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Old 12-12-2012, 12:05 PM
 
192 posts, read 287,912 times
Reputation: 136

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Originally Posted by J&Em View Post
Michelle I have stayed out of this discussion because I saw so many people giving you the same advice on your multiple threads that I might have. Everyone here really wishes you well and would love to help you achieve a better life but, in reading all of your comments and questions, we can't help but feel that you are basing a lot of your ideas on wishes and not so much on facts. I commend you for looking for a better way for your child but you really need to research your plan differently than you have so far.

First important detail is to stop fantasizing about living rural when you have never been exposed to what it really is like. It is usually the biggest reason people who move from a completely urban environment don't make it. It is a very different lifestyle and requires a lot of self reliance and knowledge to live far away from things and immediate help. One part of that self reliance is needing to be able to drive which you have chosen for some strange reason not to learn to do. Being able to drive any kind of vehicle would be very important living far from city services. Just think about things you might be taking for granted because you don't think you need to drive. In any emergency people in cities have mass transit, taxis and the like. Even a call to an ambulance will have very quick results. Out in the country you could easily wait more than a half hour for one to arrive ( or even as long as an hour -been there and done it). When you live many miles from the closest doctor or pharmacy, your husband is an hour away at his job and your child suddenly becomes seriously ill what will you do? You can't depend on a neighbor to be home and willing to drive you around, you have to take care of things. If you make a mistake when shopping and forget to get enough milk or fruit, or if the store was out of stock on your only shopping day, what will you do midweek when you need it for your child?

Your remark about food (GMO and organic) and hoping for farmer's markets in rural areas is but one of many places you give yourself away as not knowing what rural or even semi rural areas will be like. In rural areas there is no reason to have a "market" since you would attract few people who aren't already growing their own. Farm markets have always been around in cities in some form as a way for the farmers from rural outlying areas to sell their goods to people who can't or don't want to farm. More recently the practice has gotten a boost because people are looking for locally grown and organic produce, artisan breads as well as other handcrafted items by local artists that can be found in in the newer farmer's markets that have popped up in may urban and semi urban places.

This has not been to bash your dreams but to ask you to really research in a much better way before you make the leap you want so desperately to make. You seem to have settled on TN as the place you want to be. I have to ask why is that? Why did you choose one state over many others? Is it based on what someone remarked or more in depth research on some important facet of Tennessee life? I'm fairly well traveled and it still took me several trips to TN to make the decision before retiring here. I needed to see the state and meet the people to get a feel whether or not I would fit here. The state is a long one and has 3 distinct sections to it where the terrain and weather are somewhat different. Coming from a climate like your part of CA you will find all three to be very different from what you are used to and without at least testing one of those in the extreme conditions (mid summer) you may find it not livable for you.

You seem to believe a minimum wage job in a rural or even semi rural area would be easy to get when nothing could be further from the truth. There are many people here in the same boat as you looking for the job that pays something and has benefits. As happens in any small town in any other state, the familiar face will always get the job sooner than an "outsider" unless very specific job circumstances make the "outsider" more valuable. This isn't a bias against the outsider but a natural tendency to hire what you know rather than take a risk on someone you don't know. When you place cheap apartments ahead of realistic job locations you will always come out at the short end of the stick. Unemployment is all over the map in TN with some of the areas around the cities like Knoxville and Nashville doing really well and some of the more rural counties doing very badly.


That brings me to my last point on your research methods. I think you have been letting your Hollywood generated dream - country life saving you from your present city life- get in the way of more pragmatic research. You need to actually understand geography a little and not jump on the latest suggestion of a place to live or real estate generated price lists. For example you don't need to move all the way to Cookeville (which is another city) to live outside of the urban area of Nashville. That doesn't mean Cookeville isn't a good place to live, because it's quite nice in that area. Even a quick look using the satellite setting on Google maps will let you see how fast large farm fields appear outside of the downtown of the cities in Tennessee when compared to what you are used to in CA. You may be better off looking at areas closer to good employment and saving money towards a move to the country once you have been here a few years and know what you really want and where that special town or piece of country is.

