just alittle advice

[2mares]

This is OT, but, when I lived in town there was never a shortage of stray kids at my house. Ive always had swingsets, trampolines, toys you name it. One day when the gkids were over playing in the yard this little non english speaking hispanic boy about 4 wandered in the yard and began playing. I couldnt communicate with him and there was no guardian in site. I didnt know what to do so I just let him play and kept an eye on him about 30-45 minutes later his mom came down the street. He was on the trampoline and it took both of us about 10 minutes to get him off. LOL.

[Snubby]

I wasn't going to say this out loud, but since hiknapster brought it up, I will say I completely concur with him/her. Socialization is not the strongest trait of many people in these rural areas. We've lived in our area here for almost 5 years and have no "friends." I don't find any deliberate hostility, and they aren't generally rude at all; just completely indifferent to starting/holding/maintaining a conversation.

The children seem particularly bad about this. I wouldn't take this personally at all, but do understand it may very well take years to overcome this social indifference and form some sort of neighborly bond.

I don't recommend the trees. Just waving, saying hello, and the occasional act of neighborhood grace may eventually warm them up...

[hiknapster]

Originally Posted by Snubby

I wasn't going to say this out loud, but since hiknapster brought it up, I will say I completely concur with him/her. Socialization is not the strongest trait of many people in these rural areas. We've lived in our area here for almost 5 years and have no "friends." I don't find any deliberate hostility, and they aren't generally rude at all; just completely indifferent to starting/holding/maintaining a conversation.

The children seem particularly bad about this. I wouldn't take this personally at all, but do understand it may very well take years to overcome this social indifference and form some sort of neighborly bond.

I don't recommend the trees. Just waving, saying hello, and the occasional act of neighborhood grace may eventually warm them up...

I'm a "her." No problem, how can you tell?

I keep being nice, too. Yankee moms can bring up there children well, too, and my mom would shudder if she knew I was being rude.

But out in the country, some people can be very difficult. I have approached people that are baring their teeth. Sheesh. I have had a very hard life, but I prefer to meet people with a smile.

In my job, I have given people everything that they asked, and then some, even after they have called me every name in the book. After all of that, and they are satisfied, do you know what they do? They call me more names and hang up the phone. Are "please" and "thank you" so difficult?

[LauraC]

Originally Posted by phyll

I am not sure what to do here,I have my 4 yr old grandaughter living with me, the neighbors behind us have a 5 yr old daughter. My grandaughter stands at our metal fence calling the girl's name asks if she wants to play,she alawys is either not aloud or says no, leaving my grandaughter heartbroken.
I know the girl is older,they never fought, and played nice the very few times they did play.The mom is not very friendly to us, the dad is nice though.My husband and I never had a screaming match, or don't drink, or anything like that.I don't understand.I am ready when they go out to plant LARGE evergreens to block my g-daughters view of the home!I feel so sad for my grandaughter ,and she is the only kid by our home to, but we do take her to the park to play though and she has a friend there, he's a liitle older, but they play nice.So after ALL this RAMBLIN do I plant BIG BIG evergreens?

Can't offer any advice with the neighbor but can you put your granddaughter in some kind of pre-school for a year so she'd meet other kids her age?

In my town we have a children's museum that offers summer programs for kids in the 3 - 5 year old age category:

Children's Museum of Oak Ridge

Don't know where you live but some of the National Parks and State Parks have free events and programs for young children as do the towns/county recreation departments. Type:

"summer programs" TN and the name of your county into Google and if that doesn't work try changing the word "programs" to the word "activities" and if that doesn't work, leave the county off the search (which may give you nearby towns and national program info). Once you bring up the programs, you'll see they typically present them by an age range.

Also, look for festivals with kid activities. Here's the one for my town but I'm sure other towns have kid activities within their festivals, too.

The Secret City Festival - Oak Ridge, TN

[phyll]

Originally Posted by hiknapster

I'm a "her." No problem, how can you tell?

I keep being nice, too. Yankee moms can bring up there children well, too, and my mom would shudder if she knew I was being rude.

But out in the country, some people can be very difficult. I have approached people that are baring their teeth. Sheesh. I have had a very hard life, but I prefer to meet people with a smile.

In my job, I have given people everything that they asked, and then some, even after they have called me every name in the book. After all of that, and they are satisfied, do you know what they do? They call me more names and hang up the phone. Are "please" and "thank you" so difficult?

I am a yakee grandma ,and I also greet EVERYONE with a smile and show respect, my g-daughter MUST say please , thank you ect, or I make sure she does.It's very hard being in a business and dealing with the pubic , I did childcare for a looong time and had some parents I wanted to slap, sorry,
but people can be rude!I also make sure I say please and thank you, common courtesy.I HATE when I hold the door for someone they do't say thank you.

