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Old 02-27-2008, 10:33 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
285 posts, read 785,312 times
Reputation: 234

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[quote=Dbledeez;2958927] With further inspection, it becomes evident why no one listens to you or responds to your letters. They are biased, uninformative, and inherently flawed. Devise a well documented and onjectively based report and someone might actually listen. Though I doubt it.

No one responds to me or my letters? You certainly did, and I thank you.

 
Old 02-27-2008, 01:45 PM
 
Location: San Fernando Valley, CA
1,719 posts, read 4,662,154 times
Reputation: 744
Quote:
Originally Posted by tkdmom View Post
I strongly disagree...bullying, hitting, threatening physical violence, and taunting are not a right of every child to be owned and worked out....thats delusional, and unfortunately it's an attitude shared by a lot of people.

If someone walking down the street, or your neighbor, where threatening to kill you b/c they didn't like something about you, would you say, "oh well, we can work it out", or would you call the police. If as an adult you wouldn't want to deal with that kind of threat why would you think it's ok for a child to do so.
I agree with you. While I can see how "growing up and learning how to deal with it on my own" might help. What if I was a lil off? What if I needed someone to talk to and didn't have a great father who had me involved with sports? I NEVER talked about being bullied. I felt as a young boy my father would think I was a wuss, as he was tough on me in sports being my coach.
Had I been a lil "off" and no sports to let my pain out, I could have possibly let my "pain" out through a gun. Not that my dad has any guns. But, maybe that is what these kids excuses are??? Or reasons?

So saying "deal with it, it's a part of life" is the same thing as the teacher who told me "oh why don't you just go jump in a river"....lol.
Pretty sad IMO
 
Old 02-27-2008, 05:11 PM
 
Location: In the sticks of Illinois
499 posts, read 1,027,552 times
Reputation: 162
Smile Unite

WoW!! THis is really ugly! I am on both sides as well. I sometimes agree with the teacher and sometimes I agree with the kid. Lots of different situations. There are always two sides to a story.
When my sweet innocent little 5 year old had to ride a bus for 45 min.there and 45 min. home,he encountered a 250pd. senior, whose father is a State Cop and his father before him. Well this big boy kept hurting my little guy by elbowing him in the stomach, pulling his hair, taking his things, etc. My baby didn't tell me until he came home in tears. HE told me when he got home, that the big boy on the bus wouldn't quit hurting him. I called the school and the bus. Nobody cared. I asked them if he could sit closer to the front because they always made him sit in the back with the big boys.They said no. The boy kept doing it. The bus driver would not let me on the bus. I didn't know what else to do. First time mom. So I told my little guy, the next time he hurts you, you make a fist and hit him right in the mouth. He did. THe big boy went crying to the principal with a bloody lip that day off the bus. That wasn't enough, the principal told two of the senior boys to bring my child to him. My son was carried and harrassed to no end by these two. They ripped my sons winter coat and they had him up where his feet could not touch the ground. Oh, I can't even tell you what kind of an anger I was feeling that day. I went to the principals office the next morning and threatened him with his job and if that wasn't enough, than it could become personal. Just sitting here remembering all of this has brought me to tears.
This year we have had a go round with a History teacher who adores my child, was having a bad day or something. She had been picking at him all that week because they were playing a buzzer game, where you buzz in if you know the answer. Well, my child did almost all of them and it ticked her off, because he doesn't seem to pay attention in class so much, but he could whoop out any of the tests or pop quizes and he would ace them. Now, instead of rewarding him with this game she told him that if he answered one more that she was going to fail him.He had a high b at the time. He must have given some weird response, because then she proceeded to call him a retard. Oh NO that was not going to fly with my son. There is a special education class right close to this history class. My son was appalled. HE was truly upset. He came home all out of sorts. I called a meeting with the Stuperintendant,Principal,school counselor, and the nasty hygene, hair dyed coal black, eats all day in class, lying teacher. BUt before we could all get together, the school counselor and I decided it would be best if he stayed out her class that day and just stay with the counselor until his next class, and until we could get to the bottom of this.Guess what shows up to the counselors office? One of the aide students delivering a detention from this teacher. The detention said for "lying about a teacher". The counselor had my son take it to the office and show the principal and see if she could do that. He showed her(the principal) and asked her if that teacher could do that? ABSOLUTELY she says. Oh we went rounds. The teacher got up and walked out crying within 5 min. of the meeting starting. Then the principal did the same thing. I was ecstatic. I told our dumb superintendant to get them back in there. That is why I was there. He did and would not make them come back in. So I chewed on him instead. He had already set in his mind that he was gonna back that teacher no matter what and he did. We still fight over it and other things to this day.

