Aurgument to Settle (Memphis: transplants, crime, houses)

[WOWAddict]

Hi All,

I have an argument to settle with someone. I have been looking to more from FL to TN for sometime but for obvious reasons (Housing Market, Job Market, etc) cannot at this time. My wife and I vowed to move before my little man starts school in 2012.

I bring this up to others down here and they are like why. I bring up cost of living, seasons, blah blah blah. The biggest reason we have for wanting to move is not only the school system down here (which various as it does everywhere) but the behavior of children down here. This person argues it is the same everywhere. I refuse to believe that. Sure incidents occur everywhere but it seems to be happening with more frequency recently.

Over the past 3 months in South Florida Schools there have been 3 stabbings, 1 fatal, 2 major fights, JUST ON THE NEWS, not to mention what has not been reported. And now this! Caution it is very disturbing.

Three boys charged in burning of Deerfield boy, 15 (http://www.palmbeachpost.com/localnews/content/state/epaper/2009/10/13/1013boyburned.html - broken link)

Are these incidents as common in TN? In the last 3 months how many school incidents have you heard of and what were they.

[mbmouse]

No. FL and TN are WAY different when it comes to average public school climates. Now, I am sure there are schools in TN that are in the bigger cities, Memphis, Nashville, etc that can and do have such issues, but it is still different. I lived in FL, (S.E.) and had my children there...they are actually 5th generation native Floridians (poor kids LOL!) but I knew within 3 weeks of my oldest being in kindergarten that we were moving ASAP. At the time I wasn't sure where, but we were getting out of Jupiter. Ended up in North East TN, We didn't have a site like CD at the time, so it took us 3 moved to 3 different towns to find just the right place for us. I have had my 2 boys in 3 different North East TN schools systems and one thing between them remains the same.....I do not worry constantly about their safety while at school. I do not feel like they have no choice but to acclimate to others just to stay safe. I can not tell you how many times over the years (my boys are now a senior and freshman in high school) I have walked through the halls of schools here and heard kids saying "Mame" and "Sir" to adults, "please, thank you, excuse me" and other politenesses with each other in between classes....sure there is still the swearing and snaky comments mixed in with it, but they are teen age kids! However the respect is still mixed in there. Are there drugs in the schools here? Yep, that is one thing that is like anywhere else, however the numbers are MUCH smaller and what drugs that are available is just a world of difference. Now I am not saying one drug is better than the other or anything like that, but somehow I feel a little better knowing the worst I am going to find in my kids school if searched from top to bottom and every kid searched and every car in the parking lot would be a little bit of marijuana or a zanex pill or two. In FL it was coke, crank, acid, uppers, downers, sidewaysers, you name it....and yes, I finished out high school in FL and that was way back then it was there. I have a 23 year old nephew who went to school in S.E.FL a bit north of where we were and a bit more recent. He felt that he had to wear what others were wearing, do what others were doing just to survive. My kids here have options and do not feel that way. If there are kids doing and acting ways they don't want to they have the option and ability to distance themselves from those kids. The amount of bad influence in these schools in this area is far out weighted by many other good choices and options. You also have to remember that with that comes some other things that you may not like your kids to be exposed to. 90% of the kids my boys go to school with are involved heavily in their perspective churches and those youth groups. We have prayer before football games, kids wear "Jesus loves me" and "God is great T'shirts to school. Sure there is a small bunch that says the opposite as well, but you get the point. I personally like that and yes, my kids love their youth group but I have been noticing some transplants that are a little taken a back by it all.
So all in all, have kids at my boys school been caught drinking on campus? Yes. Are there drugs in the schools? A small amount, yes. Are there bullies? Yes, however, if students are caught with these things, they only get caught once because they are usually expelled all together or finish out school at the alternative school.
The short answer to your question: Your friend is wrong, not all schools are the same. You can have the public school option and shield your kids a little bit from what goes on in some schools across this country that you hear about on the news.

[Travelingal2]

I concur with MBMouse. We moved here from FL and my boys (3rd grade & 7th grade) love it. I worked for the School Board in FL and saw WAY too much. LIFE IS BETTER IN TN.

[hiknapster]

That's the standard stock answer down there: "It's like that everywhere."

Mention that the people are rude down there. Nope, they say, it's like that everywhere.

More con artists, escaped criminals. It's like that everywhere.