Start with possible jobs you or you husband can do before thinking about the exact apartment you want to rent. Right now that seems to be mostly what he can do, but eventually you will need to do something, too. You mentioned trucking and guitars. There are trucking firms that hire for weekday only and more regional trips that he can look into. I know of 2 drivers who work that way and are home on weekends 90% of the time so those jobs exist. If he wants to stay with guitars, Gibson seems to be looking for all kinds of workers from assembly to managerial. He should be able to work there if he has experience. Here's a sampling of opportunities I found with a quick Google check: Gibson Guitar Jobs, Employment in Nashville, TN | Indeed.com I followed up that with a check on maps for where Gibson has its facilities here: location of Gibson Guitar in Nashville - Google Maps Note that 3 places flagged as A,B and D would be the most likely places he would work based on what you said. Now you have an idea of where he could possibly work and can look east of there for more open land and smaller towns for an apartment. Obviously he will need to have some kind of job offer for you to finalize that location but you will have had some time to research possibilities this way.

You said you had the cost of moving figured out but I'm not sure you have come up with all the expenses since you have not lived on your own yet. Some things to consider if you haven't already.... There are the physical moving costs, then there are hotel/motel costs if you need to wait to get into an apartment. Rental usually involves, at the very least, first and last months rent up front, or a combination of rent and security deposit. Getting electricity, gas, phone and cable/satellite services will also all require deposits before you even have the service. It doesn't sound like you will have much furniture or basic pots, pans, dishes needed to cook at home. Eating out, even if it is fast food, will rapidly add up and so will buying some or all of those things. Clothing for a growing child will add up quickly since they go through the different sizes quickly, as will having to buy clothes you may not have needed for the colder months for you and your husband.

Michelle, your dream of doing better for you child is an age old one that every one of us mothers (and fathers) can relate to. Many people moved west into the unknown over the last few centuries in this country for similar reasons. Much of this country's expansion was based on people who were self reliant taking a risk and leaving society to build a better life somewhere new. Women had to work very hard then, too, or their families didn't make it. The risk of failure was always there as well, and so many didn't make it. We'd like you to slow down and think a little harder on what you risk by picking up sticks and moving so far from the safety net you currently have. Successful people always have a plan and a contingency plan, and a backup plan to that. They make realistic assessments before leaping into the unknown, not like in the movies and on TV where people take flying leaps into the unknown and always land on their feet. Good luck to you on your search for a better place to live for your family.
I think I have considered a lot more than people think. I have been planning on doing this for a while. You are right that I dont know much about rural living. But I intend to find out. My husband does though, and that is what he wants. I have been out to the colorado river and camped out there and it is nothing but farmland as far as you can see, and I LOVED it. Of course we were in arizona and dont want to be living in the desert. My decision was based on the fact that we want to be in the Appalachian mountains, we dont want to be too far north because of the winters or too far south because of the heat. There was a lot more research that I did about climate, cost of living, demographics, crime, etc. before I decided that our Ideal location seems to be east tennessee. But as of now it would be smarter to start ourselves in Nashville. My husband and I decided I will be getting a car, but not until we get there since I dont want to drive myself across the country alone. We have a jeep cherokee and my husband wants to get himself a run down truck for some reason. I guess hes always liked older vehicles. (maybe cuz he can fix them himself).

As far as the job thing, we will be getting ourselves over there on my husband getting a job. I am not going to be applying from here and deal with having to coordinate both jobs and both job locations. If we decide it would be better I have one, then I will get a part time job at night like I said before. Also I am looking at specific apartments so I can learn the area. I am glad I did that because the original one I posted got a thumbs down. I am trying to educate myself as much as I can. Hence my millions of posts.

As far as moving expenses, my parents spend $5,000 on all their kids weddings, my husband and I decided to get married at the courthouse and take the money instead. Then we also have some money we have saved, and are waiting for our tax return. We are also not renting anything the way over. We are buying a horse trailor, loading it up so we dont have a time limit, (uhaul is 8 days) and camping our way over. our only big expense on the road will be food and gas. I feel we have plenty to deal with all of those things. I plan on doing everything I can to secure an apartment from here.

Furniture. We actually have considered that as well. My grandma just died about a month ago and when it came time to sell all of her things, my husband and I took everything we would need to furnish our new home. Pots, Pans, bookcase, chairs, etc. My closet is PACKED with my grandmas entire kitchen.