At the board meeting in Dec. there was 9 different families in there to complain about the bus driver who is 86 or more, for close lining kids into their seats and hitting them and cussing them, stopping the bus so that everyone is late because of one person, etc........ One of these people is a teacher at another school. She was furious over her daughter. Well guess who got a response? Nobody, except that teacher. She was kind enough to send us all that letter to use against him (superintendant). I have called the Govenors office twice for advise. I haven't used it yet. I will when the time is right.

Last year my son had a Chemistry teacher who was an xmarine. He sat at the front of the class and sharpened his pocket knife everyday. He offered to shove pencils through their eyes, he told every class he had that he would kill this one certain kid if he ever came around him. He never had this kid in class and that was the teachers first year there. He upset these kids so bad. Do you suppose any of them passed or ever understood anything about Chemistry? Not even close. Those kids, including mine did not get to learn that class. One of the most important classes in high school and that is what they got.

Everybody get ready for novanative to come in here on me. She does not like it when I talk about sports being a seperator in k-12 schools. I'm gonna anyway though. Some of you have said it right. The Administration and Coach/teachers are beating down our good ACADEMIC TEACHERS. THe ACADEMICS TEACHER ALWAYS TAKES THE BACKSEAT TO SPORTS AND ADMINISTRATION. ALWAYS!! Get those coaches out of our kids classrooms. THey wear a title coach because they want to play. Yes, I won't deny that some of them coaches are educated and do know how to teach, but as a child not in sports, they will not get the same attention on their grades. If an ACADEMIC TEACHER, does something about a sports kid that the coach and administration do not like, then there goes your ACADEMIC TEACHER. THe sports kids walk around in school like they are better than the others, and they do ALOT of bullying through the halls. Sports cause seperation in every facet.
Well, that is my story and I'm stickin to it.
 
Old 02-27-2008, 07:38 PM
 
603 posts, read 777,249 times
Reputation: 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by novanative75 View Post
I do not think anyone was talking about 'working out' potentially fatal situation such as a murder, come on.
What we are talking about is that we can not protect our children from every bad thing out there and keep them in a bubble. They need to learn how to work through bad situations. In the example of bullying, a child needs to learn that if he is bullied, he should not react in a negative way (i.e. starting a fight in revenge, etc.) and that he should report the incident to an adult. THAT is all in the process of working through the situation.
Our kids are going to face negative situations in life and they need to learn the skills to deal with them, to cope, and to be resilient.
Of course no one wants children to be bullied, etc. and we do everything we can to prevent it, however we also are realistic and prepare our children in the event that it does happen.
Children learn so much from actually being in situations. The most resilient students that I know have been through some rough times but have come through with lessons learned and skills gained.
It is life, be realistic.

