Thangs I Learnt In Texas: (Houston, Dallas: house, to buy, high school)

[lonestar2007]

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.

Raccoons will test your melon crop, and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.

A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25; then it stops totally until October 2.

Onced and twiced are words.

Coldbeer is one word.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.

Fix-in-to is one word.

There ain't no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only breakfast, dinner and then there's supper.

'Sweetened ice tea' is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you are two.

Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you.

Jeet?' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done, or it's too dark to see.

You measure distance in minutes or hours.

You can switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.

Stores don't have bags. They have sacks.

You see cars with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in them, no matter what time of the year.


All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.

You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables for your own car.

You know what 'cow tipping' and 'snipe hunting' are.

You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Ketchup, and Tabasco.

You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages to cover Friday night high school football.

The first day of deer season is a state holiday.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You find 100 degrees a 'tad' warm.

The four seasons are: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.

You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as 'goin Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally-world.'

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili-eatin' weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor.

Texans understand these jokes. If you do too, forward them to your friends from Texas. If you don't just come and stay awhile.

[texasdreamin]

I loved it! One question though...How do you know which part of Texas someone is from when they talk? What is the difference?

[Tilar]

In East Texas, When someone is the last to leave the room you ask them to be sure to cut off the lights before they leave.

[lonestar2007]

I did think this was an enjoyable read, which was why I posted it. I was born and raised in Texas as were my parents and grandparents. I cannot tell a difference in speech except some people really try to put a twang on their words. I always thought it sounded so phony. Kinda like a movie star playing a role of a Texan and really trying to draw out their words and just sounding like a hick, if you ask me.

I don't think I have an accent, although people tell me I do. I know I don't go around trying to put a "twang" on my words or trying to sound like what some people's perception of how a Texan talks.

I do think people from West Texas are more reserved and clannish than people from East Texas. Mind you, this is just from my own personal experiences. I'm not saying this is how it is for sure, it's just been my experience with the people I know and have lived around. I'm also not saying this is a good or bad thing because it's neither, it's just what I've noticed from my own experiences. Some of my best friends were raised in West Texas and although it took awhile to get to know them, they are the best people in the world. What you call the salt of the earth. It was just a slower process of our friendships developing, but it made them solid as rock and lasting forever.

This is also not to say the friendships I have in East Texas are not just as good. They are. It's just that right off the bat, people in East Texas seem more open, gab up a storm about anything, etc. It also could be that I've never lived in West Texas and I have lived in East Texas and still have a lot of kinfolks down there. I lived in North Central Texas now and have friends who live in the Central area of Texas, South Texas (San Antone), and East Texas, so this really makes it nice. I guess this is a long, drawn out way of saying, I, for one, cannot tell what region of Texas a person is from by how they talk.

[texasdreamin]

I was in Hill Country (SA, Spring Branch/Canyon Lake) in November and I was so surprised that I didn't hear very deep accents (which I absolutely love). Some didn't have accents, at all.

[jfre81]

It's possible to grow up in a big city like Houston or Dallas and form an accent that sounds nothing like Texas at all. Too many external influences.

[tgannaway89]

I did not understand any of that. Melon crops and razor wire? And that entry about using a leaf as toilet paper? That is not humorous, it is disgusting. Alas, the only statement I found to be remotely true is the fact that many Texans do refer to all carbonated beverages as "Coke". I'm not sure what part of Texas you live in, but I don't plan on visiting. Those remarks are reprehensible and bring disgrace to Texas.

[jfre81]

Originally Posted by tgannaway89

I did not understand any of that. Melon crops and razor wire? And that entry about using a leaf as toilet paper? That is not humorous, it is disgusting. Alas, the only statement I found to be remotely true is the fact that many Texans do refer to all carbonated beverages as "Coke". I'm not sure what part of Texas you live in, but I don't plan on visiting. Those remarks are reprehensible and bring disgrace to Texas.

Let's say for a minute that you have a sense of humor - in what part of you is it located?

[tgannaway89]

Originally Posted by jfre81

Let's say for a minute that you have a sense of humor - in what part of you is it located?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say somewhere in the brain, but I am not well versed in neuroscience. I have what is called a mature sense of humor. It is a sense of humor that isn't easily aroused by jokes involving topics such as flatulence or feces. Usually people over the age of 12 develop a mature sense of humor, obviously not everyone.

[texasdreamin]

Oh gawd...I still laugh at flatulence. Such funny noises.