Dealing with Texas stereotypes while in other states (weddings, school)
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I find some people in Texas fake, esp. that southern drawl "miss, ma'am" crap and the fake "churchy" politeness and prim and proper fake behavior (but then when you dig a bit deeper you dig up all sorts of nasty attitudes).
Wow.
What makes you think a person's accent is "fake?" Southern accents spoken by people who have lived in the south for many years generally aren't fake. I can assure you that while you may not notice your own accent, others do - what would your reaction be if someone said you were faking your accent? Don't worry - most Texans aren't stupid enough to think you're actually faking whatever accent you have, so you're not likely to have that ridiculous accusation thrown at you in Texas.
Many of us southerners (and I'm including Texans in that mix) were raised and taught to say "Miss" and "M'am" and other words that we consider to be polite ways to address others. There is nothing fake about it. It's not any more "fake" than you NOT using such words. When in Rome, do as the Romans - ever heard that expression? If everyone around you is saying "Thanks, m'am," maybe you should try it - or if you simply can't manage to do so, at least refrain from criticizing others for using what is considered to be good manners regionally.
As for what you consider "churchy, prim and proper fake behavior," once again - it's a cultural thing and not at all fake, any more than good manners anywhere else are considered "fake." Is it "fake" for people in other cultures to burp loudly after eating? Is it "fake" for people in other cultures to sit down at "your" table in a restaurant, or to think that you're rude if you put your hand in your lap at the table? Is it "fake" for Japanese businessmen to bow at each other when they meet? Do you really think they are saying, "You are my master" when they do so? Do you think they actually deeply respect a stranger, or are they simply exhibiting culturally appropriate manners?
If you don't want to "be fake" how 'bout just farting in public anytime you feel like it? I mean, farting is a natural behavior, everyone does it, so why not just let it rip? Or on second thought, maybe you better "fake it" till you're in private.
Speaking of letting it rip, just how brutally honest do you expect others to be? Do you ever tell anyone "thank you," when you actually feel no rush of gratitude at all? Do you ever make an excuse to get off the phone or cut a conversation short? Or do you just say, "Well, now, since I'm never fake, I'm just going to tell you that I am bored with this inane conversation with you, and actually I don't even like you very much, so I want to quit talking to you."
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I also find quite a few TX people brainwashed into thinking Texas is the bees knees and nothing else compares. Also the whole obsession with A&M being the best school in the world and no other school even exists. Every time you go out somewhere or when my wife goes on a field call (as a veterinarian) first thing is "did you go to A&M"? Why, who the f*ck cares?
Wow, if it's even possible, I really think you should widen your circle of friends (if anyone is willing to put up with you, that is). I have lived in Texas for over twenty years and I literally do not recall anyone - EVER - saying that A&M is the best school in the world or even implying that it matters much where one went to school, other than as a joke (a sort of joke that is popular in every state and every region of the country, by the way). I have, however, heard lots and lots of Aggie jokes making fun of people who go to A&M. Some of the best ones have been told by A&M alumni.
Perhaps, in your neck of the Texas woods, or in your wife's line of work, lots of people locally HAVE gone to A&M and they're just making friendly conversation (I know it's difficult for you to wrap your head around the concept of friendly conversation but trust me - it exists and many people quite enjoy it). Perhaps they're just curious in a benign sort of way. Has anyone insulted your wife or kicked her out of the room because she didn't go to A&M? If not, why on earth would you be offended by such an innocuous question?
I think your problems in Texas probably start with you.
What makes you think a person's accent is "fake?" Southern accents spoken by people who have lived in the south for many years generally aren't fake. I can assure you that while you may not notice your own accent, others do - what would your reaction be if someone said you were faking your accent? Don't worry - most Texans aren't stupid enough to think you're actually faking whatever accent you have, so you're not likely to have that ridiculous accusation thrown at you in Texas.
Many of us southerners (and I'm including Texans in that mix) were raised and taught to say "Miss" and "M'am" and other words that we consider to be polite ways to address others. There is nothing fake about it. It's not any more "fake" than you NOT using such words. When in Rome, do as the Romans - ever heard that expression? If everyone around you is saying "Thanks, m'am," maybe you should try it - or if you simply can't manage to do so, at least refrain from criticizing others for using what is considered to be good manners regionally.
As for what you consider "churchy, prim and proper fake behavior," once again - it's a cultural thing and not at all fake, any more than good manners anywhere else are considered "fake." Is it "fake" for people in other cultures to burp loudly after eating? Is it "fake" for people in other cultures to sit down at "your" table in a restaurant, or to think that you're rude if you put your hand in your lap at the table? Is it "fake" for Japanese businessmen to bow at each other when they meet? Do you really think they are saying, "You are my master" when they do so? Do you think they actually deeply respect a stranger, or are they simply exhibiting culturally appropriate manners?
If you don't want to "be fake" how 'bout just farting in public anytime you feel like it? I mean, farting is a natural behavior, everyone does it, so why not just let it rip? Or on second thought, maybe you better "fake it" till you're in private.
Speaking of letting it rip, just how brutally honest do you expect others to be? Do you ever tell anyone "thank you," when you actually feel no rush of gratitude at all? Do you ever make an excuse to get off the phone or cut a conversation short? Or do you just say, "Well, now, since I'm never fake, I'm just going to tell you that I am bored with this inane conversation with you, and actually I don't even like you very much, so I want to quit talking to you."
