U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Tennessee
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-30-2011, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee
22,534 posts, read 46,084,101 times
Reputation: 13302

Advertisements

I understand what you are saying. I suspect I didn't explain myself very well, because I don't think you know what I mean.

Here's the situation. I longed to move to The South almost as far back as I can remember. Apparently, I had a pretty good grip on what that entails, even though I only briefly traveled through it when I was about 12. I'm constantly surprised by Yankees that believe stereotypes. I didn't seem to have any of those.

However, there were differences that I didn't imagine and I was just telling you about a couple. They are not huge things. In fact, if you are not use to sidewalks that is a big one that you will not have to worry about. I don't think it is a huge deal. Everyone in our neighborhood walk a lot and there is never any safety issue.

And some of the differences are fabulous, like the friendly people, the low taxes with big services, the polite drivers, the low cost of living. There are many more but that gives you a good idea.

I'm from a small town but they all had very, very good school systems. Even the one town that had a "bad" school system seems good compared to many other places, especially in Florida. I see that a lot. Folks from the northeast think how "bad" can it really be? Pretty bad. So that is a concern. And ratings and lists do not always give an accurate picture.

In SOME small towns the people can be a bit insular. You might hear opinions you are not use to.

I also assumed that yes, people ate southern food here, but they also ate northeastern food. Nope. That got better as I learned the different places to eat and shop, but I was a bit frustrated at first. I mean, the pizza is different. That sort of thing. Not a huge issue.

Subdivisions and gated communities were an enormous shock when I first moved to Florida. There is less of that here, but some. And by the way, Seqouyah is not like that. It is very old money and well established, not trying to keep up with the Jones.' Lots of nice moms. My daughter took ballet with a lot of kids that live there and they are all super nice. A lot of them are our customers.

Sorry for the communication breakdown.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-30-2011, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee
22,534 posts, read 46,084,101 times
Reputation: 13302
Quote:
Originally Posted by septimus View Post
The HOA adjustment was hard coming from the northeast where they don't really exist. We live in a HOA community. It is hard to not live in an HOA community unless you live in an older part of town and then you may be in a historic overlay distric which can be 100 times more restrictive than any HOA.

The nice thing about HOAs around here is a lot of them provide amentities like playgrounds, neighborhood swimming pools, tennis courts, etc. as well as insure a general level of maintenance. My old street was full of $700-8000k houses and we had a 1978 station wagon on cinder blocks on the street for long stretches of time.
I don't agree with that at all. I worked in real estate for a bit and there are plenty of very nice neighborhoods that do not have HOAs and are not historically restricted. I live in one of them but there are many, many more.

Oh! I just realized you are referring to Nashville.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2011, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
9 posts, read 15,732 times
Reputation: 11
Hi Hiknapster - I just re-read what I wrote, and I sound very know-it-all-ish about moving to a new place... and that is totally not the case (considering my idea of moving was to buy a house 3 minutes away from my childhood home ) !!! We are VERY excited, and we do plan to try to meld into our new surroundings, but by no means are we *completely* prepared for any of it, LOL!!!

I know there is plenty that we will have to get used to in a completely new area, and you make a bunch of excellent points - the most excellent being that I really don't have any idea what will strike me as something to adjust to. I'm sure there are lots of small things that will be quite different, along with some major things as well.

We are trying to remain realistic rather than idealistic. A difficult task, given how excited we are to possibly have this opportunity.

So... I must apologize for sounding like I was discounting your advice. Totally not the case, and I apologize if my enthusiasm made it come across that way!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2011, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee
22,534 posts, read 46,084,101 times
Reputation: 13302
You don't sound like a know-it-all. Not at all. Nor did I think you discounted my advice. In fact, I was afraid I might have sounded like I was warning you off. Quite the contrary. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. I also think you seem VERY enthusiastic!

I think I always give the standard post to people, though, because most people - including myself - initially look for a small town. I'm use to living with a population of about 10,000 to 14,000. Initially, we rented in a rural area and I didn't care for it. When we finally bought, we ended up within the city limits. Knoxville comes across as a very large town. It just has that "homey" feel. In fact, its downtown is fairly small, but beautifully restored.

I suspect that you may be frightened of stepping on toes. This is a forum, and sometimes some odd comments can come from left-field, but speaking for the Knoxville folks, we are very friendly. Don't be so worried about what we think.

By the way, my dad was born in The Bronx and his wife - who is just wonderful - is from LI.



Quote:
Originally Posted by ASJ2011 View Post
Hi Hiknapster - I just re-read what I wrote, and I sound very know-it-all-ish about moving to a new place... and that is totally not the case (considering my idea of moving was to buy a house 3 minutes away from my childhood home ) !!! We are VERY excited, and we do plan to try to meld into our new surroundings, but by no means are we *completely* prepared for any of it, LOL!!!

I know there is plenty that we will have to get used to in a completely new area, and you make a bunch of excellent points - the most excellent being that I really don't have any idea what will strike me as something to adjust to. I'm sure there are lots of small things that will be quite different, along with some major things as well.

