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Old 07-29-2007, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
37,746 posts, read 40,814,062 times
Reputation: 62006

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony1790 View Post
I get about $20,000 annually as a pension before taxes are taken out, that combined with even a half way decent job should be enough to live on. But there is a difference between surviving and thriving, it's nice to make enough money to be able to take the family out to eat or go to a ball game and not have to think can we afford that? I don't need to be rich, but I don't want my family to be borderline poverty either. Look at how much it costs to fill up the car, heat the house and buy groceries, just the basics eat up about every penny people make these days. I just want to do what's best for my family and yet be able to be around them once in a while and not at work all of the time. Am I making sense at all?

Tony
I can't tell you what you should do but if you decide to come to Tennessee and take a lower paying job, look to live someplace that offers a lot of free activities/events/things to do for you and your wife and the kids. You'll have a rich family life and it won't cost you anything more than gas. And speaking of gas, try to move someplace where your job and your regular needs are within a short mile radius of where you live.

Let me use my town as an example but I am sure there are other towns like it. I live within 3 miles of everything I need/do on a regular basis (point being, I use very little gas in my car). There are free concerts throughout the year, there are festivals/fairs/events sponsored by the town, business and charitable organizations, schools and the churches. There is a Christmas parade. The library has a good children's program. The arboretum is free, the town parks are free and we have 11 greenways for hiking/walking/other. The schools have various events that your kids could participate in and you and your spouse could attend. We have a lake with a public pier where you could go fishing for free. We are within 45 minutes of 4 State Parks which have pools, activities, beach (1), fishing, camping, trails. The government has free events (like tours of their facilities). There are usually (this year was an exception due to a license issue) fireworks on the 4th of July. There are clubs for many hobbies/interests. For kids, the large public swimming pool only costs $1. The free local weekly newspaper would tell you all about these events.

The point is, you could save money (live on less money), and you and your family can still have a full life, if you choose your town carefully and look for/ask about these type of things when you do your research.
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Old 07-29-2007, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
37,746 posts, read 40,814,062 times
Reputation: 62006
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
I can't tell you what you should do but if you decide to come to Tennessee and take a lower paying job, look to live someplace that offers a lot of free activities/events/things to do for you and your wife and the kids. You'll have a rich family life and it won't cost you anything more than gas. And speaking of gas, try to move someplace where your job and your regular needs are within a short mile radius of where you live.

Let me use my town as an example but I am sure there are other towns like it. I live within 3 miles of everything I need/do on a regular basis (point being, I use very little gas in my car). There are free concerts throughout the year, there are festivals/fairs/events sponsored by the town, business and charitable organizations, schools and the churches. There is a Christmas parade. The library has a good children's program. The arboretum is free, the town parks are free and we have 11 greenways for hiking/walking/other. The schools have various events that your kids could participate in and you and your spouse could attend. We have a lake with a public pier where you could go fishing for free. We are within 45 minutes of 4 State Parks which have pools, activities, beach (1), fishing, camping, trails. The government has free events (like tours of their facilities). There are usually (this year was an exception due to a license issue) fireworks on the 4th of July. There are clubs for many hobbies/interests. For kids, the large public swimming pool only costs $1. The free local weekly newspaper would tell you all about these events.

The point is, you could save money (live on less money), and you and your family can still have a full life, if you choose your town carefully and look for/ask about these type of things when you do your research.
I forgot one thing, would you lose your military pension if you went to work for the federal government in a civilian job? Check USA Jobs website with your only search criteria being Tennessee.
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Old 07-29-2007, 12:47 PM
 
16,174 posts, read 32,354,710 times
Reputation: 20577
Since you asked............ family. Family (love) always over money.
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Old 07-29-2007, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Tn
94 posts, read 386,309 times
Reputation: 107
Default Take care of yourself

Tony1790, I can tell you this after learning the hard way. I used to have a job that required lots and lots of overtime. After several years of this, I became seriously ill. Essentially, I had worked myself in the ground.

I made excellent money...although I ended trading off my health for that money. In a nutshell, if I could do it all over, I would not have continued with the job.

As it turned out, My two girls would have much rather had me at home as to have anything money could buy.

You also need to realize one thing...The job you describe has to be very hard and stressful on you both physically and mentally. In time, It will catch up to you and wreck your health.

Your job seems to only be appealing to you from a financial perspective--as was mine. I didn't want to stop because I was under the illusion that my kids were expecting the benefits from the extra money.

I was shocked to learn that they had secretly hated my job for years, and just never really told me that.

Your kids may well tell you the same thing...if given the choice they would probably prefer to have you around more.

Like I said, I learned all this after I had already beaten myself into the ground.

I don't make the money I once did, but I have to say that being home with my family is the best experience I could ever live.

