Lesbian-friendly Texas (Houston, Dallas, San Antonio: how much, private school, living in)

[jasper12]

If you want to live an open lesbian lifestyle, and be part of a lesbian community, move to San Franscisco, New York, or Chicago. Every where else, it is pretty much underground, accepted, as long as you don't "flaunt" your lifestyle.

For example, live with your GF, but don't introduce her as your "partner".

[doctorjef]

Well, artsyguy is back badmouthing Austin. My partner and I lived in Austin for two separate stretches totaling almost 22 years. We were always "out" and certainly never had any real problems. There are thousands of lesbian couples in Austin, I'd say, based on general observation. I knew plenty who were social workers and therapists there. Lesbians have a strong presence in Austin, perhaps stronger than gay males. Austin is warmer and more liveable than Dallas, and less humid and more liveable (IMO) than Houston. Having said all this, I can also say that after moving away from Austin and Texas in 2004, my partner and I have been even more explicitly out while living in London and now in northern Delaware (yes, I know -- home of the crazy witch lady, Christine O'Donnell -- though she is actually from New Jersey). In other words, there are places where one can be more comfortably out than in urban Texas and those places even include the relatively provincial environs of Wilmington, Delaware.*

*(or maybe it's just our own evolution, in combination with the evolving acceptance of lesbian and gay folks in America generally)

[CptnRn]

Originally Posted by LinaJo76

Austin is more of a party type city. But lots of drunks and lots of arrests there for drunken disorderly, public intoxications, and assaults (as a result of drinking). Lots of bars and such. And there's always some drunks there ready to pick a fight with someone, especially a minority. So, that's not a good place to be if your lesbian, gay, or transgendered. Avoid it. Houston is your best bet.

Guess what, if you spend all of your time in bars on 6th Street you might encounter a few drunks. Austin is a great city with lots of other things to do besides drink. In 33 years of living in Austin, including working downtown for over 20 years, I have not experienced the drunkenness you describe here or even any rudeness as far as that goes. I have attended numerous festivals in the streets of Austin and never had a problem. I never feel at risk in any way walking around downtown.

Violent crime, including assaults, are very low in Austin, lower then most other Cities according to the FBI's statistics. United States cities by crime rate - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[doctorjef]

So true, CptnRn -- I tried to rep you for that, but the little message popped up saying I have to spread more rep around before repping you again (hate that restrictive feature of City-Data -- I haven't even been on the Texas forum in a couple of months).

[TexasHorseLady]

CptnRon, you said it! Reps to you! I've lived in Austin for 40 years. Heck, even on 6th Street (when I'd go down there to Maggie Mae's, or for Pecan Street Festival, or on the way to Chez Nous), I never had any problems, but Austin is only a party town if that's all you want to do or all you're capable of seeing. While, yes, any excuse for a party is an Austin attitude, that's more along the lines of the many festivals, most of which are fundraisers for one good cause or another, than an every day go out and get drunk on 6th Street thing. That's really only a tiny part of the city.

[blkgiraffe]

Originally Posted by SloopJohnZ

I completely disagree. This is still Texas, and any city you live in there are going to be ignorant people who will judge you based on your sexual orientation. Now, that's not to say you shouldn't be able to find friends, go to church, and have a good life, but this last sentence of, "Very few people will judge you because of what you do at home" couldn't be more false, and I'm sure the OP knows it based on life experience. I'm sure the OP would prefer a place where more people aren't going to judge her lifestyle. Her choices in Texas are pretty much Houston, Dallas, and Austin. And even in those three cities there are areas and neighborhoods that are much more tolerant than others.

The entire country still deals with homosexual issues. How can you forget the gay bashing that recently happened in NYC?? Texas isn't the only one guilty of this. Get rid of the played out stereotypes.

[justme02]

Originally Posted by SloopJohnZ

I completely disagree. This is still Texas, and any city you live in there are going to be ignorant people who will judge you based on your sexual orientation. Now, that's not to say you shouldn't be able to find friends, go to church, and have a good life, but this last sentence of, "Very few people will judge you because of what you do at home" couldn't be more false, and I'm sure the OP knows it based on life experience. I'm sure the OP would prefer a place where more people aren't going to judge her lifestyle. Her choices in Texas are pretty much Houston, Dallas, and Austin. And even in those three cities there are areas and neighborhoods that are much more tolerant than others.

I agree completely with this post.

Lets be honest with ourselves, this is Texas. Outside the major metro areas, this isnt the gay friendliest place. The majors are good, but outside that I wouldnt recommend it.

In Dallas, Houston, or Austin (and Fort Worth and San Antonio to a degree) the novelty of being gay has worn off. Elsewhere, I would not recomend it.