We are trying to remain realistic rather than idealistic. A difficult task, given how excited we are to possibly have this opportunity.

So... I must apologize for sounding like I was discounting your advice. Totally not the case, and I apologize if my enthusiasm made it come across that way!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2011, 05:33 PM
 
76 posts, read 128,952 times
Reputation: 50
I am currently in college and one of the things we are studying right now is cultural shock and the five stages that encompass it. Before this class, I had no idea that there were actual stages that we natural went through when we were put into a different environment. I have moved a lot in my 41 years and only twice did I move somewhere and actually hated it enough to move. Fayetteville NC and Bonifay Florida but after reading these stages, I can see that I totally blew it in stage 2 and left. I hope this helps those who want to move (anywhere) to understand the stages and to be ready for them ahead of time.

Here are the stages:
Cultural shock generally goes through five stages: excitement or initial euphoria, crisis
or disenchantment, adjustment, acceptance, and reentry. Davis and Krapels (2005)
visualize cultural shock as being represented by a U-shaped curve, with the top of the
left side of the curve representing the positive beginning, the crisis stage starts down
the left side to the base of the U, the adjustment phase starts at the base of the curve,
then acceptance moves up the right side of the curve, and reentry into the original culture
is at the top of the right side of the curve.
The first stage is excitement and fascination with the new culture, which can last
only a few days or several months. During this time, everything is new and different;
you are fascinated with the food and the people. Sometimes this stage is referred to as
the “honeymoon” stage, during which your enthusiasm for the new culture causes you
to overlook minor problems, such as having to drink bottled water and the absence of
central heating or air conditioning (Black et al., 1999).

STAGES OF CULTURAL SHOCK
Unacceptance of the host culture the traveler simply behaves as he or she
would in the home culture. No effort is made to learn the language or the customs
of the host culture.
Substitution the traveler learns the appropriate responses or behaviors in the
host culture and substitutes these responses or behaviors for the ones he or she
would ordinarily use in the home culture.
Addition the person adds the behavior of the host culture when in the presence
of the nationals but maintains the home culture behavior when with others
of the same culture.
Synthesis this strategy integrates or combines elements of the two cultures,
such as combining the dress of the United States and the Philippines.
Resynthesis the integration of ideas not found in either culture. An example
of this strategy would be a U.S. traveler in China who chooses to eat neither
American nor Chinese food but prefers Italian food.


During the second stage, the crisis or disenchantment period, the “honeymoon” is
over; your excitement has turned to disappointment as you encounter more and more
differences between your own culture and the new culture. Problems with transportation,
unfamiliar foods, and people who do not speak English now seem overwhelming.
The practice of bargaining over the purchase price of everything, an exercise originally
found amusing, is now a constant source of irritation. Emotions of homesickness, irritation,
anger, confusion, resentment, helplessness, and depression occur during the
second stage. People at this stage often cope with the situation by making disparaging
remarks about the culture; it is sometimes referred to as the “fight-back” technique.
Others deal with this stage by leaving, either physically, emotionally, or psychologically.
Those who remain may withdraw from people in the culture, refuse to learn the
language, and develop coping behaviors of excessive drinking or drug use. Some individuals
actually deny differences and will speak in glowing terms of the new culture.
This second stage can last from a few weeks to several months.

In the third stage, the adjustment phase, you begin to accept the new culture or
you return home. You try new foods and make adjustments in behavior to accommodate
the shopping lines and the long waits for public transportation. You begin to see
the humor in situations and realize that a change in attitude toward the host culture
will make the stay abroad more rewarding.

In the fourth phase, the acceptance or adaptation phase, you feel at home in the
new culture, become involved in activities of the culture, cultivate friendships among
the nationals, and feel comfortable in social situations with people from the host culture.
You learn the language and may adopt the new culture’s style of doing things.
You even learn to enjoy some customs such as afternoon tea and the midday siesta that
you will miss when you return to the home country.

The final phase is reentry shock, which can be almost as traumatic as the initial
adjustment to a new culture, particularly after an extended stay abroad. Many individuals
are shocked at the fact that they feel the same emotional, psychological, and physical
reactions they did when they entered the new culture.

Reentry shock is experienced
on returning to the home country and may follow the stages identified earlier: initial
euphoria, crisis or disenchantment, adjustment, and acceptance or adaptation. You
would at first be happy to be back in your own country but then become disenchanted
as you realize that your friends are not really interested in hearing about your experiences
abroad, your standard of living goes down, and you are unable to use such new
skills as a foreign language or bargaining in the market. You then move into the adjustment
stage as you become familiar with new technology and appreciate the abundance
and variety of foods and clothing and the improved standards of cleanliness. You finally
move into the acceptance stage when you feel comfortable with the mores of the home
culture and find yourself returning to many of your earlier views and behaviors.

Last edited by Lovessnow69; 01-30-2011 at 05:50 PM.. Reason: fixed the formatting
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2011, 04:41 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
9 posts, read 15,732 times
Reputation: 11
Hiknapster - I suspect you are right! LOL I *am* concerned with stepping on toes. It's my (unfortunate at times) nature. Everyone seems so friendly and helpful here, I don't want to unintentionally say anything stupid or divisive!

