Oklahoma Jokes... (Houston, San Antonio, Austin: lawyer, buyers, university)

[CptnRn]

In recognition of the University of Texas versus Oklahoma University game today, share your Oklahoma jokes here.

Here is one John Kelso put in the paper yesterday...

A man who has six months to live toes in to ask his doctor for advise.

The Doctor recommends, "Buy you a Dodge truck, marry a 300 pound woman and move to Oklahoma."

"Will that make me live longer?" the patient askes.

"No, but it'll sure seem like it," the doctor says.

[lonestar2007]

Two cattle buyers from Oklahoma were on a trip to Central Texas to look at a set of cows when they were pulled over by a State Trooper. The trooper walked up and tapped on the driver-side window with his nightstick. The cattle buyer rolled down the window and WHACK, the trooper smacked him in the head with his nightstick.

"What the hell was that for?" the cattle buyer asked.

"You're in Texas, " the trooper answered. "When we pull you over in Texas, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."

The trooper ran a check on the license and the cattle buyer was clean, so he gave him his license back. The trooper then walked around to the passenger side and tapped on the window and the other cattle buyer rolled down the window and "WHACK", the trooper smacked him on the head with the nightstick.

"What'd you do that for?" the cattle buyer demanded.

"Making your wish come true," replied the trooper.

"Making WHAT wish come true?" the cattle buyer asked.

"I know you cattle buyer types," The trooper said. "A hundred feet down the road, you're would've turned to your buddy and said... "I wish that SOB would've tried that on me!"

[lonestar2007]

An Austin lawyer, a Houston oilman, and an Okie cattle buyer were sitting in a bar in San Antonio. The view of the river was fantastic, the beer was ice cold, and the food exceptional.

"But," said the lawyer, "I still prefer the beer joints back in Austin. There's one place where the owner goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy 4 beers, he will buy the 5th."

The oilman said "Well, at my local bar in Houston, the owner will buy your 3rd drink after you've bought 2."

"Hell, that's nothin'," the cattle buyer responded." Up in Tulsa, there's this bar where the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink and keep them coming all night. Then when you've had enough to drink, you go upstairs for a little romantic activity. And it's all on the house."

The lawyer and the oilman immediately doubted the cattle buyer's claims.

"And this actually happened to you?" asked the lawyer.

"No, not myself personally," admitted the cattle buyer. "But it did happen to my wife."

[TexasReb]

ROFLMAO

Y'all are cracking me up here!

But..dad gummit (hear me, Bass&Catfish?), I reckon our neighbors across the Red River can make some good come-backs given the outcome of the annual shootout! *crying jag here*

[CptnRn]

Originally Posted by TexasReb

ROFLMAO

Y'all are cracking me up here!

But..dad gummit (hear me, Bass&Catfish?), I reckon our neighbors across the Red River can make some good come-backs given the outcome of the annual shootout! *crying jag here*

Hush, you are off topic!

[TexasReb]

Originally Posted by CptnRn

Hush, you are off topic!

I swear, Cap'n...I am trying hard to keep it under control...