Its like the whole "Texas is becoming a blue or swing state" thing. Not it isnt. Outside the Rio Grande Valley, Austin proper, Dallas proper, Houston proper, and San Antonio proper, there is nothing blue about Texas. All the rural and suburban areas of Texas are red as it gets.

[blkgiraffe]

Originally Posted by justme02

I agree completely with this post.

Lets be honest with ourselves, this is Texas. Outside the major metro areas, this isnt the gay friendliest place. The majors are good, but outside that I wouldnt recommend it.

In Dallas, Houston, or Austin (and Fort Worth and San Antonio to a degree) the novelty of being gay has worn off. Elsewhere, I would not recomend it.

Its like the whole "Texas is becoming a blue or swing state" thing. Not it isnt. Outside the Rio Grande Valley, Austin proper, Dallas proper, Houston proper, and San Antonio proper, there is nothing blue about Texas. All the rural and suburban areas of Texas are red as it gets.

Sorry, but you have many lesbians living perfectly happily normal lives in smaller Texas cities. It's not like if you live in Tyler or Waco; you're harrassed or constantly tormented due to your sexuality. Areas like Amarillo, Abilene, Waco and others don't have gay clubs for nothing.

Would I reccommend these cities to a homosexual?? No, but they aren't as bad as people make them out to be. The whole "It's still Texas thing" is played out. You could move anywhere in this country as a homosexual and still be treated like ****.

In Waco; I grew up going to school with trannsexuals and homosexuals. My church choir consisted of them.

[doctorjef]

I have only very occasionally encountered some isolated disapproval or in a single instance an episode of discrimination as a partnered gay man in Texas between 1974-1980 and 1980-2004. These are all very remote in time now, dating back to the 1980s or just around 1990. Two of the instances took place in smaller cities or towns, one being Beaumont and the other Mineral Wells, and both were instigated by individual clerical and nursing staff who reported directly to me. It was on the level of mean-spirited rumour-mongering more than anything else. These were both immature, provincial young women. Neither instance amounted to much and in the more egregious of the two, I was actively defended by other administrative staff. The only active discrimination I've encountered occurred in Austin and had to do with losing out on a fairly modest consulting role with a Baptist-affiliated institution after one of its former staff whom I had never before encountered became the CEO of a secular charitable institution for which my partner was working and he took a dislike to my partner and I have little doubt poisened my relationship with the Baptist-run place, from whom I suddenly got no further referrals. Aside from that, I've felt a bad attitude on the part of a couple of Episcopal priests in the very conservative Episcopal Diocese of Fort Worth -- they were unfriendly and unwelcoming but that was the extent of it. I mention these incidents as examples of the sort of thing that I ever experienced as a partnered gay person in Texas -- pretty small potatoes really. I'm not sure that some of those incidents would even have arisen today -- possibly the one involving the Baptist religious bigot (not to say that all Baptists are homophobes, and Austin has some quite liberal Baptist congregations). BTW I understand that even Lubbock has an out lesbian in a prominent political position, on the school board if I recall correctly, so clearly things are evolving in a positive direction.

[Westerner92]

Originally Posted by doctorjef

I have only very occasionally encountered some isolated disapproval or in a single instance an episode of discrimination as a partnered gay man in Texas between 1974-1980 and 1980-2004. These are all very remote in time now, dating back to the 1980s or just around 1990. Two of the instances took place in smaller cities or towns, one being Beaumont and the other Mineral Wells, and both were instigated by individual clerical and nursing staff who reported directly to me. It was on the level of mean-spirited rumour-mongering more than anything else. These were both immature, provincial young women. Neither instance amounted to much and in the more egregious of the two, I was actively defended by other administrative staff. The only active discrimination I've encountered occurred in Austin and had to do with losing out on a fairly modest consulting role with a Baptist-affiliated institution after one of its former staff whom I had never before encountered became the CEO of a secular charitable institution for which my partner was working and he took a dislike to my partner and I have little doubt poisened my relationship with the Baptist-run place, from whom I suddenly got no further referrals. Aside from that, I've felt a bad attitude on the part of a couple of Episcopal priests in the very conservative Episcopal Diocese of Fort Worth -- they were unfriendly and unwelcoming but that was the extent of it. I mention these incidents as examples of the sort of thing that I ever experienced as a partnered gay person in Texas -- pretty small potatoes really. I'm not sure that some of those incidents would even have arisen today -- possibly the one involving the Baptist religious bigot (not to say that all Baptists are homophobes, and Austin has some quite liberal Baptist congregations). BTW I understand that even Lubbock has an out lesbian in a prominent political position, on the school board if I recall correctly, so clearly things are evolving in a positive direction.

Actually, it's a gay man that was recently promoted from principal of Lubbock High to Assistant Superintendent. Our new freeway is named after Marsha Sharp, a gay woman who led the women's basketball team at Tech to a national championship.