Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Texas
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-19-2016, 11:25 AM
 
Location: NJ but moving to TX
10 posts, read 11,548 times
Reputation: 14

Advertisements

I did some searches about the area but I want someone to write to me specifically about it.

I am making the biggest change of my life to move from New Jersey all the way down to Texas. I am terrified and excited at the same time. I have so much to learn and get used to. I know how DIFFERENT these two places are. I am making this change because my boyfriend is from San Juan and owns a house there. He was offered a job and strongly believes we would have a better life by moving.

I am trying to get a real feel for what it is like. Please do not hold back, tell me the truth.

I am mostly scared of not being able to make new friends. I don't want to feel shut out. Is the area mostly friendly and open minded, judgemental and stuck up, or is it in between?

What are things to do in the area or possibly up to an hour away? Any places I should check out? (Both for adults and toddler age) BONUS if you mention great fishing spots.

How would you personally rate the schools there? Education for my son is important. Which ones should I look into?

What kind of food stores and shopping centers are close by?

What exactly is Tex Mex?

I only speak English.. Would it be easy for me in this area?

Anything you want to contribute to my knowledge would be great :-)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-19-2016, 01:34 PM
 
7,896 posts, read 4,890,271 times
Reputation: 15834
You want the truth?


1. Be ready for a MAJOR culture shock. I moved down here from the northeast 6 years ago, and it was "different" to say the least. I went to school at UTPA here, met my Wife, moved back to the northeast, got married and moved back down here.
2. Chances are You will be frustrated at how SLOW People are here and how slow the way of life is. It will take some getting used to being from the northeast
3. Food stores. The main one is HEB. Good store. Great BBQ. There is a nice Outlet in Mercedes. Good shopping in Mcallen,
4. Tex Mex - Mixture of Spanish spoken with English. Most people know English so it won't be that bad but you won't understand what people are saying if they are talking crap about you in Spanish
5. Beautiful weather this time of year. But most of the year is very humid
6. Very laid back place with friendly people for the most part but you will feel like an outsider being from outside the valley. People are very cliquish/Klanish here. So you may have a difficult time making friends.
7. School system- Private Schools is the only way to go. The public school system is AWFUL here from what I hear. I have no kids buts it just what I hear. Most kids graduated from public schools here are not ready for college.
8. If you're a white Anglo and especially from far north, get ready to feel like a big time outsider. Its not easy to meet and establish friendships/relationships here even if you want to because the clash of cultures is SOOO different.

If making friends are important to you, you may be a a bit disappointed coming from the northeast. Just telling you the truth. Im a bit of a loner myself so I didn't have that much trouble assimilating to culture down here other than how damn slow everything is. But then again you may make a host of friends right off the bat but it may be a little different for you coming from NJ and all. You may as well be from another planet to most people in the valley. The Culture is very family oriented, cliquish here.

Its like a retirement community all and all. Slow pace. Relaxing. No one bothers you. And the best part its VERY affordable and the beach is close by. This is fantastic this time of the year.


Some outsiders that moved here liked it.. I think most DID NOT!!. There are a lot of winter texan retirees that come down but they mostly stay to their own areas mainly at South Padre Island and to themselves. They don't intermingle with the local population. Most people that I knew, in school from outside the area or moved here for work, ALL left. They just couldn't stand it here anymore. They didn't like the locals, the humidity and lack of Frills. I enjoyed because I like a quite lifestyle, laid back atmosphere and I LOATHE cold weather.

You may like it, you may not. Most people I know couldn't stand it and left. A few people stayed but not many.

Its VERY segregated here. Rarely do you see white people in friendships/relationships and intermingling with hispanics. The anglos I have met, they only communicate with other anglos. In all the years Ive been here, Im one of the FEW that actually married and co-mingle and established some friendships with hispanics.


Overall people are very nice and pleasant here. Never had any major issue with anyone. Its just gonna be a MAJOR culture clash for you. If you're someone that needs to establish many social relationships and obtain many friends it could very tough for you. If you're someone that doesn't need to have constant social stimulation, its no big deal.

This is the way it is here. Its almost a throw back from the old school south. Its a bit behind the times here.

From the sounds of your post, I would probably consider a more metropolitan area in the Austin/Dallas/Forth Worth or even San Antonio area.

Last edited by DorianRo; 11-19-2016 at 01:54 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2016, 03:58 PM
 
Location: NJ but moving to TX
10 posts, read 11,548 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by DorianRo View Post
You want the truth?


