relocating from Florida to Tennessee (Chattanooga, Johnson City: for sale, crime, houses)

[theqbaby]

Hi all,
Well this is the second time we made plans with another couple to go to Tennessee, and they backed out at the VERY last minute.
And in turn, my husbands boss, in fear of loosing him after 16 years, made an offer to relocate us to Sea Island Georgia for 2 years. So now we are kind of torn. It would be all housing and utilities paid for 2 years. Kinda hard to pass up. And it would take some of the stress of relocating off of us because he wouldn't miss a beat with work. Still have same salary, insurance, 401K and allowance for gas and food. Small allowance, but every bit helps.
We figure if we do the Georgia thing, we could get to Tennessee more often and really explore . And also make contacts for future work for my husband.
We could leave our house on the market here until it sells and be released from some of debt it consumes from us. Save money, maybe buy property in Tennessee and build a Log Home.
Everything keeps changing, and is so confusing. Having extreme mixed emotions about leaving. We are secure here,and have a rental property, but hate it !!! Lost both my parents in 2004, and 2 dogs since. At the moment we are in the house I grew up in, and we have to sell due to siblings fighting my fathers will. So I have nothing really holding me here. And along with the good memories, the bad seem to out weigh them. My siblings don't talk to me anymore, because my father left me the house, because we took care of him when he was dying. They wanted to stick him in a nursing home, and I felt that a man with 5 grown children should not live out the last of him life in a nursing home.
But anyways, sorry for the rambling...... just very confused.

Any words of wisdom or suggestions, even friendly criticism (tek-freak) much welcomed.
theqbaby

[Tek_Freek]

I lost my parents 13 months apart and my wife lost hers 2 months apart.

Amazing what siblings will do when parents die. Jealousy, envy, and silliness over things that simply aren't that important in life.

Sounds to me like your husband's boss has given you a good opportunity. The only hitch seems to be the house and it's causing you grief now. Getting away from it and selling might allow you to move on with your life.

There's nothing wrong with giving yourself a new start.

[theqbaby]

Tek_Freek,
Its been 2 years of complete hell. My parents died 9 months apart. My mother of heart failure in Jan. My father in Sept. from AIDS. Very tough to watch. He was doing well when my mother passed, then he just went downhill quickly. My father passed at the house and none of my siblings would even come over during his last hours. He passed 1 day prior to hurricane Frances. Which took down a gazebo over the canal, and our pool enclosure. My siblings tried (but failed) to get me on 12 counts of felony insurance fraud charges. Has taken me almost 2 years and over $40,000.00 in attorney fees.
I know deep down in my heart, I am holding on to the house as a way of holding on to my parents. I am the youngest by 15 years out of 5. And now have no family besides my son and husband. My husband has been a saint thru my fathers illness. He changed diapers and fed him once he was bed bound, sibling wouldn't even come 10 minutes to visit. I gave up my career, moved my son from his neighborhood and friends. We gave up alot and this is the thanks we get. Did I mention 12 counts of felony insurance fraud charges & $40,000.00 in attorney fees.
We are good people and help everyone we can. It has been hell.
I do agree that it is time for a change and rid ourselves from all the hard and rotten times here in Florida.
Hope I didn't bend your ear too much, but Thanks for giving me the opprotunity. I really haven't talked much about the situation in the last 6 months. And it is good for me to get it off my chest.
Sincerly,
theqbaby

[Tek_Freek]

I, too, am the youngest (of 6) the oldest being 20 years older. My wife is the elder of 2. We are three months apart in age, but my oldest brother is about 6 months younger than her father was. I lost my parents in 80 and 81 and there is still friction between some members of the family. I sent 20 years asking for the picture albums from two brothers so I could scan them and finally gave up. Last fall my sister got a call from the oldest brother's wife asking if she wanted the albums. Well, duh!

I have now scanned approximately 1400 images and pages of text (burial records from slave ships that my grandfather was a doctor on, for example) as well as daily records from a great grandfather from the late 1800's. He wrote down everything! We know where he went, what he bought, and how much he paid for it. One of my favorites is an entry from 1908 that reads "Mr. Peters shot at Mrs. Penn. Hit Constable Allen." Unfortunately it doesn't say what happened to either Mr. Peters or the constable. I have a few hundred at least to go. Not till winter. All the images will be copied to CD's and sent to every member of the family. Now if I could just get the rest of the pictures from other family members.

As an example of what can happen, I now speak with a brother that lives halfway across the country more often than family that lives across town. I doubt that will ever change.

As for talking about it, that's a good thing. Keeping it in will ***** up your head.

[Tek_Freek]

Well, that looks worse than it is. Try the word s c r e w instead of what was intimated by the asterisks. Sometimes censorship makes things worse than the truth.