Wow, if it's even possible, I really think you should widen your circle of friends (if anyone is willing to put up with you, that is). I have lived in Texas for over twenty years and I literally do not recall anyone - EVER - saying that A&M is the best school in the world or even implying that it matters much where one went to school, other than as a joke (a sort of joke that is popular in every state and every region of the country, by the way). I have, however, heard lots and lots of Aggie jokes making fun of people who go to A&M. Some of the best ones have been told by A&M alumni.
Perhaps, in your neck of the Texas woods, or in your wife's line of work, lots of people locally HAVE gone to A&M and they're just making friendly conversation (I know it's difficult for you to wrap your head around the concept of friendly conversation but trust me - it exists and many people quite enjoy it). Perhaps they're just curious in a benign sort of way. Has anyone insulted your wife or kicked her out of the room because she didn't go to A&M? If not, why on earth would you be offended by such an innocuous question?
I think your problems in Texas probably start with you.
Meh. This is city-data, the posts are results of personal experiences people have - or am I required to repeat exactly some universal Texas experience that is expected in the state of anyone who moved here? I don't care much about the reasons or the roots of certain things, I just described my perception of what is going on.
Hence, these are my personal experiences/opinions, yours are obviously different. No need to get your panties in a bunch, the topic of this thread is what it is and I am offering a possible explanation why the stereotypes of Texas are as they are. Having lived here a few years I think quite a few stereotypes are right and some are wrong.
Interesting. Many people groan about New Yorkers being unfriendly and pushy etc. but when I lived there I found quite a lot of them were pretty genuine people.
I find some people in Texas fake, esp. that southern drawl "miss, ma'am" crap and the fake "churchy" politeness and prim and proper fake behavior (but then when you dig a bit deeper you dig up all sorts of nasty attitudes). I also find quite a few TX people brainwashed into thinking Texas is the bees knees and nothing else compares. Also the whole obsession with A&M being the best school in the world and no other school even exists. Every time you go out somewhere or when my wife goes on a field call (as a veterinarian) first thing is "did you go to A&M"? Why, who the f*ck cares?
Meh. This is city-data, the posts are results of personal experiences people have - or am I required to repeat exactly some universal Texas experience that is expected in the state of anyone who moved here? I don't care much about the reasons or the roots of certain things, I just described my perception of what is going on.
Hence, these are my personal experiences/opinions, yours are obviously different. No need to get your panties in a bunch, the topic of this thread is what it is and I am offering a possible explanation why the stereotypes of Texas are as they are. Having lived here a few years I think quite a few stereotypes are right and some are wrong.
LOL my panties aren't in a bunch. Like you said, this is City Data. I'm just playing along with your game.
I wouldn't say the accents are fake but I do think some guys in Texas over do it. I just can't believe a young guy can sound like an older middle aged southern retiree. The whole dressing, acting and settling down in your 20s, and acting like your 40s, always seemed overdone in Texas. Why are young people so quick to want that level of responsibility in your early 20s? Why do they want to look, sound, and act just like their dads or the gals look, sound like their moms?
I never understood that. I'm thinking about heading down that road soon in my mid 30s but these guys and girls want to play house so darn early. They break their backs for the house, the truck, the stay at home wife, the 2.5 kids and the one acre of land. Why can't they just be a little more patient and work their way up to that?
So yes, I'm with both Kathryn and Ogend. The accents aren't fake but the whole culture of creating this image that your the last bastion of everything right with America is a Texan stereotype. Like Nigel Tufnel did in Spinal Tap all the bravado is pumped up to 11.
Try being a conservative Texan living in Washington State! I've been here 11 years, leaving (retirement) in December 2015.
I work in a professional office, wear appropriate clothing, light make-up and fragrance and am friendly and pleasant.
Apparently women here are supposed to be dressed for hiking and smelling earthy, even in a professional environment. And friendly? No...stressed, angry, unfriendly, terse, etc.
I've felt like a fish out of water here and cannot wait to get home!
I liked it there because it was so was easy to stand out from the feminine guys haha. Sort of like Denver
In my experience the Texas behavioral stereotypes primarily apply to particular cities and perhaps regions in the state. For example, thinking all the way back to early adolescence, I always found middle/upper middle class people in Dallas to be very pretentious and rather phony, e.g. overdressed women with big hair, lots of hair spray, and too much makeup. It always reeked of pseudo-sophistication. Fort Worth displays some tendencies along this line, though less so than Dallas. By contrast, in my experience, one runs into this much, much less in Austin. I also don't really recall it having been the case so much in Lubbock.
I grew up with a strong insistence on my parents' part of using m'am and sir. However, I do think this can be overdone to a point that it no longer rings true. The terms are important indicators of politeness and respect; yet, I've heard some people over-using these honorifics, including a nurse from Dallas whom I once partly supervised in Beaumont. Indeed, I know a local restaurant staff person here in Delaware who is from Michigan and overused the "sir" formality with me way after he should have been addressing me more informally. I finally had to ask him a couple of times not to address me as "sir" (no other staff at this restaurant, where I am a regular, were doing so).
The older I've gotten, the more I personally prefer informality. That's neither here nor there; just an observation that internal norms about these things differ from one individual to another.
Dallas strikes me as trying to have that modern chic that LA has but without the eclectic artistic flair that makes it so glamorous. It's modern and yet conservative so it looks almost shallow. It's not high fashion but reeks of middle to upper middle class. Certain burbs in Houston remind me of this too.
It's the difference between Rodeo Drive and the local Towne Centre mixed use development.
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I don't care much about the reasons or the roots of certain things, I just described my perception of what is going on.