Novanative: You completely missed HFC's point. You recommended the student report the incident. Well he did. And the teacher made a dismissive, indifferent, condescending remark that established a perpetually disturbing emotional reaction for this 9-10 year old. Those words were never forgotten I imagine. After listening to his account of this event, you completely dismissed the underlying concern, just as that teacher did. You used a lot of "shoulds" to convey the most "realistic" way to handle bullies in the school system in accordance with your experience. First of all, "realistically" speaking of course, when you stated that no one was talking about murder and then proceeded to use the term "protect our children" in the next sentence, I wondered how realistic it was to so easily dismiss the possibility of school fatalities. Not watching the news lately?
You discouraged victims of bullies from acting negatively, like fighting. Generally speaking, fighting doesn't resolve a situation, but there's exceptions to every rule, especially when teachers and administrators fail to address the problem appropriately. I was bullied for months by a person who had been expelled from another school. Nothing was done about it. I beat that a*s one day and never had that problem again. I was suspended for 3 days for fighting, the other person was suspended for 5 upon admitting the role of the antangonist. I disagreed with this policy, but it worked out because I got some days off and went shopping, though I missed tryouts, contrary to the opinion expressed earlier that administrators protect athletes. But no one ever bullied me again. Sometimes tattle-telling makes the situation worse, and it certainly doesn't support the argument that it's best to handle problems independently. Realistically speaking, you might consider researching developmental psychology to support your "shoulds". Traits like resiliency and skills like decision making start forming very early in child development. So unless you're teaching preschool or elementary aged children, the idea of imposing these aspects of personality might be a bit unrealistic. But I guess it doesn't hurt to try. So at least I'm glad to hear that your school is working hard to prevent bullying. You might want to address the effects of it too. Research shows some significant correlations that might facilitate understanding this issue, realistically.
 
Old 02-27-2008, 07:42 PM
 
1,650 posts, read 2,371,359 times
Reputation: 1090
Quote:
Originally Posted by middle-aged mom View Post
I wonder what we might hear if the tables were turned.

What abuse have teachers taken from their students and parents?

This might be a far more eye-opening read.
Well......I had a student slap me yesterday because I gave handed out a consequence for his EXTREMELY DEFIANT behavior. The only consequence he got was to pay his recess in the office. He is even still in my classroom just as defiant as he has always been. He is disruptive to the other students and deliberately does things to make the other children upset but yet nothing is being done about him. I am trying to have him evaluated and I have been waiting since October!!!!! In the meantime, he is still in my class. I wonder who is the one being punished here. Maybe the next time he hits me it will leave a bruise so I can go to the police department and press charges. Did I mention I teach 1st graders?
 
Old 02-27-2008, 08:04 PM
 
603 posts, read 777,249 times
Reputation: 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebelt1234 View Post
Well......I had a student slap me yesterday because I gave handed out a consequence for his EXTREMELY DEFIANT behavior. The only consequence he got was to pay his recess in the office. He is even still in my classroom just as defiant as he has always been. He is disruptive to the other students and deliberately does things to make the other children upset but yet nothing is being done about him. I am trying to have him evaluated and I have been waiting since October!!!!! In the meantime, he is still in my class. I wonder who is the one being punished here. Maybe the next time he hits me it will leave a bruise so I can go to the police department and press charges. Did I mention I teach 1st graders?
Wow. First grade huh. What is that 6 years old? Dysfunctional behaviors seem to be manifesting earlier, with greater frequency and growing intensity. What's the problem with the eval? Do you mean a psych eval? By the school psychologist?
 
Old 02-27-2008, 08:50 PM
 
603 posts, read 777,249 times
Reputation: 211
[quote=pegmomof4;2961806]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dbledeez View Post
With further inspection, it becomes evident why no one listens to you or responds to your letters. They are biased, uninformative, and inherently flawed. Devise a well documented and onjectively based report and someone might actually listen. Though I doubt it.

No one responds to me or my letters? You certainly did, and I thank you.
Yes I did. I appreciate your response as well. To clarify, I was referring to the 22 letters and the 2 responses cited on your organization's website: http://www.nospank.net/nc-shame.htm.
 
Old 02-28-2008, 01:52 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
4,579 posts, read 8,435,829 times
Reputation: 4057
Why do parents love drama? Why do some parents not show up to parent/teacher conferences about their child's grades but the minute the child claims abuse the parents are there ready to fight. Give me a break.
 
Old 02-28-2008, 02:12 AM
 
603 posts, read 777,249 times
Reputation: 211
'Cause they might have to face their own failures. They're not willing to do that for anybody, much less for a school teacher.
 
Old 02-28-2008, 05:21 AM
 
20,797 posts, read 32,810,594 times
Reputation: 9904
Ok, enough of the bickering, this thread is closed.
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