Advice for Those Moving from New Jersey to Brownwood, TX (Dallas: credit, student loans)

[jersey_girl]

Be prepared to be bored out of your friggin' mind.

My boyfriend and I moved here because he got a job with Kohler and it has been a nightmare for me. I do have a college degree, but there are no jobs for young, educated women unless you are an engineer. EVERY single woman I have met in the year I've been here (with the exception of two, who were, you guessed it, engineers), including those younger than me (read: teenagers) have at least one child already, and are married church-going folk. No one looks slanty-eyed at a nineteen-year-old married mother of two. So, how many friends have I made since I came here a year ago? NONE. And it's not that I don't try.

There aren't any clubs here, and there are two "bars" but nothing like what you'd find in New Jersey. The whole town basically shuts down at 5pm, and it's pretty dead before 5pm, too. Sometimes, my significant other and I will walk around town, and no matter when we go for a walk there is not a single other living soul on the streets. Not ONE. There is a college in the area, but it was only recently accredited and you have to be a practicing baptist to attend. It is nothing like Rutgers or NJIT, that's for damn sure. And the two graduate programs you can attend there will lead you to a fulfilling life...in the clergy. So, if you're looking to further educate yourself, be prepared for a five-hour round-trip commute to Austin.

There's a church every other block, which is great...because I do my laundry on Sunday mornings now, when I can use five washers (ceramic engineering is dirty, dirty work) without feeling guilty because the whole town has gone to worship.

And you won't find any ShopRite, FoodTown, or Whole Foods here. Hell, you won't even find a Best Buy. When we wanted to buy a TV, we had to travel to the nearest town of Abilene (three-hour round-trip commute) to go to Best Buy and get it.

Twenty-years-old, three-children, proud stay-at-home mama? No slanty-eyed looks for you. But you do get the slanty-eyed look if you request to earn more than eight dollars an hour for any job that isn't factory work (ten to fifteen hour days) or you're not an engineer. That's fantastic if you're a recent high-school grad or a bored "Proud Stay-at-Home Mama!" (as so many myspace pages from woman in the area list as their careers, and I'm not joking, look yourself), but really blows when you're paying down student loans from New Jersey and are used to getting paid $10/hour for simple, no-diploma-required, secretarial work (as I was).

Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend makes more than enough money to support me and the children we plan on having a year or so shy of my thirtieth birthday, but what's to do around here if you don't work?

NOTHING.

Brownwood blows. I could see myself retiring here, but a young person with any ambition beyond bare-foot and pregnant will not find it welcoming after a week.


Oh, and there aren't any trees. They said there were trees when we asked them about it, but they call large shrubberies "trees" because they don't know what real trees are.

I did see my first-ever buffalo here, though. And one of my boyfriend's co-workers did offer to give us a pet goat.

Seriously.

[beowulf7]

I had no idea where Brownwood is until I looked it up on Google Maps. It's 2.5 hrs. SW of FW (151 miles). Did your b/f research the area before he accepted the job there? If the place is so boring, relocate into a city, like Dallas, FW, Ausitn, etc. I moved from NJ to FW in 2006. Downtown is quite lively. Granted, it's not like NYC or Philly, but it's not hicksville like the way you describe Brownwood. Good luck.

[jersey_girl]

He researched and even visited a few times. He LOVES it here. But he is the type quite content to do absolutely nothing for months at a time. Of course, he loves it pretty much anywhere. He is just perfectly content doing anything anywhere. He is a weirdo. That's why I love him.

When I start getting really depressed, I do go to Austin, which does remind me a lot of Jersey. Dallas/FW area we both like, too. It just seems unfair of me to make him do a commute from Austin to Brownwood just so I can get a job and friends. He's eligible to relocate in February (supposedly). I'm researching Kohler, WI, which is at least near some forms of civilization.

The people at Kohler Co.-Brownwood did tell him, and he did tell me before we moved, that some people have trouble adjusting to Brownwood when they've come from the northeast. We thought they meant the weather.

[hamjeepr]

Brownwood is a nice quite community based around family and family values. People are content to make basic money here because you can buy a house for a great price and the cost of living is low. It is a place you go when your tired of the crap in the city. Sounds like you and your boyfriend are not on the same plain.

[jersey_girl]

With all due respect, the cost of living is low if you've lived in Brownwood and have never left. No one who has graduated from college (even a college in Texas) with any degree other than engineering (or a medical school degree) can expect to live here and survive with the measly wages available.

I have also had several women comment on the fact that I was in my nearly-mid-twenties and was not yet married, with children, and how odd that was. I won't even bring up the homophobia I've encountered here.