Originally my unknown consisted of location, and jobs. Now it is only location since we wont be moving without a job. And the fact is that I want to get out of california no matter what. The list of reasons is as long as my arm, but I wont get into that. I have saved the money to move and I really just dont have the money to visit a bunch of places around the country before deciding. I know you think I should. But my husband has lived in florida and north carolina and he wants to be in the south. I havnt been to that part of the country, but if summers are too hot, and winters too cold, I will deal with it for him. Also, like I said my husband is willing to do any job available. I prefer he not be a truck driver, but if thats what it came down to there would be no question.

And as for Cookeville, that was only used because It was specifically mentioned by someone else. It wasnt where I was looking. youre right, It is really hard to get a feel of an area from the internet. So we are going to stay close to whatever job he gets to minimize gas expenses and then visit the surrounding areas and find out what we like.
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Old 12-13-2012, 01:35 AM
 
1,380 posts, read 1,779,641 times
Reputation: 2364
Quote:
Originally Posted by michellelasher View Post
I think I have considered a lot more than people think. I have been planning on doing this for a while. You are right that I dont know much about rural living. But I intend to find out. My husband does though, and that is what he wants. I have been out to the colorado river and camped out there and it is nothing but farmland as far as you can see, and I LOVED it. Of course we were in arizona and dont want to be living in the desert. My decision was based on the fact that we want to be in the Appalachian mountains, we dont want to be too far north because of the winters or too far south because of the heat. There was a lot more research that I did about climate, cost of living, demographics, crime, etc. before I decided that our Ideal location seems to be east tennessee. But as of now it would be smarter to start ourselves in Nashville. My husband and I decided I will be getting a car, but not until we get there since I dont want to drive myself across the country alone. We have a jeep cherokee and my husband wants to get himself a run down truck for some reason. I guess hes always liked older vehicles. (maybe cuz he can fix them himself).

As far as the job thing, we will be getting ourselves over there on my husband getting a job. I am not going to be applying from here and deal with having to coordinate both jobs and both job locations. If we decide it would be better I have one, then I will get a part time job at night like I said before. Also I am looking at specific apartments so I can learn the area. I am glad I did that because the original one I posted got a thumbs down. I am trying to educate myself as much as I can. Hence my millions of posts.

As far as moving expenses, my parents spend $5,000 on all their kids weddings, my husband and I decided to get married at the courthouse and take the money instead. Then we also have some money we have saved, and are waiting for our tax return. We are also not renting anything the way over. We are buying a horse trailor, loading it up so we dont have a time limit, (uhaul is 8 days) and camping our way over. our only big expense on the road will be food and gas. I feel we have plenty to deal with all of those things. I plan on doing everything I can to secure an apartment from here.

Furniture. We actually have considered that as well. My grandma just died about a month ago and when it came time to sell all of her things, my husband and I took everything we would need to furnish our new home. Pots, Pans, bookcase, chairs, etc. My closet is PACKED with my grandmas entire kitchen.

Originally my unknown consisted of location, and jobs. Now it is only location since we wont be moving without a job. And the fact is that I want to get out of california no matter what. The list of reasons is as long as my arm, but I wont get into that. I have saved the money to move and I really just dont have the money to visit a bunch of places around the country before deciding. I know you think I should. But my husband has lived in florida and north carolina and he wants to be in the south. I havnt been to that part of the country, but if summers are too hot, and winters too cold, I will deal with it for him. Also, like I said my husband is willing to do any job available. I prefer he not be a truck driver, but if thats what it came down to there would be no question.

And as for Cookeville, that was only used because It was specifically mentioned by someone else. It wasnt where I was looking. youre right, It is really hard to get a feel of an area from the internet. So we are going to stay close to whatever job he gets to minimize gas expenses and then visit the surrounding areas and find out what we like.
$600/month isn't going to get you all that much here in Memphis either, especially considering you really need a two bedroom with the child. There are actually thousands of apartments that would work for you on paper, but Memphis also has a lot of.....challenging neighborhoods. The Sycamore View area probably the best you could swing on that maximum. Not an absolutely awful neighborhood, but it has the usual challenges of an area with a lot of budget apartments. The same drugs, crime, and trouble every afforadable neighborhood has unfortunately. You'd also need to keep an eye on school districts. There are a few public schools in Memphis that are good places for kids. But not all that many.
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:20 AM
 
