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The point is I go by the law and the handbook. No handbook is going to have a set of rules I need to follow for being a man.
You hug one of those boys and he tells his parents about it and how uncomfortable it made him, the law and the handbook aren't going to matter. At best, your career will be over. There is a worst in there, by the way, that includes jail. Telling them "But, Mrs. Teacher hugged him too!" won't make a bit of difference.
Yeah, that is over the top, but it could be reality.
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They're going to have a code of conduct and ethics for employees, though. You're not an employee. You may not have seen one (although, as a student teacher, you should have been given one).
The point is if that is policy, my CT openly admits to violating it.
I've personally seen few schools that go to that extreme though. Physical touch is part of human interaction and it is seen all the time between students and teachers. Just today a teacher was trying to get a student's attention and she tapped his upper back. Nobody makes a big deal out of that or at least I've yet to see it. I actually have rarely hugged unless a student has I itiated it or implied that they appreciate it.
OP, really, I'm curious about what you feel is being "done" to you.
You're not a teacher. You're not a school district employee. Worst case scenario, if something went wrong, you would be removed from your practicum and either dropped from the program or be made to repeat it in a different setting. I have seen the most awful student teachers complete their practicum, though.
You said you've been student teaching only three weeks, and "everyone" is "on your ass all the time." What does this mean? Have you been threatened with losing your position/having to withdraw from the program? Have allegations of impropriety been made? Have you been accused of anything? Or have the people who have been tasked with professionally mentoring and advising you simply offered critical feedback? Because that's their role...to observe what you are doing, and give you feedback on things you will probably need to give attention to/change, as well as affirming things you are doing well. The nature of learning to become a teacher is that people will observe what you do, critique it, and offer suggestions for improving your approach. How you respond to feedback is going to play a prominent role in your evaluation for completing the practicum. It's also going to come into play in virtually any job you are ever going to hold.
Personal life is a broad term to me. Does that mean I can't tell them whether I live in a house or apartment, if I have pets, that I like to perform in theatre, where I'm from?
Really, there isn't any reason for you to, no. Not unless it is relevant to some lesson. However, you might just consider the old dinner conversation rule - no sex, politics, or religion. Nothing even vaguely related to those things, from whether or not you are married to who you voted for or if you've ever been to church. But in K-12 there really is no reason for you to ever talk about anything outside of school, from your pet to your partner.
Give me a break. You should be extremely vague about where you live (I have never had a student ask if I lived in an apartment or house). As for the rest... Do you not understand that you aren't their friend? Yes, I have occasionally discussed something about my dogs with the kids, but not every year. To my recollection, I've never had one ask where I was from. I don't think I have ever discussed my hobbies with the kids. I do have to confess to posting my NCAA brackets every year.
Here's the bottom line - you are expected to care about what goes on in their lives and make an effort to get to know them. They are expected to not find out anything about yours and therefore assume you have no life outside of school.
Yep, that's about it. As far as they know, you should be completely uninteresting as a human being. It sounds strange, but it's how it is, and for most teachers I think that is just being professional and not really all that difficult to do.
The point is if that is policy, my CT openly admits to violating it.
You don't have to worry about her coming under the gun for it, though, that's on her. You do have to worry about it yourself. For the record, I think your cooperating teacher is very foolish (as well as being a poor mentoring teacher if she's espousing a "do as I say, not as I do" policy and not modeling appropriate professional conduct), but that's neither here nor there.
You can be mad that double standards exist. Doesn't make them not exist. Won't make them stop existing.
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I've personally seen few schools that go to that extreme though. Physical touch is part of human interaction and it is seen all the time between students and teachers. Just today a teacher was trying to get a student's attention and she tapped his upper back. Nobody makes a big deal out of that or at least I've yet to see it. I actually have rarely hugged unless a student has I itiated it or implied that they appreciate it.
How many schools have you worked in as a credentialed professional?
EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL I HAVE EVER WORKED IN, early childhood to K-12, has legal language in its guidelines for professional conduct addressing, among other things, appropriate touch. It's to protect professionals as well as students. In pre-k and early elementary, as well as in various situations specific to special education, physical prompts are appropriate and necessary, but they, too are very expressly spelled out and defined. If a touch is not educationally necessary (ex. a special education student who requires hand-over-hand assistance to complete gross and fine motor skills objectives), or is not ethically mandated in order to keep a student/students safe, it's not necessary.
Assuming no special needs specific to various sensory perception issues, a teacher should not need to touch a student to obtain his or her attention. Will you see teachers tap students on the shoulder? Probably. But I wouldn't do it.
The thing about physical contact with students is that nobody makes a big deal about it...until somebody makes a big deal about it.
I would also be VERY careful about "implied that they appreciate it." VERY careful. As in "not a good idea at all, whatsoever." Just don't hug students, unless you are working in ECE (and your center is cool with it). Again, you can establish rapport and positive teacher-student relationships without physical interactions, and should.
Again, no teacher of any gender/sexual orientation/etc. should be physically embracing middle school students in a show of affection.
It is not necessary contact for a teacher to have with a student. It doesn't matter if you are a man, woman, whatever.
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