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Thanks for explaining yourself a little further about your comment. It is unfortunate that people can't just appreciate where they are, when they're there, even become a part of the community, if they're invited to. Believe me, that wasn't my attitude when I moved here. I loved Texas and couldn't wait to get embedded and consider myself a Texan.
Maybe I should explain better my viewpoint on the "pride in our state" thing. I think it's great that Texans are proud of themselves and their state. More states (or I guess I mean people) should be able to appreciate where they come from and what their background is. I am proud of where I came from, I'm proud of what we've made of ourselves and our family. I'm proud of who I am and what I believe in. But none of that pride has effected another person in a negative way. I meant to speak of the people who are so proud they shun anyone from outside the state. See, I really wanted to become a Texan, realizing this would have been more of an honorary thing, but because I wasn't Texan, I was reminded, by more than one person living around here, that I would never be because I was a damn yankee, and that there is something wrong with being from the north. That's the pride I speak of. Be proud of who you are and where you're from all you want, but don't call me a derogatory name just because I wasn't born south of the Red River (I don't me you. Again, this is all in conjuction with the experience I've had here, which is why I began posting on this thread to being with).
I have to say I love your comment about being born here "by the Grace of God." My husband was born and raised in a county north of where I was, and it really is beautiful up there. He used to always kid me about his being from "God's country". It always made me laugh, because I secretly agree with him. but this is another good point to make. He was kidding, not only in his tone but his mannerisms, so I know when someone is kidding me and when they aren't. Also, he has never, ever, said this to anyone in my family or my circle of friends, and certainly not to our neighbor who moved next to us from out of state. In fact, because of the person he is, he's never said it to anyone else outside his family and friends, who also grew up there. It's just a joke, therefore it stays with the people he knows understands that.
I don't not not like Texas, and for that matter Texans. I'm simply giving a Northerner's (I use this tern because that's how those polite ones down here describe me as) opinion based on my viewpoint. I have nothing against the state, only those who acted criminally and inhumanely against me. If you were to ever visit my home state, I would hope you would never have the experiences I've had. If you did, I'd be ashamed of those people. But I do realize bad people live everywhere, which is why I haven't given up on Texas. I'm an optomist. Maybe some people around here wish I would take there hint and head back north. But there are others who appreciate me, and for that I'll stay. At least until my husband finds out if he's being transfered further into Texas.
Thank-you for taking the time to share that with us..you had a lot of courage..sorry you had to go through that too.
I know plenty of Texans and we all smile or nod at each other and strangers too when they look our way. This is not to say we go around with a mindless grin plastered on our faces all the time or that we have to smile at everything. We do not always have a pleasant demeanor, we have bad days as well as anybody, but on the whole I believe Texans are a pretty friendly bunch. I don't think this makes us any less real. As far as coming up to somebody, being all loud, the Texans I know are for the most part, some of the most soft spoken people you will ever run across. I guess I'm very fortunate to have been born here, love it here, so stayed here all my life. I would hate to have to live somewhere with a chip on my shoulder.
Laura, I smile much more than some people I know from here. I'm friendly, my husband will say too friendly. He can spot a fake person a mile away when I would say, "Hang on. Give 'em a chance." My entire family is this way. We grew up around people from our state and not from our state, and the favorite saying about my dad is that he'd talk to the cusspost if the cusspost talked back.
It's not the lack of smile that's real, it's the entire package. The sentiment, the smile, the words, even the sizing-up. And everyone sizes everyone up when they first meet them. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying that Northerner's don't ACT like they're not sizing you up. They realize you're doing the same thing to them and they not only accept it, they welcome it. This is a cultural difference which southerners don't understand, then take as an offense when the northerner isn't meaning it as an offense. Splitting hairs over what is polite and what is not, or who had the most manneristic upbringing shouldn't be a topic at all because, I assure you, no one I know would purposely be rude to anyone they don't know just because they assume (or they've been told) they're from the south, no matter what their upbring.
The point is, we have all had good and bad experiences everywhere. This thread was initially about anyone not liking anyone from Texas. Please don't pick apart my opinion. I'm not trying to put you or anyone else on the offensive. I can't help that I had these experiences while living in Texas. I could have moved to a different neighborhood and had the best experience ever, but it didn't happen that way. And before you thinkk I live in a slum, I live in one of the more affluent subdivisions.
