Moving to McAllen Texas from Indiana (Brownsville, Harlingen: rent, big house, neighborhood)

[kabrown]

I'm wanting to get information about living in the McAllen Texas area. My husband has accepted a position with a company in the Reynosa area. We are from Indiana and have 2 girls who are 12 and 10. My concern is how well we will be accepted especially our blond haired blue eyed children. My husband and I are excited about this opportunity, but don't know if it is a good move for the kids. They are active in their schools that they currently attend. The oldest is a cheerleader and does swimming and diving. The youngest one is a competitive dancer. I don't want to offend anyone, but I know if we move we will be the minority and I don't want my kids to feel lonely and unaccepted. If anyone could give me any great advice I would be very grateful. My husband and I are very confused and not sure if it is the right move for our family.

[TexasNick]

Hi kabrown,
Do a search in this forum ...you can find the search button at the top of this page. Type in 'McAllen' and you'll get a ton of links. That should be all you need. lots of people were in your shoes and asked the same questions.

To save you some of the groundwork, the gist of these threads come down to the following points:

• a bit of culture shock, but not too bad
• 90% hispanic
• extremely humid - mild winters
• flat flat terrain
• a poor region of the state
• birding paradise
• variety of restaurants
• great shopping
• good hospitals
• low cost of living
• large % of newcomers do not like the area and end up moving

Hope that helps.

[NOTAM]

i personally feel very very uncomfortable in South Texas, being a blonde blue eyed anglo female...definitely dont feel like i could ever "mesh" with the community, get involved with civic activities etc....it is just overwhelmingly hispanic, and for the most part, they keep to themselves, from my experience.
however, i DO want to say ONE thing about McAllen, that i KNOW of, being in the medical field-their hospitals are some of the best, esp the Heart Hospital.

as a North Texan, i have lived in South Texas just about a year now, and it took less than one month to realize that this was not going to be the place i would hang my hat, buy a house. and i am 2 hours north of the border! i cant even IMAGINE what a culture shock it would be to be in McAllen and the border cities/towns. i dont even want to know

i hate to say this, but i think yall would be in for a VERY VERY big culture shock from where yall are coming from. the only reason i have even been able to somewhat tolerate it, survive it, is that it is my home state....but if i were coming from let's say New England or Midwest, oh heck no.
have you even VISITED McAllen? i am willing to bet that if yall do, your husband and family will reconsider strongly............
no offense to those who love the Rio Grande Valley, but it just aint for everyone, thats all. life is difficult enough, but when you are a very small minority, even little things can be a challenge............

[teatime]

If you decide to give it a go, do NOT buy a house. Rent for at least a year and then reassess. Your kids are near the tough "middle school age" and they may have a hard time moving into that community. I tolerated the RGV but my son had a horrible time of it and the incessant name-calling and physical violence really affected his self-esteem and sense of worth. I still feel guilty for not moving us away from it but I had bought a house and felt tied to the area.

Good luck!

[kabrown]

Thank you so much for your input. My husband has signed a 6 month contract to try his new position before we make the move, but I think he really wants to move permenantly. He has visited the area for 4 days and thinks what he saw was pretty nice. I wouldn't have a problem moving if it was just me and him, but I am extremely worried about the kids. I agree that they are at a tough age and I don't want their self confidence to be affected by name calling or even worse, physical violence against them. They are happy outgoing children and I don't want that to change. We currently live in a University town of about 67,000 people. The schools they currently attend have alot of diversity and they have never had any problems, but they have never been the minority. Is the Harlingen area any better?

[RGV]

The school districts are about the same. I believe the Sharyland ISD, which is right next to McAllen, is better but you should check the stats.

Check out this site for info:

Welcome to the Texas Education Agency


This section within the above site will give you info on how the schools and districts did on the TAKS test:

2007 Accountability: List by District

[teatime]

Yes, I think Harlingen would be better, actually. It's a smaller town and seems to have more diversity. Harlingen South is a really good high school, from what I've heard.