2,063 posts, read 6,250,290 times
Reputation: 2713
Quote:
Originally Posted by michellelasher View Post
I think I have considered a lot more than people think. I have been planning on doing this for a while. You are right that I dont know much about rural living. But I intend to find out. My husband does though, and that is what he wants. I have been out to the colorado river and camped out there and it is nothing but farmland as far as you can see, and I LOVED it. Of course we were in arizona and dont want to be living in the desert. My decision was based on the fact that we want to be in the Appalachian mountains, we dont want to be too far north because of the winters or too far south because of the heat. There was a lot more research that I did about climate, cost of living, demographics, crime, etc. before I decided that our Ideal location seems to be east tennessee. But as of now it would be smarter to start ourselves in Nashville. My husband and I decided I will be getting a car, but not until we get there since I dont want to drive myself across the country alone. We have a jeep cherokee and my husband wants to get himself a run down truck for some reason. I guess hes always liked older vehicles. (maybe cuz he can fix them himself).

As far as the job thing, we will be getting ourselves over there on my husband getting a job. I am not going to be applying from here and deal with having to coordinate both jobs and both job locations. If we decide it would be better I have one, then I will get a part time job at night like I said before. Also I am looking at specific apartments so I can learn the area. I am glad I did that because the original one I posted got a thumbs down. I am trying to educate myself as much as I can. Hence my millions of posts.

As far as moving expenses, my parents spend $5,000 on all their kids weddings, my husband and I decided to get married at the courthouse and take the money instead. Then we also have some money we have saved, and are waiting for our tax return. We are also not renting anything the way over. We are buying a horse trailor, loading it up so we dont have a time limit, (uhaul is 8 days) and camping our way over. our only big expense on the road will be food and gas. I feel we have plenty to deal with all of those things. I plan on doing everything I can to secure an apartment from here.

Furniture. We actually have considered that as well. My grandma just died about a month ago and when it came time to sell all of her things, my husband and I took everything we would need to furnish our new home. Pots, Pans, bookcase, chairs, etc. My closet is PACKED with my grandmas entire kitchen.

Originally my unknown consisted of location, and jobs. Now it is only location since we wont be moving without a job. And the fact is that I want to get out of california no matter what. The list of reasons is as long as my arm, but I wont get into that. I have saved the money to move and I really just dont have the money to visit a bunch of places around the country before deciding. I know you think I should. But my husband has lived in florida and north carolina and he wants to be in the south. I havnt been to that part of the country, but if summers are too hot, and winters too cold, I will deal with it for him. Also, like I said my husband is willing to do any job available. I prefer he not be a truck driver, but if thats what it came down to there would be no question.

And as for Cookeville, that was only used because It was specifically mentioned by someone else. It wasnt where I was looking. youre right, It is really hard to get a feel of an area from the internet. So we are going to stay close to whatever job he gets to minimize gas expenses and then visit the surrounding areas and find out what we like.


I'm glad you have some kind of a plan. I'm still not convinced you are adequately prepared although you do have some of the basics taken care of. If it were you and your husband alone this would not be half as big a deal. It might even seem like a grand adventure if you both had skills to fall back on. What is of great concern is that you are responsible for the well being of a very young child and have no real life experience to fall back on. Much of what you have said indicates you have led a very sheltered life without ever having to take care of yourself let alone someone else. This makes us all worry about the consequences of what you plan to do. I wish you well.
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Old 12-14-2012, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee
22,538 posts, read 46,113,418 times
Reputation: 13304
I've found - and several other people I know have come to the same conclusion - that unless it is something not replaceable like sentimental, personal effects, antiques and one-of-a-kind items, you are far better off to leave behind furniture and other items and purchase new ones when you get there. By new I of course mean not just stores but yard sales, flea markets, ebay, freecycle and Craigslist. I've found the cost of a hauler and the gas just isn't worth it.

Just a thought, anyway.
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Old 12-14-2012, 06:41 PM
 
192 posts, read 287,912 times
Reputation: 136
Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster View Post
I've found - and several other people I know have come to the same conclusion - that unless it is something not replaceable like sentimental, personal effects, antiques and one-of-a-kind items, you are far better off to leave behind furniture and other items and purchase new ones when you get there. By new I of course mean not just stores but yard sales, flea markets, ebay, freecycle and Craigslist. I've found the cost of a hauler and the gas just isn't worth it.

Just a thought, anyway.
You're probably right. I have things that should probably be replaced anyway, or would break in the move. Things ive been keeping to furnish my new home. Even considering just buying a new bed. Ours is a queen anyway. Random question, Does anyone know of any string instrument factories in Tennessee other than Gibson?
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