a third party (another student) starts spreading rumors based on hearsay.

I was lucky. At one point the accuser had 15 other students making allegations. Once the numbers of accusers reached 30-40 the authorities started questioning how it was possible that 40 students never said a word prior to this going public. That and the fact most of the students were saying the inappropriate behavors all happened on the same 2-3 days. They reasoned I would have had them lined up and just walk down the line to touch all 40 of them.
And this was in a psychiatric hospital where most of the students were medicated...
To this day I am NEVER alone in a room with any student at any time.
What a nightmare! I shudder to think of it, esp after my experience at the last school when someone really did do that. To this day, people turn green to speak of her but this one left a trail a mile wide--she had slept with at least 3 teachers besides and got caught practically redhanded and I doubt any of us could ever talk to her again. My question to you is this: did your co-workers support you in this or were left alone with it? How long did it take admin to figure out the kids were lying? That's just a sickening situation.
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Old 09-06-2013, 06:12 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,114 posts, read 60,226,663 times
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It's been years since I've had a student hit on me, I've sort of aged out. Still have the occasional mother who does, though. I also look 10 or 15 years younger than I am.
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Old 09-06-2013, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,757,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
It's been years since I've had a student hit on me, I've sort of aged out. Still have the occasional mother who does, though. I also look 10 or 15 years younger than I am.
Well I'm 54 and I do not look younger than my age so I don't think this has much to do with looks, and yet I've had two in the past 4 years. I'm a little on the busty side so that could be part of it but I had a convo with the middle school teacher who had him last year and she said she even stopped wearing make-up or form fitting shirts and just basically let herself go b/c of him but we should not have to stop being ourselves, as long as we're not overly sexy dressing (and we're not). Gosh how old do I have to get? LOL, I want to be attractive to the opposite sex but not anyone under 30.
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Old 09-07-2013, 11:44 AM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,114 posts, read 60,226,663 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
Well I'm 54 and I do not look younger than my age so I don't think this has much to do with looks, and yet I've had two in the past 4 years. I'm a little on the busty side so that could be part of it but I had a convo with the middle school teacher who had him last year and she said she even stopped wearing make-up or form fitting shirts and just basically let herself go b/c of him but we should not have to stop being ourselves, as long as we're not overly sexy dressing (and we're not). Gosh how old do I have to get? LOL, I want to be attractive to the opposite sex but not anyone under 30.
Well yeah. You're talking teen aged boys. How little?
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Old 09-07-2013, 12:22 PM
 
Location: On the brink of WWIII
21,088 posts, read 29,142,569 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
What a nightmare! I shudder to think of it, esp after my experience at the last school when someone really did do that. To this day, people turn green to speak of her but this one left a trail a mile wide--she had slept with at least 3 teachers besides and got caught practically redhanded and I doubt any of us could ever talk to her again. My question to you is this: did your co-workers support you in this or were left alone with it? How long did it take admin to figure out the kids were lying? That's just a sickening situation.

6 months. And only then because I asked if they had bothered to talk with the youth specialist who is ALWAYS in my room. They looked shocked and said--YOU HAD ANOTHER ADULT IN YOUR ROOM EVERYDAY? WHY DID YOU TELL US?

Because admin were the ones who ASSIGNED the adult to my room....
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Old 09-07-2013, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,757,242 times
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Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
Well yeah. You're talking teen aged boys. How little?
OK here's the thing. I don't feel the need for breast reduction surgery and that's neither here nor there anyway b/c I've got to work with what I've got, no pun intended, and why should I have to go find another career b/c I have boobs? It's no excuse--can you imagine how they would deal with your boss if he used the excuse that he sexually harassed you b/c of your bra size? I do not show cleavage so that can't be the problem. At my age I can't even get a date with a man my own age so why is a 14 yo hitting on me? Oh yeah, probably because he watches too much porno and figured it would be easy.
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Old 09-07-2013, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,757,242 times
Reputation: 15643
Quote:
Originally Posted by zthatzmanz28 View Post
6 months. And only then because I asked if they had bothered to talk with the youth specialist who is ALWAYS in my room. They looked shocked and said--YOU HAD ANOTHER ADULT IN YOUR ROOM EVERYDAY? WHY DID YOU TELL US?

Because admin were the ones who ASSIGNED the adult to my room....
Well I'm dying to hear the rest of the story. I have so many questions but do you mind telling more or is it too painful? I'm hoping that you at least got an abject letter of apology but I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't. You know, there was someone on here a couple to three of years ago that said this was happening to her husband and they didn't know what to do. That wasn't your wife was it?
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Old 09-07-2013, 01:51 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,114 posts, read 60,226,663 times
Reputation: 60714
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
OK here's the thing. I don't feel the need for breast reduction surgery and that's neither here nor there anyway b/c I've got to work with what I've got, no pun intended, and why should I have to go find another career b/c I have boobs? It's no excuse--can you imagine how they would deal with your boss if he used the excuse that he sexually harassed you b/c of your bra size? I do not show cleavage so that can't be the problem. At my age I can't even get a date with a man my own age so why is a 14 yo hitting on me? Oh yeah, probably because he watches too much porno and figured it would be easy.
I never wear a bra. Mostly because I'm a man.

Something in teenage boys' brains is cross wired is all can offer. It also depends the school and its area. In my experience only, I've found kids who are raised by a single mother are bolder across the board than kids from two parent households. One of my students many years ago described it for me as "the Dad look". She recognized it, many of her classmates didn't.

In reality my system struggles with sexual harassment issues among administrators and has never really gotten a handle on it. Every year several stories of administrators having problems with harassment surface, from dating multiple teachers on the staff (and impregnanting one of them, that was interesting to watch unfold, especially when two of them got into a fight at school) to intensively observing teachers who refuse advances.
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Old 09-07-2013, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,757,242 times
Reputation: 15643
OK, here's a story about this and it happened at my last school--a school big enough to have 4 Asst Principals. One of them was new that year--a tall attractive woman. She immediately set in to flirting with another one of the principals, a married man. I have no idea how far it went and don't really care, but where we crossed wires one day is when she tried to pull a student of mine into it.

The girl was quite low and didn't know how to respond appropriately to social greetings and I was really working with her on that. I was getting annoyed with co-workers who would play with her and tease; they did it because her responses were so cute and comical. I had already had a talk with a TA that week and was really trying to make the point that we were there to teach her and not to entertain ourselves. Still that was nothing compared to what came up with the principal.

As we were coming out of the cafeteria one day the woman called her over and started to tease her and then said, "Hey Cathy, go over there and tell Mr. S. that he's Hawt!" Believe me, I had her out of there so fast it burned trails in the linoleum b/c the girl's mother was already out to sue the school! Yes I reported that and to be fair, she never tried to get even with me over it and I even advanced into a better job a couple of years later at that same school but then maybe she realized she was on thin ice and I hear she's on thin ice again.
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Old 09-07-2013, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,757,242 times
Reputation: 15643
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
I never wear a bra. Mostly because I'm a man.

Something in teenage boys' brains is cross wired is all can offer. It also depends the school and its area. In my experience only, I've found kids who are raised by a single mother are bolder across the board than kids from two parent households. One of my students many years ago described it for me as "the Dad look". She recognized it, many of her classmates didn't.
LOL on the man part--not just talking to you you know!

Absolutely I know this about teenage boys and hence my comment about why these dumb gals who sleep with them are flattering themselves, when in fact it probably has little to do with the woman's attractiveness. Truth is at that age they will tap just about anything.
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