Something that might make you understand where I'm coming from better--I currently live in a small city (about 13,000 pop.). There has been a lot of debate, well...really no debate at all to it. Big cities are a completely different experience than small towns, and this place has a definite small town mentality. I have said this before, but maybe I should say it again--I realize not all Texans act the way some of them here have acted towards me and other pople not from here. I'll also tell you that over the past seven years I have met more friends who live in the metro Dallas area than here. I'm just not made out for small town Texas living. I grew up in a citiy and spent seven years in a town a third the size of this town, then here. This has been, by far, the worst experience I've had, so I do have some people that I don't like in Texas. As I said before, they haven't completely tainted my opinion of texans. I've met some whom I know I'll have a relationship with for the rest of my life, but that's not what this thread was about.
Again, I appreciate your question, I know it's something some people don't understand about the north. I'm not going to defend the North on a Texas thread, that's not what I'm trying to do. if people want to think the worst of all Northerners because of their experience, it's their right to do so. I don't hold my experiences against all Texans, so I don't think my opinions should upset anyone.
Chitty, I didn't know I had the courage until I went through it. I had a police officer living on the next street over, and if it had not been for him telling me smart things to do, I never would have the evidence I had, and the whole town would have thought I was a crazy northerer. I still pray for those people, and hope that they get the help they need before they ruin their lives and those of their families. One of them has small children, and I worry about them. But I will honsetly say, I hope my husband does get this transfer. We would live in a bigger city, with more open-mindedness and opportunities for our children. I will not miss this place, but I will miss those who stood beside me and gave me a chance.
lonestar2007, I don't have a chip on my shoulder. Did you not read my posts? I am still embracing Texans, even after the hell some of them put me through.
Again, this thread is about NOT liking texans, not about how wonderful they are. And they are.
I'll give you some examples of the not-so-criminal kind. before my husband took his job, he called the local DMV to ask a question and the woman who answered told him she knew all about him already. This freaked him out. The whole town was already talking about us, not in a bad way, but they were already in our business.
the realtor thought my husband said he was a softball coach. When the people in our neighborhood found out he wasn't, one of them turned his nose up at us because we weren't "sports oriented".
A lady stopped me in a grocery store about a month after we moved here. She played with my daughter a bit and talked to me. She was nice and friendly, and I appreciated this. She next asked me where we went to church and I told her we hadn't found one yet, that we were Lutheran, and she pulled her hand away from my daughter and told me she'd pray for me and my salvation.
There was another occiasion I was told I was going to hell for writing romance novels, this from a woman whom the whole town just had to fill us in on the gossip about her getting fired from a teaching position after getting caught in the janitor's closet with another teacher. She was married.
One neighbor called me a damn yankee, and I mentioned how that wasn't fair, I didn't fight any war. he won't even call me by y name anymore, just Damn Yankee, laughing the whole time.
This is just the experiences I can come up with off the top of my head. This is what I call rude and not real. I didn't want to have to spell it out for you, but you're taking way too much ofense, and trying to offend me by saying I have a chip on my shoulder.
To borrow a phrase from an earlier poster, Geez, you're taking this way too far. Can we just agree to disagree?
Ahhh, Texas. I have lived there in the past and it is very much its own little microcosm.
It's pretty conservative for the most part and people will accept you if you fit their idea of what's ok. I think KewGee pretty much nailed Texas right on the head.
The hospitality is overrated and often fake. "God bless your heart" is normally an insult in Texas. It means "You're a moron."
I really don't understand the pretension in Dallas. There's a certain elitism that you find in Northern Texas and it's hard to comprehend. I didn't find it to be as prevalent in Southern or West Texas. One person explained Dallas to me as being a city full of "Thousandaires". I think it's the perfect description and could explain why Dallas has one of the higher foreclosure rates in the country. It's all about image.
I believe that Dallas wants to be Los Angeles and/or NYC, but can't. I definitely don't think tranplants have anything to do with it. I've heard native Texas use this as an excuse in the past. I'm talking about natives here. The people are pretty cookie-cutter in terms of looks. You must fit in.