[theqbaby]

Tek_freek,
Thanks for sharing. And I agree that keeping it inside messes you up. Its been so long ongoing ,that I feel like I'm beating a dead horse when I speak to my friends about the situation.
We have lived our lives for the past 2 years , not know what we will be doing the next day. And I hate not having direction. I want to get back to my career and back to being myself. I need to get this monkey off my back.
Well we will be setting up a meeting with my husbands boss to make sure everyone is on the same page. (And I will mention the web page ) And plan on looking for housing around the 21st of this month.
If this all works out as we expect, I have a 6 bed 4 bath to pack up and be in Georgia by mid August.

Again thanks for sharing,
theqbaby

[bellabella]

Knoxville is, by far, one of the best locations in Tennessee. We have everything from the Smokeys to fantastic music and arts. Even this week, both of the theatres in Downtown will have concerts. On Wednesday (tomorrow), country star, Jack Ingram, will be playing at the Bijou Theatre, a newly rennovated building dating back to the 1920s. Southern culture on the Skids will also be playing at the Bijou. On Thursday, the 20th, Guster & Ray LaMontagne will be at the Tennessee Theater. The great thing about Knoxville's culture is its dedication to the music and arts scene. I promise, you will love it---especially if you're into the outdoors. The country-side is a prime location for building a new house with a fraction of the cost...it's simply amazing down here...and definitely great for raising a teenager!

[ckfla]

Eventually I was moving to Tennessee or my boyfriend was going to move closer to me and that didnt happen. I invest in real estate and Tennessee is absolutely gorgeous. In a few years, it will be exactly what the real estate market WAS in Florida, and Georgia (right now) is close Behind. Have a great day! As far as the boyfriend matter, he left me for a younger gal and refuses to speak with me. I'd just like to make some more money in real estate. He doesn't realize it.

[CarolynB]

Hi
I also live in Margate Florida and want to move to Tennessee, we are unsure of the area as we have not visited the state, but are looking more into east Tenn... we have had it with Florida,, the people are so unfriendly, the weather too hot and the Hurricanes,, well you know about that.. I was raised on Long Island NY and I miss the down home people and the trees, flowers and change of climate.. my boyfriend works in millwork, and my daughter works for a vet as an assistant, and will need employment in those fields
What part of Tennessee are you visiting? We are planning to go in October and check out Chattanooga and Knoxville areas... good luck and let me know what you find out... if you could tell me how the roads are, regarding overpasses, like they have here, as I have a fear of heights I would appreciate it... I cannot drive on I95 for that reason...
Carolyn

[insanesmooch]

Originally Posted by theqbaby

Hi all,
Well this is the second time we made plans with another couple to go to Tennessee, and they backed out at the VERY last minute.
And in turn, my husbands boss, in fear of loosing him after 16 years, made an offer to relocate us to Sea Island Georgia for 2 years. So now we are kind of torn. It would be all housing and utilities paid for 2 years. Kinda hard to pass up. And it would take some of the stress of relocating off of us because he wouldn't miss a beat with work. Still have same salary, insurance, 401K and allowance for gas and food. Small allowance, but every bit helps.
We figure if we do the Georgia thing, we could get to Tennessee more often and really explore . And also make contacts for future work for my husband.
We could leave our house on the market here until it sells and be released from some of debt it consumes from us. Save money, maybe buy property in Tennessee and build a Log Home.
Everything keeps changing, and is so confusing. Having extreme mixed emotions about leaving. We are secure here,and have a rental property, but hate it !!! Lost both my parents in 2004, and 2 dogs since. At the moment we are in the house I grew up in, and we have to sell due to siblings fighting my fathers will. So I have nothing really holding me here. And along with the good memories, the bad seem to out weigh them. My siblings don't talk to me anymore, because my father left me the house, because we took care of him when he was dying. They wanted to stick him in a nursing home, and I felt that a man with 5 grown children should not live out the last of him life in a nursing home.
But anyways, sorry for the rambling...... just very confused.

Any words of wisdom or suggestions, even friendly criticism (tek-freak) much welcomed.
theqbaby

Sounds like you could really use an opportunity to "start over". If you think you could be happy in GA for a couple of years, I think it sounds like a good plan. At least you know your husband would have work and the benefits that go along. Also, being with the company that long, wouldn't he be close to having some kind of retirement? Some places have it at like 10 or 20 years. Even if he wouldn't get the retirement money right away it would help in the future. Like I was with a company 5 years and I can have a lump sum with taxes taken out, rolled to an IRA, or wait until I am old enough for SS.
Anyway, with the expenses being paid, you would have the opportunity to pay off any debt you may have and/or save to pay cash (or close to it) for something in TN when the time is right. Not sure how far away that part of GA is, but if it is not too far away it would give you an opportunity to find out where in TN you really want to be.
So, if you think you would like that area in GA, then I say go for it. Of course, you can't run from your problems, but it may give you a new perspective on things. After spending the time taking care of your father, it is time to get out and have time for yourself and your family.