People are crazy when they drive, cutting you off, honking horns and being very agressive. It's like that everywhere.

Kids have no respect and act like little gang-bangers. It's like that everywhere.

I have no idea if these people have their head in the sand or they really believe that, but it is not like that everywhere. It's not like that here.

I have a feeling, MBMOUSE, that the reason you are seeing some transplants that are taken aback is because they really didn't think places like that existed anymore. Well, they do.

But WOWAddict, have you been here before? If you have, then surely you know that what they are saying is not true.

People in Florida also seem to think that it's the greatest place on earth. To some it is, I guess, but not to me. Just before we moved, my husband's family kept teasing us, saying that we would be back in six months. I was astounded by that. I couldn't WAIT to get the heck out of there. I knew darn well I would never be back, unless on vacation, and even then the chances were slim.

Well, it's been four years, and I haven't been back since.

I think that people tend to become immune to that way of life. I thought it was like a freak-show almost the entire time I lived there.

Gosh, you can go to New York City and there will be crime and lots of bad things but you still have museums and plays and fabulous restaurants. To me, Florida offers nothing.

Oh wait, there's the fabulous weather. Cut me a break. It's horrible there. At least it was in swFlorida. Six months of brutal heat and humidity is not good weather.

[WOWAddict]

Yea we go up yearly to see my sister-in-law. Sure we love them and like to see them but we go up every year because we love the area.

Yea if you do not have family in Florida I see no reason to stay at all. I do love all the sunlight, that I would miss, but it is always hot. Today 90+ ITS OCTOBER!!!

[mbmouse]

pssst...The sunlight reaches TN too hehhehehehe

[WOWAddict]

lol you know what I mean. Not like it is here. I have not seen a cloudy day in months. Unfortunately there has only been 3 nice temperature days during that time to go out and enjoy it.

[maximus10]

I moved from Memphis to outside the Orlando area and moved right back as soon as possible. I spent about 3 months there and realized I needed to move back. The economy down there was really bad when compared to other places. I remember gas being about 1.20/gallon more expensive than what it was in Memphis. The houses are built smaller because of the hurricanes. Something I wasn't used to being from Tennessee. I told my friends and family that Florida is a nice place to visit but not the ideal place to live for some people.

[hiknapster]

I don't know how long you've been in Florida, OP, but after ten years of relentless sunlight I love cloudy skies.

I love the rain. We had a drought for the past 2 to 3 years, so I really looked forward to the rain. For the past several months, it seems, all it has done is rain. I still love it. There's nothing like curling up with a book and reading or watching movies all day. Rain is pretty.

Relentless sunlight is glaring and usually hot. It beats you down. When I look at street view on Google Maps of swFlorida sometimes it is hard to see the houses. It's glaring.

I didn't have to be convinced. I was bound and determined to get to Tennessee and nothing was going to stop me. I knew it was home. If you have to be talked into it, this may not be the place for you?

[AmberFlynn]

Even religiousity aside, I truly believe being in the 'Bible Belt' is what gives us the advantage. Now, I admit I'm a Christian and so I'm probably biased, but I think that no matter what your religious background, religious people tend to be more polite, caring, generous, respectful, etc.

Being an Air Force brat, I've lived all over the country, and even outside the country, and the Southern hospitality is what they say it is. As a general rule, parents are more involved in the children's education, we still spank our kids *gasp*, and we are taught to follow the golden rule. I think that the framework of religion makes us realize that we are not the center of the universe, we have less of an entitlement mentality, and take more personal responsibility (although that doesn't seem to translate to less public assistance). Obviously, you don't have to be religious to ascribe to basic character values...

My family who come to visit from other places (in the last few months I've had two from PA and five from CA) seem to draw the 'Bible Belt' connection as well -- and they represent the gamut of religiousity from Chrisitan to completely non-religious. Church is one of those places where we learn Community - where we live life together, and that makes for a better secular citizen, IMO. We learn honesty, integrity, stewardship, compassion, living life on purpose WITH OTHERS. Southerners tend to be more interested in community, being friendly, engaging others, helping and being helped. Maybe it's just a coincidence. I doubt it

***disclaimer: Obviously, you don't have to be religious to ascribe to basic character values... and yes, I know we have all met crabby jerk Christians who are mean, hateful, and rude***