The other thing that I've noticed about native Texans is a lack of culture and worldliness. For the most part, they really don't seem to travel outside of Texas much, unless you consider the out of state trip to grandma's house. I think this in part explains the "Texas is the biggest and best" mentality that is so prevalent. It's easy to think that when you don't travel anywhere else. Of course, you have the good 'ol boys/rednecks in podunk. Some are ok, some are not. Just depends. The only cure for that is more diversity in an area in my humble op.
Conversely, you have good people in Texas as well. They are authentic and real people.
Good Christians who live what they preach, not pretenders who will curse you out on the highway and say 'God Bless You' when you sneeze.
Actually, that's a perfect description of much of Texas. Curse you out on the highway, tell you 'God Bless You' when you sneeze.
all of what your saying is soooo true, they even named one of there highway's in the metroplex after the famous I-5..but they call high-5..lol..wow you really nailed it.
lonestar2007, I don't have a chip on my shoulder. Did you not read my posts? I am still embracing Texans, even after the hell some of them put me through.
Again, this thread is about NOT liking texans, not about how wonderful they are. And they are.
I'll give you some examples of the not-so-criminal kind. before my husband took his job, he called the local DMV to ask a question and the woman who answered told him she knew all about him already. This freaked him out. The whole town was already talking about us, not in a bad way, but they were already in our business.
the realtor thought my husband said he was a softball coach. When the people in our neighborhood found out he wasn't, one of them turned his nose up at us because we weren't "sports oriented".
A lady stopped me in a grocery store about a month after we moved here. She played with my daughter a bit and talked to me. She was nice and friendly, and I appreciated this. She next asked me where we went to church and I told her we hadn't found one yet, that we were Lutheran, and she pulled her hand away from my daughter and told me she'd pray for me and my salvation.
There was another occiasion I was told I was going to hell for writing romance novels, this from a woman whom the whole town just had to fill us in on the gossip about her getting fired from a teaching position after getting caught in the janitor's closet with another teacher. She was married.
One neighbor called me a damn yankee, and I mentioned how that wasn't fair, I didn't fight any war. he won't even call me by y name anymore, just Damn Yankee, laughing the whole time.
This is just the experiences I can come up with off the top of my head. This is what I call rude and not real. I didn't want to have to spell it out for you, but you're taking way too much ofense, and trying to offend me by saying I have a chip on my shoulder.
To borrow a phrase from an earlier poster, Geez, you're taking this way too far. Can we just agree to disagree?
woot woot! I don't mean to take side's but well said.
Laura, I smile much more than some people I know from here. I'm friendly, my husband will say too friendly. He can spot a fake person a mile away when I would say, "Hang on. Give 'em a chance." My entire family is this way. We grew up around people from our state and not from our state, and the favorite saying about my dad is that he'd talk to the cusspost if the cusspost talked back.
It's not the lack of smile that's real, it's the entire package. The sentiment, the smile, the words, even the sizing-up. And everyone sizes everyone up when they first meet them. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying that Northerner's don't ACT like they're not sizing you up. They realize you're doing the same thing to them and they not only accept it, they welcome it. This is a cultural difference which southerners don't understand, then take as an offense when the northerner isn't meaning it as an offense. Splitting hairs over what is polite and what is not, or who had the most manneristic upbringing shouldn't be a topic at all because, I assure you, no one I know would purposely be rude to anyone they don't know just because they assume (or they've been told) they're from the south, no matter what their upbring.
The point is, we have all had good and bad experiences everywhere. This thread was initially about anyone not liking anyone from Texas. Please don't pick apart my opinion. I'm not trying to put you or anyone else on the offensive. I can't help that I had these experiences while living in Texas. I could have moved to a different neighborhood and had the best experience ever, but it didn't happen that way. And before you thinkk I live in a slum, I live in one of the more affluent subdivisions.
