TN Humor (Kingsport: houses, work, news)

[galena]

My cousin in Kingsport, TN, sent this to me. Hope you enjoy it. I've seen some on here before, but copying and pasting was the fastest way to do it.

Know anyone from Tennessee?

Things They Have Learned From Living in **Tennessee * ...

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Tennessee .

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Tennessee Plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.

Houses have "Winders" and "Windas", never has a window been Seen South of I-40

People actually grow and eat okra. Pronouced okrey

"Fixinto" is one word.

There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking It when you're two.

Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you.

"DJeet? Is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

You measure distance in minutes.

You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You know who/which store has the best deal on cases of Natural Light beer.

"All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You know what a "DAWG" is.

You carry jumper cables in your car . . . For your OWN car.

There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, But require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

The first day of deer season is a national holiday.

100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."

We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time know n a s "goin' Wal-martin" Or off to "Wally World." [/SIZE]

A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.

Fried catfish is the other white meat. [/SIZE]

We don't need no stinking driver's Ed . . .. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

EVERYONE can't be from Tennessee ; it takes talent.

[alleycat]

Some of those are as old as the hills, and gets used for other states as well (just change the title). And some of them are too close to the truth for comfort.

My mother drives me crazy with that "winders" one.

[gemkeeper]

That is very funny, galena. I had never heard the work "mashed" used for anything except potatoes and dead road kill until I moved to GA. I still get the biggest kick out of hearing "just mash the button"...

Very cute.

[hiknapster]

Originally Posted by gemkeeper

That is very funny, galena. I had never heard the work "mashed" used for anything except potatoes and dead road kill until I moved to GA. I still get the biggest kick out of hearing "just mash the button"...

Imagine working in tech support and telling the poor customers to "hit" the button. They have no idea what I mean.

[mbmouse]

I believe the line about the weather refers to FL as it sure does not reflect TN weather....Thank God! I moved to TN from FL partly to get away from that heat, heat and more heat weather, haven't been disappointed either.

[phyll]

Originally Posted by hiknapster

Imagine working in tech support and telling the poor customers to "hit" the button. They have no idea what I mean.

I am glad THIS one was included!Being a newbie, if someone told me to mash something, I also would think of potatoes

[jabogitlu]

There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is supper.

YES!!! I always get people so confused because I call it dinner (noonday meal) and supper (six o'clock meal). Evidently most people don't.

[woodchip2009]

I love TN talk. I moved to SA TX 7 years ago and been around more city slickers that ever. Thanks fer making me home sick,,,,,

[Tinman313]

Road Kill Rule.... State of Tennessee

HoneyHoney's Roadkill

[Eat]

Originally Posted by Tinman313

Road Kill Rule.... State of Tennessee

HoneyHoney's Roadkill

Possum in Mustard Sauce, yum.