[phyll]

I can't figure it out, the kids are playing today?Maybe I just have to accept peolpe are stange?LOL

[gemkeeper]

2mares, you are a sweet grandmom and neighbor. That was so nice of you to keep an eye on him like that. It could have been scary if he wandered off even further from home.

Your house sounds like the way mine always was with tons of kids. I always encouraged them to play at our house so I was sure of what was going on with them. Not all parents supervise or even check on their kiddos play once in awhile.

When I was in the third or fourth grade, I took a little girl home with me after school who missed her bus. She was in the special class for mentally challenged children and didn't know where she lived. Nobody else was left at the school as I waited with her for someone to come and get her. I was so worried about her when nobody showed up.

I had her walk home with me, but my mother wasn't home from work yet, so I just gave her a snack and played with her to keep her entertained for awhile. I just figured that my mom would know what to do!

My mom had a fit when she got home that I "kidnapped" this little girl and we had no idea what to do about it. Mom called the principal at his home and he said that the parents, police and school personnel were frantic trying to find her. It was now about 5 PM. Her parents came and picked her up at our house and were very grateful that I didn't just leave her at the school once all the buses were gone, but my mother laid down the law. Do not bring any more stray dogs, cats or children home!

I can't help myself. I still rescued frequently. One was a stray dog hanging around our college campus for several days. I coaxed an upper classman to drive me and the dog to my house about an hour away to give the dog to my dad to take care of. This was after a night in the dorm with the dog whining! The dog barfed in the guy's car on the way and my dad was not too thrilled with me, either. I am trying not to bring any other living creatures home with me!! It's really hard.

Sorry, to get so off topic. How about a cute puppy for your granddaughter to play with, Phyll? Or even some cute little gerbils or fish for her to take care of? They would be good company for her until she made more friends in the area to play with.

I certainly hope that your neighbor comes around. We never know what is going on in someone's life to make them seem cranky or unfriendly. It could be that she is dealing with a sick relative or some financial problems that really have her down now. She may normally be a very friendly open lady. Keep us informed!

Just saw you post and it looks like maybe the problem is solving itself!

[hiknapster]

Originally Posted by gemkeeper

2mares, you are a sweet grandmom and neighbor. That was so nice of you to keep an eye on him like that. It could have been scary if he wandered off even further from home.

Your house sounds like the way mine always was with tons of kids. I always encouraged them to play at our house so I was sure of what was going on with them. Not all parents supervise or even check on their kiddos play once in awhile.

When I was in the third or fourth grade, I took a little girl home with me after school who missed her bus. She was in the special class for mentally challenged children and didn't know where she lived. Nobody else was left at the school as I waited with her for someone to come and get her. I was so worried about her when nobody showed up.

I had her walk home with me, but my mother wasn't home from work yet, so I just gave her a snack and played with her to keep her entertained for awhile. I just figured that my mom would know what to do!

My mom had a fit when she got home that I "kidnapped" this little girl and we had no idea what to do about it. Mom called the principal at his home and he said that the parents, police and school personnel were frantic trying to find her. It was now about 5 PM. Her parents came and picked her up at our house and were very grateful that I didn't just leave her at the school once all the buses were gone, but my mother laid down the law. Do not bring any more stray dogs, cats or children home!

I can't help myself. I still rescued frequently. One was a stray dog hanging around our college campus for several days. I coaxed an upper classman to drive me and the dog to my house about an hour away to give the dog to my dad to take care of. This was after a night in the dorm with the dog whining! The dog barfed in the guy's car on the way and my dad was not too thrilled with me, either. I am trying not to bring any other living creatures home with me!! It's really hard.

Sorry, to get so off topic. How about a cute puppy for your granddaughter to play with, Phyll? Or even some cute little gerbils or fish for her to take care of? They would be good company for her until she made more friends in the area to play with.

I certainly hope that your neighbor comes around. We never know what is going on in someone's life to make them seem cranky or unfriendly. It could be that she is dealing with a sick relative or some financial problems that really have her down now. She may normally be a very friendly open lady. Keep us informed!

Just saw you post and it looks like maybe the problem is solving itself!

Oh, wow. I'm going to have to go rep a bunch of people so I can rep you, again. I laughed so hard that I cried!

[2mares]

Thats great phyll. hope the friendship continues.

Loved your stories gemkeeper. You sound alot like me. I spend most of my time and money on animals and kids even if they arent mine.