1. Be ready for a MAJOR culture shock. I moved down here from the northeast 6 years ago, and it was "different" to say the least. I went to school at UTPA here, met my Wife, moved back to the northeast, got married and moved back down here.
2. Chances are You will be frustrated at how SLOW People are here and how slow the way of life is. It will take some getting used to being from the northeast
3. Food stores. The main one is HEB. Good store. Great BBQ. There is a nice Outlet in Mercedes. Good shopping in Mcallen,
4. Tex Mex - Mixture of Spanish spoken with English. Most people know English so it won't be that bad but you won't understand what people are saying if they are talking crap about you in Spanish
5. Beautiful weather this time of year. But most of the year is very humid
6. Very laid back place with friendly people for the most part but you will feel like an outsider being from outside the valley. People are very cliquish/Klanish here. So you may have a difficult time making friends.
7. School system- Private Schools is the only way to go. The public school system is AWFUL here from what I hear. I have no kids buts it just what I hear. Most kids graduated from public schools here are not ready for college.
8. If you're a white Anglo and especially from far north, get ready to feel like a big time outsider. Its not easy to meet and establish friendships/relationships here even if you want to because the clash of cultures is SOOO different.

If making friends are important to you, you may be a a bit disappointed coming from the northeast. Just telling you the truth. Im a bit of a loner myself so I didn't have that much trouble assimilating to culture down here other than how damn slow everything is. But then again you may make a host of friends right off the bat but it may be a little different for you coming from NJ and all. You may as well be from another planet to most people in the valley. The Culture is very family oriented, cliquish here.

Its like a retirement community all and all. Slow pace. Relaxing. No one bothers you. And the best part its VERY affordable and the beach is close by. This is fantastic this time of the year.


Some outsiders that moved here liked it.. I think most DID NOT!!. There are a lot of winter texan retirees that come down but they mostly stay to their own areas mainly at South Padre Island and to themselves. They don't intermingle with the local population. Most people that I knew, in school from outside the area or moved here for work, ALL left. They just couldn't stand it here anymore. They didn't like the locals, the humidity and lack of Frills. I enjoyed because I like a quite lifestyle, laid back atmosphere and I LOATHE cold weather.

You may like it, you may not. Most people I know couldn't stand it and left. A few people stayed but not many.

Its VERY segregated here. Rarely do you see white people in friendships/relationships and intermingling with hispanics. The anglos I have met, they only communicate with other anglos. In all the years Ive been here, Im one of the FEW that actually married and co-mingle and established some friendships with hispanics.


Overall people are very nice and pleasant here. Never had any major issue with anyone. Its just gonna be a MAJOR culture clash for you. If you're someone that needs to establish many social relationships and obtain many friends it could very tough for you. If you're someone that doesn't need to have constant social stimulation, its no big deal.

This is the way it is here. Its almost a throw back from the old school south. Its a bit behind the times here.

From the sounds of your post, I would probably consider a more metropolitan area in the Austin/Dallas/Forth Worth or even San Antonio area.


Thank you so much for the input!

The shock I know I am going to have. I already have anxiety about such change. I think it might end up being good for me. I actually hate the too busy and city life. I prefer more laid back areas.

My boyfriend and his family are Mexican-American and Dominican. He has tons of family and cousins there, so I am hoping I can make a few friends from within who he knows. I am not a very social person actually. I just like good company, or someone to talk to about life once in awhile. I mainly want my son to have friends.

I highly dislike the cold and despise snow!! Nice and hot weather will be great.
I hardly fit in where I am LOL I am very much to myself and try to stay away from people for the most part.

Private schools might be too much money. Apparently all his family graduated just fine going to public school. I want my son to have the best as I can get him.

I never heard the term anglo?? What on earth is that?

Honestly it sounds better than where I am. I am all for relaxation and quietness. Where I live we have a little bit of everything! White, Hispanic, African Americans, Albanian, Polish, Macedonian, Chinese, Korean.. and so on. I get along with everyone. You know, you respect me, I respect you. Try to keep everything civil.

I can't go to another area. My boyfriend's house is in San Juan. We will eventually move into the house once the renovations are officially over. In the meantime I told him I like the looks of McAllen.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2016, 06:14 PM
 
23,690 posts, read 9,243,947 times
Reputation: 8650
Quote:
Originally Posted by xItalianCandy13 View Post
Thank you so much for the input!

The shock I know I am going to have. I already have anxiety about such change. I think it might end up being good for me. I actually hate the too busy and city life. I prefer more laid back areas.

My boyfriend and his family are Mexican-American and Dominican. He has tons of family and cousins there, so I am hoping I can make a few friends from within who he knows. I am not a very social person actually. I just like good company, or someone to talk to about life once in awhile. I mainly want my son to have friends.

I highly dislike the cold and despise snow!! Nice and hot weather will be great.
I hardly fit in where I am LOL I am very much to myself and try to stay away from people for the most part.

Private schools might be too much money. Apparently all his family graduated just fine going to public school. I want my son to have the best as I can get him.

I never heard the term anglo?? What on earth is that?

Honestly it sounds better than where I am. I am all for relaxation and quietness. Where I live we have a little bit of everything! White, Hispanic, African Americans, Albanian, Polish, Macedonian, Chinese, Korean.. and so on. I get along with everyone. You know, you respect me, I respect you. Try to keep everything civil.