In fact, when I was teaching at a private school in Brownsville, I became friends with the family of one of my students and they moved him from the private school to Harlingen South! The dad was a diplomat and they had lived all over the world, including Romania, but the kids were having difficulty in the Brownsville private school. They lived in Harlingen so they decided to give the Harlingen schools a try and were very pleased. They lived in the Treasure Hills neighborhood, which is lovely.

[TexasNick]

Originally Posted by teatime

Yes, I think Harlingen would be better, actually. It's a smaller town and seems to have more diversity. Harlingen South is a really good high school, from what I've heard.

In fact, when I was teaching at a private school in Brownsville, I became friends with the family of one of my students and they moved him from the private school to Harlingen South! The dad was a diplomat and they had lived all over the world, including Romania, but the kids were having difficulty in the Brownsville private school. They lived in Harlingen so they decided to give the Harlingen schools a try and were very pleased. They lived in the Treasure Hills neighborhood, which is lovely.

Can you tell me more about the "Brownsville private school" difficulty? You could PM me if you want. I am curious because I went to school there and enjoyed it almost more than college, lol.

[teatime]

Nick, it's simple, really. That school isn't for everyone. This young man came in as a sophomore, having been educated in Europe. He didn't know anyone, was a very serious student, and not given to frivolity. The other kids didn't like him and he didn't feel sufficiently challenged academically. The public schools allow students to attend college courses part of the day and have a much bigger selection of courses. It was a better fit.

That is a difficult school to move into mid-stream. Most of those kids followed a progression from their parochial schools into it. The parents know and socialize with each other, too. I got to know this family well because the parents spoke at length to me about how miserable their son was and how they didn't feel part of the school community as few people would speak to them, either.

I'm glad you enjoyed it; many do. But some don't. I sent my son there for 7th and 8th grades and he hated it. He has a learning disability and the other kids called him "stupid" and "poor white trash" because we don't have a big house and lots of money. It began the ruin of his self-esteem. Not cool. I figured that if he was going to be picked on anyway, I might as well save the tuition and fees and return him to public school where he would also get special services due to his LD.

[MidwesternBookWorm]

Moving from the Midwest to the Rio Grande Valley under any circumstances is a challenge. Moving with late-elementary/early-middle school age kids.... eekers. That's gonna be rough on all of you.

Spouse and I moved to the Valley in 1981, and our kids were born there in 1983 and 1985. "Natives" notwithstanding, they had a rough time in school as long as we lived there. They were a couple of tall, blue-eyed, blond-haired Agnostic liberal kids in a region that was anything but.

My son was in fights throughout middle school, a result of the harassment and name-calling from other kids. One of his teachers called him and his parents stupid idiots, in front of the rest of the class, because we as a family do not believe in a deity. That was a public school, by the way, not a private or religious one.

The daughter encountered even more challenging aspects about life in the Valley. At age 14, she served as a Dama at a friend's Quinceanera. Within a year, the honoree at the occasion and at least four of the other Damas were either pregnant or mothers. There is a certain segment of the male population that appears to take pride in, ah, introducing young ladies to certain activities that their parents would rather they not encounter until they are older. Be forewarned.

If you are destined to make this move, take your daughters on visits to as many school districts as you can. Talk to students, the teachers, counselors, principals, and, most important, the coaches. Coaches in a Texas school are The Most Important People in the district. They make as much or more than the superintendant, and whatever they want, they get. If your daughters are active and proficient in sports, or in one of the activities that are perceived to be related to and in support of sports (e.g. cheerleading or band), they are likelier to be accepted in the district. If they're bookish kids who are happier in a library than on an athletic field, you, and they, are in for trouble.

Of the districts that have been mentioned in the thread so far, I'd suggest that you look at Sharyland first. Students in that district tend to be somewhat more likely to be Anglo and not impoverished, so while your daughters will still be in the minority, they won't be among the 10% or so of Anglo kids in the whole district.

I strongly encourage your spouse not to make any immediate long-term commitment to staying in the region. In this day and age, most employers understand that it isn't about moving one person, it's the whole family; if the family isn't happy, the employee won't be either, and that has a significant and deleterious effect on job performance.

Good luck - you'll all need it.