finding open minds in the jackson area (Martin, Greenfield: daycare, house)

[ashesashie]

I moved to a small town outside of jackson about 3 years ago. I have had difficulty finding friends as I am a very liberal person. I do not care if my friends share my viewpoints (though that would be nice once in a while). Specifically I am open to any religion race or sexuality. I just don't want to be judged by my friends and have them try to change my beliefs. I am married and have a baby, 26 years old. Is there anyone like me around here? Where can I go to meet friends? Any ideas?

[pktn]

We've been where we are at for about 9 years now and still don't really know anyone in the area. The friends I do know don't really talk politics or religion. They may say, I have a friend at church that might need some work done, or they did this but never have they tried to force me to go to church. Like I said, most of the folks don't really talk politics or religion, at least not with me. The friends I've had at work native to Tennessee never really talked politics or religion either. So if your trying to have conversations with folks about politics or religion they might feel as though your pushing your views on them. Not sayin' you are but just something that crossed my mind as I said, very rarely if ever have had conversations involving either subject.

Depending on your babies age you might have to look for other mothers. That's how my wife has become friends with folks, thru my kids . Participate in school functions and stuff like that. Daycare or Daycare mom's?

Don't know if this helped or not

[ashesashie]

Thanks for responding. I don't ever bring up my beliefs to potential friends.. but the conversation always seems to wind up with them making derogatory remarks to which I ignore even though it makes me uncomfortable.
Maybe its because I live in such a small town. I would love to meet some moms, my son hasn't started daycare yet, any other ways your wife found people?

[ashesashie]

Thanks for responding. I don't ever bring up my beliefs to potential friends.. but the conversation always seems to wind up with them making derogatory remarks to which I ignore even though it makes me uncomfortable.
Maybe its because I live in such a small town. I would love to meet some moms, my son hasn't started daycare yet, any other ways your wife found people?

[pktn]

We're about 90 miles southeast of Jackson so don't think the people would be that much different. I can't say I've had anyone lead off with "what church you go to?" or anything like that but then again I'm a guy and we're usually talking vehicles, farming, trucks etc.

As far as my wife goes she is from another country so it is extra difficult for her, have yet to see a Buddist temple anywhere around! Think she had one friend back when our first kid was born, she would actually go to her house and hang out, shop and so on. She was the wife of a guy I worked with, a good friend. We had dinner at their place and I would help him on some tractors around the farm and the ladies would do whatever back at the house. At our new place though it was just meeting people at the school with our oldest being in kindergarten. I'd drag her to company picnics, Christmas parties to try and find new friends.....wouldn't work out. Here lately though one of my daughters friends Mom and my wife have been emailing, talking on the phone so maybe she has a friend now! Don't know what they talk about, maybe their worthless unemployed husbands!

Maybe that's why we don't get many visitors(aside from the ones asking if we'll sell our goats) There is a big church presence here and we don't go. I just figure I need to be out making money on sunday instead of sitting in a pew. If God is gonna get mad at me for supporting my family by any LEGAL means possible, including working on sunday, then he'll just have to get over it. Sunday is a good day to spend with the family around the house, never know where I'll be the following week. I think solitude is how we like it though, we have some dear friends who live a couple hours from us and we make trips to see them or they come to see us. They seem to be the only ones that we have actually done the couples thing with, go out to eat, hang out at each other's place. We've traveled and stayed for a few days at their place and they have done the same at our house. I guess with us it's not how many friends, it's the quality. These friends of ours we have known since the early 90's and have never lived next door or just down the street. Always hundreds of miles between us but still we're the greatest friends and still visit. I think we can handle the solitude around here just because we know we can go visit them for a weekend if we want to. They're the kind of friends where we sit around the kitchen table talking until 2, 3, 4am drinking coffee.

Other than that we don't really have anybody to sit and drink coffee with, do a movie or anything like that. I have a few friends about an hour away but only see them once in awhile, one is a contractor so I see him like a work buddy, see him when I'm on a job and he needs me and my arm and I need his check.

In all my years I can say only a few people stick out for me. In the places I've worked one or two guys were close to me as good friends, guys I look back on and wonder, where are they now? Or the folks I've met around here I'll stop in and have a chat with them. I can honestly say though I cannot get past five on the friends that I'd call at 2am to come help with a stalled car, to borrow $100 indefinetly, to spend 16 hours with working on his car for free to help out. I've known a bunch of people. Maybe you just have not run across this person yet. As far as my wife and friends, like I said, 9 or 10 years and I think she might have made a friend. I don't think I've seen her chat on the phone with anybody like she does with this Mom lately, giggle, laugh and talk for over an hour. It's good to see.

Still can't think of places to go to help out though. You'll stumble across somebody and she'll say, "I know I had the same problem, can you believe it!!" then you'll feel an air of relief, finally, somebody that understands me! All I can say is what are your hobbies, interests? Explore the area for groups, clubs in the area that you are interested in. Be it art, Hobby Lobby? They have classes, if you have a Hobby Lobby, our town is small and we do, amazingly! Sewing? Stop at the fabric place, we have one in Nashville, JoAnn's actually that does classes and such. Guns, Archery, just throwing stuff out there, gun store would know about local stuff going on. Pottery? Find a place that sells pottery supplies and such, ask about clubs, classes and so on. See where I'm going with this?

Again, Hope something I've babbled on about helps out. Take care,

pktn

[ashesashie]

Thank you for taking the time to write all that! I have had quite a few conversattions start out asking about church on the first meeting. Which normally means they won't talk to me after that conversation... we also don't go to church. I think I am pobably in the same boat as your wife. Hopefully I will run into that perfect person as you mentioned. Untill then I continue to search online for like minds near me. And try to manage hobby type things with me wee one. Time will tell...

[Johnny Ryall]

Try the Downtown Tavern. It can be a hip place with some decent folks mixing and mingling. Hangout at the Old Medina Winery too. Both places may have live music that can be bad to good. Jackson is a decent small-metro, but you may have to look pretty hard sometimes to be in the right place at the right time to run into people you mesh with.

[kingchef]

to those responding about folk in the jackson area asking about religion, as it is generally the first question out in conversation, i have lived in the area on and off, and i have lived in several other cities in west tn, other than memphis. from my experience, i have been asked how well hung i am ten to one over any questions on my religion or where i attend church. i tend to agree w/ the poster who commented that he believed that most discussions on religion are brought up by those who make derogatory remarks about same, and, as the post indicated, when it has occurred, i allowed it to slide out of respect toward the individual who was inquiring.

in the north and the northeast, i probably cannot count on two hands the number of times i was asked what parochial school i attended, and the one question that really perturbed me, "what sports team did i support?" they just assumed that i liked football, hockey, baseball, and bowling. i hated all of it, and i did not like starting out conversations w/ such trivial and unimportant questions, such as these. i do not have children, but if i did, i would not want them hounded about sports, as i would teach them to disengage in any sports activity. i might even be silly enough as to drive around and inquire about places that did not have people who played sports or promoted sports activity.

[Capt. Dan]

Since you are in Greenfield I would think that you could meet people thru various activities at Univ of Tennessee at Martin.

[Kabluey]

Does Jackson have anything on Meetup.com? I would also suggest local universities.