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Old 07-06-2011, 04:56 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX - Displaced Michigander
2,067 posts, read 5,955,311 times
Reputation: 839

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnybunz View Post
Rapunzel I smile plenty at those I know and love, my friends and family and on occasion folks with whom I REGURLARLY interact in a social setting. ( even if its fleeting, as long as its on an ongoing basis )

When exactly did " I dont see the point in meaningless fake smiling and conversating w/ strangers" become "I dont smile I am a Scrooge" ???

BOOYAH to those who would ASS-ume

I think you are confusing me with a grouch ALLOW ME TO CLARIFY : I save my smiles for those near and dear to me.
I'm hoping you are a troll, because you sound like a miserable person.

 
Old 07-06-2011, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Central Texas
20,958 posts, read 45,298,124 times
Reputation: 24740
Originally Posted by texashorselady
interesting that your assumption is that people who smile at you (whether at a check-out counter or walking down the street) are "faking it". Perhaps that's projection on your part, because that's what you would be doing if you smiled at someone else, faking it?


RESPONSE : If i am genuinely pleased to see them it wouldnt be fake, i assure you. It wouldnt be a lie as the smile would radiate from the inside out !

I assure you when i smile at someone, i'm not faking anything.


RESPONSE : Umm, really ???

Really.


Just expressing pleasure at seeing another human being, RESPONSE : the one that maybe just robbed a bank, beat their kid, stole your rocking chair off your front porch or hacked into your personal online accounts ? How naive are you, lady ? Or i should say how fake ???? Surely you might at least guess that the person you are faced with may not be mother teresa, huh ???

You're ASSuming the worst about your fellow man here. Surely you might at least guess that the person you are faced with is an honest, nice person, huh???

I'd say that ASSuming says more about you than the person you are faced with.


Perhaps feeling good about my day and wanting to bring just a tiny bit of sunshine to theirs, acknowledging their existence on the planet (how invasive!), nothing fake about any of that. RESPONSE : Once the two of you have made eye contact that is : By default an acknowledgement of each other's existence. Nothing more is needed.

Oh, heck, you can survive on bread and water, too. Nothing more is needed.


I'm not saying, most likely, that i want to be their best friend forever and take them home to dinner right this minute, but there's no fake meaning behind the smile. RESPONSE : If your not trying to be their friend then why bother ? Save the smiles for those you truly feel affection for, they will be more sincere that way !

So, you seem to think that you have a limited number of smiles, or that smiling at a person that you are not in love with is somehow insincere. Smiles mean any number of very nice things; too bad that somehow you've missed that essential fact in your life.

It's not necessary to be gruff and standoffish with people just because they're not your best friend. I do understand about being shy - i used to be terminally shy, myself. But i certainly didn't try to blame other people for my own problems, which this is beginning to sound like.

RESPONSE : nope, i just dont like forced interaction..

Smiling at another human being is not "forced interaction". That's just silly, or paranoid, or both. Or this whole thing is an attempt to stir the pot for your own amusement. I'd be hesitant to place a large bet either way.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 05:47 PM
 
Location: San Antonio TX
127 posts, read 277,089 times
Reputation: 114
[quote=sunnybunz;19904441]
When exactly did " I dont see the point in meaningless fake smiling and conversating w/ strangers" become "I dont smile I am a Scrooge" ???
/QUOTE]

If you don't like strangers then how do you make new friends? I love meeting new people. The more people to enrich my life and learn from. I met my husband on the city bus with just a smile and he was mine.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 06:01 PM
 
Location: san antonio texas
1,803 posts, read 2,617,654 times
Reputation: 623
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnybunz View Post
I get customer service. I'm familiar with the concept and dont have any argument with it. In fact I think its a good idea----
What I personally have beef with and is starting to irritate me (since I moved to Texas and has gotten steady worse) is that the employees, shop owners and other service personnell like waiters and counter-help etc expect you to be cheery/bouncy back to them too.
im there to pay them money for goods/service. all i expect is a professional attitude, nothing more. be knowledgeable in what youre selling, know the answers to most common questions is about all i expect.

more than that, keep it to yourself. idc if youre having a great day or if youre friend had another crotchfruit. dont care, wont ever care, keep it to yourself
 
Old 07-06-2011, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Texas
751 posts, read 1,476,224 times
Reputation: 1071
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnybunz View Post
OK, recent arrivals, Olympic style swimmers / runners whatever you want to call them. The not-yet-assimilated ones. They smile to each other, not to strangers. Sometimes I truly think they dont trust us Gringos !
I don't know where YOU live, but where I live in Texas, even the freshly arrived, "not-yet-assimilated ones" have for the most part been very friendly, and ready with a smile.

Of course if I were the kind of person that was unable to gladly hand out a smile to a stranger, I might feel as if I were untrusted.....
 
Old 07-06-2011, 07:34 PM
 
Location: Edmond, OK
4,030 posts, read 10,739,186 times
Reputation: 4247
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnybunz View Post
Wouldnt she go to jail for that ? Besides : you cannot FORCE someone to be "nice". Its either genuine or not. Sounds like your mother is very superficial AND abusive.
OMG, this is absolutely hilarious!!! I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS. MY SIDES HURT, I'VE LAUGHED SO HARD. It's called "MANNERS".

