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Old 07-30-2007, 05:37 PM
 
13,338 posts, read 39,799,381 times
Reputation: 10769

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hiknapster, your daughter is a cutie!

And bowl4life, it does seem as if you're being mighty picky. I mean, automatically ruling out your neighbors just because they're older than 50 seems pretty short-sighted. I'm in my 30s and definitely prefer to hang out with people around my age, but one of my closest friends is in her 60s, and I can't imagine my life without her.

Besides, has it occurred to you that maybe your neighbors would be able to introduce you to other people? As you get to know them, they'll probably invite you over to their homes for cookouts and such, and there's a good chance that they would have other people over who are your age. And even if they don't, who cares? It certainly doesn't hurt to be friends with your neighbors, and you might just be surprised at how well you get along with them.

I don't know, it just seems to me that if you are complaining about not having many friends, and in the next breath you say you don't really want to be friends with your neighbors, maybe you're shooting yourself in the foot.
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Old 07-30-2007, 06:00 PM
 
1,775 posts, read 8,082,342 times
Reputation: 799
There's a different between friends and acquaintances. I know most of my neighbors who are retired as well and we might have a get together or something now and then and look out for each other but i don't hang out with them as friends. I mean we don't go out to dinner together, the movies or anything like that. He's probably looking for friends his age to do things with that he likes to do like probably sit down at a bar now and then play a game of pool, watch the game and have a cold beer or something. Not that there's anything wrong with that as i'm guilty of doing that myself now and then with our friends but when you can socialize with people your own age, you have more things in common. I'd at least let your neighbors know you exist so you don't become known as "the guy who lives over there".
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Old 07-30-2007, 06:21 PM
 
16,174 posts, read 32,392,666 times
Reputation: 20577
I think you are on the right track in going to activities that you like to go to; friends will come from that (if you are open to it). Also, what about volunteering? You might meet some nice people through that activity. There are lots and lots of ways to volunteer, and not all of them are old fuddy duddy things. I do not want to sound like I am picking on you, because I'm not, but the old cliche' of you have to be a friend to have a friend is really kind of true. You get what you give. Also, your neighbors that are age 50+ might have children that are around your age; be sure to be open to becoming acquaintances with the neighbors, and in turn, you might find friendships with their families. I understand what you are saying about churches and being religious, but just know that there are some churches around here that aren't that "preachy" and do promote a warm, friendly environment where friendships can blossom. I loved being a part of a Sunday school class that went to The Comedy Zone, UT games, met at the pool hall, met at restaurants and did fun things like that. We were like minded people that liked to have a good time on Saturday night but try to be good people also. Churches and church social life are a part of the east Tennessee way of life. You don't have to become a part of it, but if you don't participate, you may miss out on a lot of what has made this area what it is today. Get busy finding a bowling league as they will be starting up soon for the winter leagues.
Good Luck and keep us posted on your progress.
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Old 07-30-2007, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Oak Ridge, TN
5 posts, read 25,903 times
Reputation: 10
I'm sorry if I offended anyone. This is the first time I have used a forum for anything other than technology help such as programming, databases, web design, etc. The techy forums have a different atmosphere, a "we are here for solutions" atmosphere. It doesn't get emotional in the techy forums.

Thanks for all the suggestions.
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Old 07-30-2007, 08:08 PM
 
302 posts, read 1,441,065 times
Reputation: 118
Default Not all here are nit picky

I know where you are coming from. Some people choose to misread your post and may be in a grumpy mood Please dont let some of the responses bother you. My hubby used to comment and try to make some conversations and now wont because every time he said something, someone always had some judgement to make on his response. Please hang in there, we are not all like that. Usually you do have more in common with people in your age group. yes you can make some great friends with older (and younger) people who happen to think much more like you than you think as I'm sure you are aware of Welcome to the forum
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Old 07-30-2007, 08:29 PM
 
13,338 posts, read 39,799,381 times
Reputation: 10769
Quote:
Originally Posted by bowl4life View Post
I'm sorry if I offended anyone. This is the first time I have used a forum for anything other than technology help such as programming, databases, web design, etc. The techy forums have a different atmosphere, a "we are here for solutions" atmosphere. It doesn't get emotional in the techy forums.

Thanks for all the suggestions.
I think making a post about trying to make friends just lends itself to emotions. I mean, friendship is based on human emotion, otherwise we would be friends with our laptops or our cell phones.

All I wanted to say was, don't discount your neighbors just because they're older. In your original post you did say that you didn't want to limit your friends to your age group. And then you said you didn't want to be friends with your neighbors because they're over 50 years old. So unless you're going to move to a neighborhood with younger people, then you might want to reconsider your, uhm, prejudices.

And if you're posting a plea to a bunch of faceless and anonymous strangers that anyone on the planet can read (which is this forum), you should expect to get a variety of responses and not just some warm, fuzzy cyber hugs.

I have to be honest. I don't feel sorry for you. If that makes me a bad person, then so be it. You're here in a very religious part of the country, but you don't want anything to do with religion, even though that really is the ideal place to meet people and make friends. You want to make friends, just not with your neighbors because they're in their 50s. And I seriously don't think that the answer to your problems is found on the internet.

In the meantime, best of luck with you and the bowling league. I hope it works out for you, I promise I do.

Last edited by JMT; 07-30-2007 at 08:49 PM..
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Old 07-31-2007, 05:05 PM
 
Location: FL
200 posts, read 682,028 times
Reputation: 49
Here is another idea - I am a teacher at Adult Ed courses - yes here in FL but perhaps there are classes at the local school or is there a college? I teach music to adults (keyboard and digital pianos) and they actually have become "family" to me as well as to each other in class. Fun! Take up some classes that sound like a fun "get-away" from work for an evening, or whatever. Choose evening or weekend classes so you can meet other "working" people - my day classes are retired folks and my weekend classes are families with children. Just a thought!
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Old 07-31-2007, 09:57 PM
YFY
 
11 posts, read 12,027 times
Reputation: 11
bowl4life,

Oak Ridge is a tough one when youre in your 20s. Most of the young people leave there as soon as possible. ORNL is the only thing that keeps some around. I hate to say it but its an ageing decaying city. Meeting people through your job is probably the quickest way.
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Old 07-31-2007, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Alabama!
6,048 posts, read 18,366,253 times
Reputation: 4835
Hey, us 50-plus folks have married off the kids or at least got 'em out on their own; now we're up for hanging out. Maybe even past 8 p.m.!!
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Old 08-01-2007, 07:46 AM
 
81 posts, read 308,280 times
Reputation: 17
I don't live in TN. yet so I can't speak to what is specifically available but it sounds like you are planning to try a few things. I would however, encourage you not to throw out the neighbors yet Those people know people and who knows once they get to know you....they may have sons or daughters with similiar interests, know of different activities, or social groups you had never thought of....and maybe they'll invite you to their BBQ's
In addition, I personally think taking college classes is a great way to meet people. It can be for credit or the classes directed to adult interest ...be it gardning, ethnic cooking, nature & environment, local history etc.

I am 50+ and I have to say I'm not looking for a 20 or 30 yo couple to be my best bud.......I, as you say prefer, people closer to my age however, I have never ceased to REALLY enjoy meeting and talking to people of all ages. If I were your neighbor.. and you invited me over, I would probably try to think of anyone I knew that was of similar age and interest to introduce you to.....

and if you don't want to cook.....have a garage sale.. those bring everyone out and it's short term
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