"Family" and "family values" aside, this town does not find anything wrong with children (and an eighteen-year-old is known as "barely legal" for a reason) having children as long as they get hitched. I agree that it is "a place you go when your tired of the crap in the city"--that definition is the same one applied to towns that you go to for a week's vacation or to die, contentedly, of old age. It is not a place that anyone who wasn't a farmer or had grown up in a city (or even a large town) could live without morbid depression setting in, and it is certainly not friendly at all to young, unmarried, educated women seeking the same rights as their young, unmarried, educated boyfriends. And that's not in my head, employers have told me as much when I asked.

[Cathy4017]

Originally Posted by jersey_girl

With all due respect, the cost of living is low if you've lived in Brownwood and have never left. No one who has graduated from college (even a college in Texas) with any degree other than engineering (or a medical school degree) can expect to live here and survive with the measly wages available.

I have also had several women comment on the fact that I was in my nearly-mid-twenties and was not yet married, with children, and how odd that was. I won't even bring up the homophobia I've encountered here.

"Family" and "family values" aside, this town does not find anything wrong with children (and an eighteen-year-old is known as "barely legal" for a reason) having children as long as they get hitched. I agree that it is "a place you go when your tired of the crap in the city"--that definition is the same one applied to towns that you go to for a week's vacation or to die, contentedly, of old age. It is not a place that anyone who wasn't a farmer or had grown up in a city (or even a large town) could live without morbid depression setting in, and it is certainly not friendly at all to young, unmarried, educated women seeking the same rights as their young, unmarried, educated boyfriends. And that's not in my head, employers have told me as much when I asked.

Your first bitter post here mentioned MARRIED 19 year olds with children, and 18 year olds who get pregnant and then get married.

So.....you're saying that it is acceptable for unmarried women to have children out of wedlock as long as they are educated and in their 20s, such as yourself?

If your children are the result of a former marriage/divorce/death of spouse, that is one thing. If not...

To look down on 18 and 19 year olds who are married with children--if one has children out of wedlock--is the epitome of hypocrisy.

Get out of Brownwood and go back to the east coast.....you'll be a lot happier...and won't be looking down your nose at those you consider beneath you.

[momof2dfw]

Drive over to Dublin and get some Dr Pepper made w/ pure cane sugar. That should help. Buy a couple cases.

Yes, Brownwood is small town all the way. Have friends from there and some from outside of Brownwood in the even smaller towns. As others have said, the people there are content w/ their way of life. They have it "good" in their eyes. They can get a job that supports their family & lifestyle which is not extravagent by ANY means. Family is important to them so that is why doing things w/ their extended family as a form of entertainment is how they spend their time instead of outside interests that can tend to pull people away from their family. Howard Payne is not a HUGE college and there are probably PLENTY of people that are natives to even Texas that don't even know it exists. So a school that size is not going to add a lot of "culture" to a small city.

[teatime]

Originally Posted by Cathy4017

Your first bitter post here mentioned MARRIED 19 year olds with children, and 18 year olds who get pregnant and then get married.

So.....you're saying that it is acceptable for unmarried women to have children out of wedlock as long as they are educated and in their 20s, such as yourself?

If your children are the result of a former marriage/divorce/death of spouse, that is one thing. If not...

To look down on 18 and 19 year olds who are married with children--if one has children out of wedlock--is the epitome of hypocrisy.

Get out of Brownwood and go back to the east coast.....you'll be a lot happier...and won't be looking down your nose at those you consider beneath you.

Amen!!!

Hon, you're the one who chose to move there and now you expect the town to change to accommodate you? Sorry, it doesn't work that way, no matter how much you complain. So, either adopt the easy-going manner of your boyfriend and try to find the good in your surroundings or leave.

[jersey_girl]

Originally Posted by Cathy4017

So.....you're saying that it is acceptable for unmarried women to have children out of wedlock as long as they are educated and in their 20s, such as yourself?

No, you're misquoting me terribly. I have no children and have no intention of having any until I get married...in my very late twenties. What I find unacceptable is that virtually everyone in Brownwood I have encountered, including my landlady, looks down upon me because I am so "old" and have no children and am not married.

To look down on 18 and 19 year olds who are married with children--if one has children out of wedlock--is the epitome of hypocrisy.

I don't look down upon people who are young with children. Indeed, my sister had a child out of wedlock when she was 19. I am upset that this town thinks it odd for a woman my age to not want to have children and instead be seeking a job with an excellent salary and benefits--something that my boyfriend has and that I was perfectly qualified to have in Jersey but am not allowed to have here for the simple reason, so succinctly put by one Brownwood employer, that I am almost twenty-five and do not have children and am not married.

I can't even get healthcare in this town unless I marry him now, and that's a terrible reason to marry.

As a matter of fact, the first job I tried to get here was with a good company and they said I was "overqualified". Months later I applied for the same open job and they suggested that perhaps if I got a higher degree they might reconsider, apparently forgetting the original reason they denied me the job.

[jersey_girl]

Basically, my post (and I'd say the posts from the natives as well) is a warning to those women in the northeast whose significant others have been offered a transfer to Brownwood, TX.

Don't go.