I can't go to another area. My boyfriend's house is in San Juan. We will eventually move into the house once the renovations are officially over. In the meantime I told him I like the looks of McAllen.
Anglo refers to non-hispanic white gentile people of European descent although many people have different definitions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2016, 06:18 PM
 
Location: NJ but moving to TX
10 posts, read 11,548 times
Reputation: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by C24L View Post
Anglo refers to non-hispanic white gentile people of European descent although many people have different definitions.
Oh I see! I am American. I also have Italian, Swedish and German blood. I never left the country and do not speak any other languages.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2016, 06:36 PM
 
23,690 posts, read 9,243,947 times
Reputation: 8650
Quote:
Originally Posted by xItalianCandy13 View Post
Oh I see! I am American. I also have Italian, Swedish and German blood. I never left the country and do not speak any other languages.
Okay thats nice.I also have never left the country.I only speak english also.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2016, 11:27 PM
 
Location: League City, Texas
2,919 posts, read 5,909,979 times
Reputation: 6259
Quote:
Originally Posted by xItalianCandy13 View Post
Oh I see! I am American. I also have Italian, Swedish and German blood. I never left the country and do not speak any other languages.
They will call you "Anglo" whether or not you are of actual "Anglo" origin. It basically is a term used to show you are white American and not Mexican. You may also be called guera, which refers to being of lighter skin or hair. In most of the U.S., this terminology would be considered racist. In the RGV, it is what it is.

As already stated, the bulk of "Anglo" residents of the RGV are the so-called "Winter Texans". They basically live in their own communities amongst themselves. They wouldn't be interacting with anyone outside their social circles on a regular basis.

I was there for nearly 7 years because of financial reasons. The pay was better than anyplace else in the country, because it is so unpleasant for so many. It's difficult to get qualified people to stay there, and money talks. I tried to make the best of the situation, but I eventually realized that sometimes money isn't everything.

I'm just very, very thankful I didn't have young children to raise there. I wouldn't allow my grandchildren to drink the water nor play in the yard when they came to visit. Our home was built on former orchard land, where unregulated chemicals were used for generations.

Fish caught in the local inland waters are not safe for consumption, so be prepared to catch & release if you do go fishing.

Good luck.

(Obviously, some people love the RGV, and may take exception to my experiences. However, that's all I have to go on--YMMV.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-20-2016, 09:01 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
1,297 posts, read 3,082,947 times
Reputation: 1168
Dorian had some spot on info. It sounds like you're open about moving and embracing a new place which helps. You'll prob have some hurdles adjusting but at least your boyfriend knows the culture and can help you adjust. I've got previous replies about the "valley" you can look up. As a Mexican American that speaks ok Spanish, I think it's very different than a place like SAN antonio and an area I wouldn't live.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-20-2016, 09:21 AM
 
Location: New Braunfels, TX
7,105 posts, read 11,741,328 times
Reputation: 7988
I traveled the RGV extensively for about 30 years on business. I'm about as "anglo" as they come - and my experiences were mixed (to a degree).

By and large, I really liked the folks I encountered. They were different, and had different outlooks/goals (didn't need the biggest house or fanciest cars), but all in all were affable and outgoing once they realized you weren't looking down your nose at them. Be VERY aware, though - they have a criminal element there that is beyond what you're used to. With the border so close, some come across with only the intent of stealing. They know that getting caught will get them little in the way of real punishment.

NOTHING happens in a hurry there. "Manana" (translation - tomorrow) is a lifestyle to them, and nothing you're going to do is going to get it done any faster. In some respects, it's refreshing - there's no sense of rush and everyone is pretty laid back. But when you're trying to get something done, it can be frustrating.

Having said all the above......these same folks will take the last dollar out of their pocket to help someone in need - especially children. You'll see parents in worn-out clothes going into the store to buy their child a new toy, or dropping new toys into a Toys For Tots bin. In some respects, they're almost child-like - you can hurt feelings easily, but they'll do anything for someone they perceive as a friend.

The education system is perceived as lousy because just like so many other parts of the country, if the parent isn't involved in their childs' education, they aren't going to learn well. You WILL want to monitor who their friends are, and who they run around with - but that's true anywhere. But your kids will also have the opportunity to observe what true poverty can look like - and how even the poorest monetarily can be the richest in terms of friends and family.

It sounds like your husband has strong familial ties there, which will help. Be open, but observant. Be VERY aware of your surroundings at ALL times. Personally, I *always* traveled armed - and had a few occasions to be glad of that fact. Getting a LTC (License to Carry) in Texas is pretty easy and straightforward - and I would highly recommend doing so.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-20-2016, 05:47 PM
 
Location: NJ but moving to TX
10 posts, read 11,548 times
Reputation: 14
hellpaso;

Okay, gotcha! Yes my skin is pretty white I should say.

I am not the type to have a social circle. I also don't choose friends by any category. If I like you, I like you. Some people are too picky and stuck up in the world.

Money definitely is not everything but it sure helps. We need money to live.

Oh geez. The water issue does not sound appealing at all from where you were. Is that in a lot of areas?!

I love to release actually. I only take once in awhile if I know I can eat them if I happen to be in the mood for it.

Thank you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Settings
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2020 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Texas

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top