My lord, it's just an expression. Humor, you know. She would never actually back hand me, but she would have given me a swat on the behind if I had been so rude as to not speak to someone who was just being friendly.
She is one of the most genuinely friendly people you could ever meet, but you would hate her. She ran a retail business for many years, and always chatted with her customers because she liked people, oh and by doing so she made some nice friends, who actually would just stop back by to chat with her, even though, they weren't buying a thing.

The one thing I find interesting is that you said you are nice to people you know. My question is, how did you ever make friends with anyone, if you think everyone is being so fake?
 
Old 07-06-2011, 08:16 PM
 
10 posts, read 10,528 times
Reputation: 10
Save the smiles for those you truly feel affection for, they will be more sincere that way !

So, you seem to think that you have a limited number of smiles, or that smiling at a person that you are not in love with is somehow insincere. Smiles mean any number of very nice things; too bad that somehow you've missed that essential fact in your life.
OK, "affection" was meant in the sense of personally liking someone. If I patronize a place of business often enough over the course of a long period of time..... I will eventually like at least some people there. That is what was meant by "affection".
A smile usually means you sincerely like or care about someone and you've already admitted thats not what smiles mean in texas. apparently its just a "reflex"

Tell me this : If a man says "youre beautiful" to every single female age 13 to 99 doesnt that also take away any meaningful element of that statement ? He also has a lot of "your beautiful" 's in him, but the more its said; the less potent it becomes....
A lot of people say my smile lights up the room Thats b/c I dont throw it around.....its something rare and special...
 
Old 07-06-2011, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Edmond, OK
4,030 posts, read 10,739,186 times
Reputation: 4247
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnybunz View Post
Save the smiles for those you truly feel affection for, they will be more sincere that way !

So, you seem to think that you have a limited number of smiles, or that smiling at a person that you are not in love with is somehow insincere. Smiles mean any number of very nice things; too bad that somehow you've missed that essential fact in your life.
OK, "affection" was meant in the sense of personally liking someone. If I patronize a place of business often enough over the course of a long period of time..... I will eventually like at least some people there. That is what was meant by "affection".
A smile usually means you sincerely like or care about someone and you've already admitted thats not what smiles mean in texas. apparently its just a "reflex"

Tell me this : If a man says "youre beautiful" to every single female age 13 to 99 doesnt that also take away any meaningful element of that statement ? He also has a lot of "your beautiful" 's in him, but the more its said; the less potent it becomes....
A lot of people say my smile lights up the room Thats b/c I dont throw it around.....its something rare and special...
People say that because you obviously have what they perceive to be a nice smile, big smile, not because its something rare. Could you not light up a room with it all the time. Geez, its just a smile, it's not like your sleeping with them.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Central Texas
20,958 posts, read 45,298,124 times
Reputation: 24740
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnybunz View Post
Save the smiles for those you truly feel affection for, they will be more sincere that way !

So, you seem to think that you have a limited number of smiles, or that smiling at a person that you are not in love with is somehow insincere. Smiles mean any number of very nice things; too bad that somehow you've missed that essential fact in your life.
OK, "affection" was meant in the sense of personally liking someone. If I patronize a place of business often enough over the course of a long period of time..... I will eventually like at least some people there. That is what was meant by "affection".
A smile usually means you sincerely like or care about someone and you've already admitted thats not what smiles mean in texas. apparently its just a "reflex"

Tell me this : If a man says "youre beautiful" to every single female age 13 to 99 doesnt that also take away any meaningful element of that statement ? He also has a lot of "your beautiful" 's in him, but the more its said; the less potent it becomes....
A lot of people say my smile lights up the room Thats b/c I dont throw it around.....its something rare and special...
Not really. Some people (I've known them) have the capacity to see the beauty in everyone. I don't feel less flattered if someone like that tells me I'm beautiful (nor did I when it was more "conventionally" true), any more than I get my panties in a twist if someone has the audacity to (gasp!) SMILE at me!

As for that last statement? If you are reserving your smile so that you can get compliments for it, isn't that a hypocritcal use of it?

I've known people with smiles that light up a room. It's because they truly love people, and share their smile gladly and with an open heart. Not because it's rare for them to smile.
 
Old 07-06-2011, 10:02 PM
 
10 posts, read 10,528 times
Reputation: 10
TXHORSE LADY said "As for that last statement? If you are reserving your smile so that you can get compliments for it, isn't that a hypocritcal use of it? "


Moderator cut: see comment I didnt say I reserve my smile so I can get compliments for it ! I said - go back and read my post - that I reserve my smiles for people I feel affection for or have some type of connection with. A connection that FEELS special ! Unlike you; my smile isnt' a reflex, nor am I going "through the motions". Its sincere and genuine, and because its profound and actually attention catching people take notice and compliment me. It happens ! But it radiates from the inside out.

When someone smiles ALL the time; it loses its meaning and unique essence. If someone smiles too much no-one will notice it anymore, because its their default expression. However : when someone doesnt walk around like a grinning fool like you and then SINCERELY has an occasional expression of joy it makes it a LOT more potent...

PS : If there were roses EVERYwhere you looked; the sight of a rose would eventually lose its beauty and allure WOULDNT it ??? just like if EVERYone rolled an Escalade, their market value would go waaay down. I know this may be a hard concept for you to grasp....its called "the law of diminishing returns" and a physics book can explain it better than I can.....

Last edited by Bo; 07-07-2011 at 08:05 AM.. Reason: I explained this edit in the Direct Message I sent you.
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