spouse abuse info. Fort Hood (Killeen, Hamilton: how much, home, to live)

[sharon120708]

Hi, just found this site and was hoping someone could help me with this. I have no idea of how the military works etc., but my daughter's husband is stationed at Ft. Hood, they live in the area, and he is becoming more and more violent. I've asked her to seek help from some organization down there, but think she is afraid if she goes to his commander, he'll really get upset with her. Friends of their's, also in the military, are telling her to do it also. I was wondering if anyone knows where I could call to ask some questions about help she could get thru the military. I'm also afraid if he knows I'm trying to get her help, he'll get mad and take it out on her. Thanks!

[Houston3]

If it was my daughter I would go get her and bring her home.

[TexasGirl@Heart]

Ask her if she's willing to leave him. If she's not then.... If she is...GO GET HER!!

There are so many women out there who STAY with abusive men...I don't understand it! If I had to live on welfare, I would do that before staying with a man who is physically and verbally abusive towards me. Either that, or I would take lessons at the local shooting range and the next time he came after me....well, lets just say it would be the last time he hit me!

[westhou]

Everyone is giving you great advice. You should definitely go get her. First get her away from him and into your home and then you can figure out what plan to take.

[WillysB]

My dad was in the Army, until there was an Air Force. Mom says there was a time... once... that he hit her. She went to his Commanding Officer. He never hit her again. Though this was a v e r y long time ago, there should be some recourse within the organization. The guy is government property.

Good luck to your daughter.

[NOTAM]

The US ARMY takes care of families-there are MULTIPLE family support programs/resources available. There are domestic violence billboards and pamphlets ALL OVER post! As a military dependent, you are eligible for free counseling.
Darn right his command will take care of business if she reports him. She can also talk to the battalion/squadron/unit chaplain. However, no one can force her to do it. She needs to want to get help.
I am willing to bet that she has too much to lose-free housing (BAH), free food (BSA), free medical (TriCare), and all the other benefits...especially if she has kids, and she has no way to support herself. That is why many military wives stay.
You can get all kinds of advice 24/7 confidentially on the phone via armyonesource.com
I will pray for her.

[JoanD'Arc]

Originally Posted by TexasGirl@Heart

Ask her if she's willing to leave him. If she's not then.... If she is...GO GET HER!!

There are so many women out there who STAY with abusive men...I don't understand it! If I had to live on welfare, I would do that before staying with a man who is physically and verbally abusive towards me. Either that, or I would take lessons at the local shooting range and the next time he came after me....well, lets just say it would be the last time he hit me!

First let me say my heart goes out to the op and the daughter. Secondly, some info from one who has been there might help: I have been in your daugher's shoes and have done extensive reading on spousal abuse. Also have been in counseling over it several times. The problem is that once the abuse gets to the violent stage you can be sure that the perpetrator has spent a lot of time previously breaking down the target's self confidence. A person gets into a state of mind that tells her she has no choice. That's the bottom line. She's probably afraid of him, too.

My suggestion would be to make sure she is safe immediately but you have to have her agreement. Ask her to go home with you for a few days and when she is there ask her if she would go to a counselor with you to talk over what you see is a problem. She will not help herself until she sees a reason to and a counselor might shed some light on the situation.

To answer your question, call his commander or the chaplain and let them help you.

All my best to all of you. Please let us know what you are able to do to help her.

[latetotheparty]

so glad to see notam post a reply .... was going to send a pm if i had to to get her in here......

all advice posted is excellent..... i have never been in the situation myself, but have helped various friends over the years.....

the first priority is to get her OUT OF THE SITUATION..... then report the abuse to appropriate authorities...... this sort of thing does NOT resolve itself...... and ONLY escalates unless there is appropriate intervention and the abuser is willing to accept help to make the necessary changes...... somehow, some way, your daughter must be convinced that it is NOT her fault......

good luck and god bless..... ALL of you.....

and please DO keep us posted ..... there are many who care......

[grandma 1949]

Start with Texas Rehab in Killeen. They may not can help but I think they can tell you where to start. Ft. Hood is a huge place that is it's own city. Your daughter needs to get herself help because right now the men serving in our armed services are so stressed they can't think straight. I thank them for giving me freedom to reply to the thread. Without them, our lives would be hopeless.

[peanutsbeagle93]

Hi,
lived in Ft.Hood from 1996-2000. They have a shelter ran by a non-profit called "Families in Crisis" where I volunteered. You can call the national hotline and they will get her in touch, National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
It goes for all States and they will get you help within the State you need.
About this Organization:
Families in Crisis, Inc., a 501(c)(3) United Way agency, was established in 1978 to assist and empower victims of family violence and sexual assault in Bell, Coryell, and Hamilton counties, including Fort Hood, the nation's largest military installation. Services provided include emergency safe shelter; provision of food, clothing, and personal items; transportation assistance and referral to medical, legal, law enforcement and social service agencies in the community; a 24-hour crisis hotline; crisis intervention counseling; support groups; workshops; and educational groups. The agency provides both safe shelter services and outreach services. Families in Crisis, Inc. strives to create a non-judgmental, supportive environment in which victims of family violence and sexual assault can assess their individual situations, plan short-term and long-term goals, and gain necessary information to make decisions which support the attainment of these goals. Our services, which are confidential and free of charge, promote responsibility and self-reliance through this goal-oriented approach, helping clients become more effective as individuals, as parents, and as citizens.
Restrictions:
The organization serves victims of domestic violence in Bell, Coryell, and Hamilton counties (including Fort Hood).

I used to spend all my time there helping out. She can stay in the Shelter is she opts too. The Staff is always there to take care of residents.
Also the PD in Killeen had very good connections to the Shelter.
Tell your Daughter her options. As for the Military, depends on your Command. The policy is one thing but how much a Command is willing to do is another. Sorry this comes from an Army wife so I know. Same goes for Chaplains. Some are great for help, some not.
However, your Daughter has to go because she wants too, otherwise she will just be back to him.
Good luck.