Something that might make you understand where I'm coming from better--I currently live in a small city (about 13,000 pop.). There has been a lot of debate, well...really no debate at all to it. Big cities are a completely different experience than small towns, and this place has a definite small town mentality. I have said this before, but maybe I should say it again--I realize not all Texans act the way some of them here have acted towards me and other pople not from here. I'll also tell you that over the past seven years I have met more friends who live in the metro Dallas area than here. I'm just not made out for small town Texas living. I grew up in a citiy and spent seven years in a town a third the size of this town, then here. This has been, by far, the worst experience I've had, so I do have some people that I don't like in Texas. As I said before, they haven't completely tainted my opinion of texans. I've met some whom I know I'll have a relationship with for the rest of my life, but that's not what this thread was about.
Again, I appreciate your question, I know it's something some people don't understand about the north. I'm not going to defend the North on a Texas thread, that's not what I'm trying to do. if people want to think the worst of all Northerners because of their experience, it's their right to do so. I don't hold my experiences against all Texans, so I don't think my opinions should upset anyone.
Chitty, I didn't know I had the courage until I went through it. I had a police officer living on the next street over, and if it had not been for him telling me smart things to do, I never would have the evidence I had, and the whole town would have thought I was a crazy northerer. I still pray for those people, and hope that they get the help they need before they ruin their lives and those of their families. One of them has small children, and I worry about them. But I will honsetly say, I hope my husband does get this transfer. We would live in a bigger city, with more open-mindedness and opportunities for our children. I will not miss this place, but I will miss those who stood beside me and gave me a chance.
I see myself in your shoes more and more, the thing that get's me is people up north don't talk about this kind of stuff..it's silly..we don't have to compensate to prove who we are. That's why I guess I'm a extremely private person. I lived in a house for over 7 years in Texas never knew my neighbors..some what on them some what on me. It doesn't bother me either I get out have fun but I know who to hang out with and who not to. Good luck on if you guys move. And being in a big city is so fun
I know plenty of Texans and we all smile or nod at each other and strangers too when they look our way. This is not to say we go around with a mindless grin plastered on our faces all the time or that we have to smile at everything. We do not always have a pleasant demeanor, we have bad days as well as anybody, but on the whole I believe Texans are a pretty friendly bunch. I don't think this makes us any less real. As far as coming up to somebody, being all loud, the Texans I know are for the most part, some of the most soft spoken people you will ever run across. I guess I'm very fortunate to have been born here, love it here, so stayed here all my life. I would hate to have to live somewhere with a chip on my shoulder.
yeah and what about the waving thing?..when I first moved to Texas I was scared..some guy waved at me I asked my Mom who was that?..she said nobody they just are friendly..so I got used to it..now I wave..lol..but I get some funny looks now..so I just do it to get a laugh. Mindless grins are the best they really confuse folks. Oh and you have never met me and I'm one of the coolest people you'd ever meet, I'm not Texan....people that are not from a particular place (transplants) should keep this saying in mind...very old saying will help you as for the Texan's too if your ever in another country or state..here it is..
When in Rome, do as the Romans do .
it's not changing who YOU are it's just adapting, completely normal..and recommended if you plan on living somewhere other then your home town city.
Very true, Chitty, about the when in Rome statement.
When my husband got the job offer, it was one of those moments where we knew we were supposed to go. I embraced the move, knowing that good things were going to come of it. And they have. It hasn't all been bad. We've grown, and God has shown me a side of myself I never thought I had. I owe alot to this move, this experience, and that includes the bad people, the ones I don't like. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't know my own strength.
I got the wave down pretty quick. When my parens first visited, they were like, "You already know everyone?" Now they wave too.
I like to think I'm cool. I have gotten more private in the past few years, but I'm trying to venture out more. I'm really comfortable with my close friends.
As for the accent, I think it's heartwarming. My kids were very young when we moved, so they talk southern now. We LOVE the food, way too much. I'm not sure if I like authentic or Tex-Mex Mexican better. The schools system we're in is really good. I'd love to have more music and arts in the schools, but again, it's a small town and alot of that has to do with tax dollars.
Chitty, have you been down here for seven years as well? What part of Texas? I live in the piney woods.
This whole thing is beginning to sound like a novel, Peyton Place, perhaps. Certainly didn't realize in this day and age, with people leading such active and busy lives, such behavior actually existed.
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