My advice is to make the changes to be with your family and take care of your health. Good Luck, I don't think you will regret it. Kerry
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Old 07-30-2007, 03:22 PM
 
3,061 posts, read 8,335,859 times
Reputation: 1948
Tony,
I hope with you working in one state and your family in another, that doesn't mean you are supporting two households? My husband did that for a bit until we decided to move to our present location. He missed out on so many things when our daughter was little that he is now reliving through our grandson. Family should come first. Yes, money is nice, but in your case, it seems like its not buying any happiness.
Good Luck to you.
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Old 07-30-2007, 04:14 PM
 
Location: East TN
10,997 posts, read 9,629,811 times
Reputation: 40087
Tony, you are getting some good advice here. No amount of money is worth losing your health or being seperated from the kids and wife for so long. You will never get this time back. And it sounds like even if they were with you, you wouldn't have any time to spend with them. When you are old and lying on your death bed, I don't think you'll be wishing you had more time to spend at work with your boss.
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Old 07-30-2007, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Steilacoom, WA by way of East Tennessee
1,049 posts, read 3,995,677 times
Reputation: 703
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
I forgot one thing, would you lose your military pension if you went to work for the federal government in a civilian job? Check USA Jobs website with your only search criteria being Tennessee.
No I don't lose my pension if I work for the govt, the biggest federal employer that I know of in TN is the VA in Johnson City, but they make it hard to apply online. The govt went through alot of trouble to make it easy to apply online, on one of my visits to TN I stopped in at the personnel office at the VA in JC and asked why they were making it so hard to apply. The lady's reply, "oh, well we had lots of people applying and by making it hard to apply we have fewer applications to process". That floored me, they are sabotaging the system because they don't want to do their job

I applied and went to an interview for a job at the VA just before I took my current job, it was for less than half of my current pay. I would have taken the job at the VA over my current job, but they picked another person for the job, and I took this job, as a job in the hand is better than none in the bush....

Tony
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Old 07-30-2007, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Steilacoom, WA by way of East Tennessee
1,049 posts, read 3,995,677 times
Reputation: 703
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlisonL View Post
Tony,
I hope with you working in one state and your family in another, that doesn't mean you are supporting two households? My husband did that for a bit until we decided to move to our present location. He missed out on so many things when our daughter was little that he is now reliving through our grandson. Family should come first. Yes, money is nice, but in your case, it seems like its not buying any happiness.
Good Luck to you.
I'm living in a travel trailer in Missouri while my wife and younger son are staying with my eldest son in WA state. The movers have all of my household belongings due to the temporary nature of my current assignment.

I missed out on most of both of my sons growing up due to always being gone at Sea while I was in the military. I don't really want to miss out on the high school years of my eldest son, but I can't work for minimum wage either.

Speaking of minimum wage, it is an absolute evilness that the min wage is as low as it is and has been for what 10 years now, while gas has tripled, housing has doubled and tripled, milk is $4 and $5 dollars a gallon, etc Meanwhile corporate CEO's make 100 million in salary and stock options, etc

Anywho, like I said, I don't need to be rich, but isn't it a the head of the household's job to provide enough for his family to live in a manner that keeps them off of the dole and comfortable?

Tony
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Old 07-30-2007, 06:52 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,584 posts, read 54,070,979 times
Reputation: 13613
Tony, sweetpea, that ended a long time, ago.

I think it's pathetic that you served our country and can't get a job, but that is the facts. Heck, I just saw someone troop though this forum complaining about how no one will hire him since he is ex-military. Like he is an ex-offender. Unbelievable.

Let me tell you a story.

My dad served in the military in the 1950s. He got out and thought that people would line up to hire him. They told him that he had no experience. The military is not job experience, they said.

But he got a union job, because back then you could do that. Show up for work everyday without any skills and you can retire like him. He drives a Mercedes and takes a couple of cruises twice a year.

But those jobs are no more.

The recruiter will tell you that if you join the military you will be set for life, people will line up to hire you. They won't. His grand-nephew joined up for the military to fight in Iraq. He begged him not to. He knew it would get him nowhere.

You have no skills that they want. Heck, college kids don't have the skills that anyone wants. It's a service industry. Don't let anyone tell you different. We don't make anything in this country anymore.

Staying home with the kids? I did that, a lot. I have five kids, most of them grown. I don't know. Staying home with the kids is great, but then you don't have any money. You do need money to live. To eat. To keep a roof over your head. Sometimes, I barely did that. Sometimes, I didn't at all.

These are all nice platitudes that people are giving you. Go home to your kids, they say. But they can't pay your bills.
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Old 08-01-2007, 12:08 PM
 
3,061 posts, read 8,335,859 times
Reputation: 1948
Those of us who advised you to go back to your family were only offering our opinions, which you asked for. In a nutshell, its a decision that only you can make. Good luck with that.
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