Lovessnow69 - That is very interesting! Thank you for posting it. And I think it's awesome that you are in college - I can't wait to go back to school! I could be a professional student if there were such a career, LOL!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2011, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
1,361 posts, read 3,713,282 times
Reputation: 785
ASJ2011, don't worry about stepping on toes; just be yourself. When we first moved here, my husband said he kept thinking will people accept us, but then all of a sudden he didn't think that any longer. I don't think it matters where you came from, the accent you have, or what you're missing about where you came from if you genuinely try to accept your new place and the people in it. Southernly people are very friendly and have made us feel like we are Tennesseans. We've been here a little over 3 years and feel like TN is our home.

I have to laugh because sometimes I have difficult with a thick southern accent thinking that my NY accent is normal! Doesn't everyone in TN talk with a NY accent? LOL
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-01-2011, 01:18 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,178 posts, read 14,260,960 times
Reputation: 14779
We bought our retirement home in western TN because it is what fits in with our budget and what we wanted - privacy/few neighbors. So we got it. But where I really wanted to buy was in northeast TN - where I had gone to college a billion years ago - seriously, over 40 years ago. I fell in love with TN all those years ago. The northeast isn't so far removed from the area in NJ where I grew up - with the mountains. I think YoungLisa now lives in the vicinity. I went to a very small college outside Greeneville, but we often made day trips to Johnson City or Knoxville and to some of the other tiny towns around. Of course, when we headed for home, we always went through the middle of Bristol, since I-81 was not yet completed.

What I have found is a lot of NYC and metro area people have transplanted to TN. When we FINALLY move down, we'll have to have a get together of all NY area transplants in the state. We can have bagels and thin-crust round pizza and even square pizza shipped down. And can't forget Nathan's hot dogs. Funny thing, I haven't run into a whole lot of folks moving FROM TN.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-01-2011, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee
22,534 posts, read 46,084,101 times
Reputation: 13302
Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Annie View Post
We bought our retirement home in western TN because it is what fits in with our budget and what we wanted - privacy/few neighbors. So we got it. But where I really wanted to buy was in northeast TN - where I had gone to college a billion years ago - seriously, over 40 years ago. I fell in love with TN all those years ago. The northeast isn't so far removed from the area in NJ where I grew up - with the mountains. I think YoungLisa now lives in the vicinity. I went to a very small college outside Greeneville, but we often made day trips to Johnson City or Knoxville and to some of the other tiny towns around. Of course, when we headed for home, we always went through the middle of Bristol, since I-81 was not yet completed.

What I have found is a lot of NYC and metro area people have transplanted to TN. When we FINALLY move down, we'll have to have a get together of all NY area transplants in the state. We can have bagels and thin-crust round pizza and even square pizza shipped down. And can't forget Nathan's hot dogs. Funny thing, I haven't run into a whole lot of folks moving FROM TN.
You had me at "bagel."

A lot of the places from 40 years ago have probably changed. Believe it or not, there was such a transformation in Knoxville that it barely resembles what it looked like when we first moved here, well over five years ago.

You would be surprised. There are not that many New Yorkers here. Funny that you mention this, though. I just discovered a new place to eat tonight. The lady that owns it is from LI. She's been in Knoxville six years. What a wonderful woman and new friend. So here I sit eating the best Reuben sandwich I have had in years! Ah...

Lovessnow, I think that list is for people moving to another country. Last I checked, TN has not seceded.

I didn't experience much culture shock. I guess I went through that when I first moved to Florida. That place is like another country. And the things I warned the OP about are exactly the same in Florida. Florida may not be very southern, anymore, but it still is very different than the northeast, and often not in a good way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-01-2011, 07:20 PM
 
76 posts, read 128,952 times
Reputation: 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster View Post
You had me at "bagel."

A lot of the places from 40 years ago have probably changed. Believe it or not, there was such a transformation in Knoxville that it barely resembles what it looked like when we first moved here, well over five years ago.

You would be surprised. There are not that many New Yorkers here. Funny that you mention this, though. I just discovered a new place to eat tonight. The lady that owns it is from LI. She's been in Knoxville six years. What a wonderful woman and new friend. So here I sit eating the best Reuben sandwich I have had in years! Ah...

Lovessnow, I think that list is for people moving to another country. Last I checked, TN has not seceded.

I didn't experience much culture shock. I guess I went through that when I first moved to Florida. That place is like another country. And the things I warned the OP about are exactly the same in Florida. Florida may not be very southern, anymore, but it still is very different than the northeast, and often not in a good way.

You are right, the list is in regard to people moving to another country, but the stages are the same for any kind of culture Shock. I only shared, because as I did not know it at the time, I was in fact going through these stages a few years ago after a relocation and had no clue, I just thought I was home-sick. If I had known that I was in fact going through something as text-book as these stages, I might have fought harder (with myself) to stay and give it more time but in the end, I was so miserable with the move that we moved back to Orlando 6 months later.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2016 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Tennessee
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top