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Old 06-27-2009, 02:22 AM
 
Location: Austin
2,522 posts, read 3,645,160 times
Reputation: 676
Default How Hot is it?(An ode to Texas, and the daily 100 degree plus heat)

How hot is it(An ode to Texas).....

The devil wanted a place on earth
Sort of a summer home
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Texas
A place both wretched and rough
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall
He dried up the lakes in the valleys
Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren country
He transplanted shrubs from hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear
The climate suited them well.

Now the home was much to his liking
But animal life, he had none.
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake
With it's forked poisonous tongue.
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow it's young.

Then he made scorpions and lizards
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old horned lizard took ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.

'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly," he finally panted,
"I did my job too well,
I'm going back to where I came from,
Texas is hotter than Hell.



and ain't that the truth!
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Old 06-27-2009, 09:50 AM
 
Location: North Dallas/West Campus, Austin
1,562 posts, read 2,650,583 times
Reputation: 550
Having grown up in Texas, I firmly believe that hell is freezing cold, and as such I do my best to make sure I can get to heaven!

I call snow hellfire, because the first time I saw it I thought it was so scary it was going to eat us!
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Old 06-27-2009, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Houston (Memorial) and Western NC
8,907 posts, read 15,138,438 times
Reputation: 4046
I like November, March and April
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Old 06-27-2009, 10:11 AM
 
5,031 posts, read 7,804,369 times
Reputation: 2302
Cute poem, but Hell will be so much worse .... hard to believe, I know. Can you imagine how it was many years ago when people didn't have A/C? I don't know how they survived.

My favorite time in Texas is November through April. The cold doesn't last long and the hot days we have within those months don't either.

Last edited by Canine*Castle; 06-27-2009 at 10:20 AM..
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Old 06-27-2009, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth/Dallas
11,879 posts, read 24,968,301 times
Reputation: 5383
It's 104 where I live and the heat index is 120.

I absolutely hate this kind of weather.

Oh, and to HELL with those blasted cicadas. I hate them!
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Old 06-27-2009, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Hutto, Tx
8,629 posts, read 15,997,252 times
Reputation: 2318
We lovingly call the cicadas "heat bugs"
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Old 06-27-2009, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Houston (Memorial) and Western NC
8,907 posts, read 15,138,438 times
Reputation: 4046
Cicadas bring the heat index up another 5 degrees. I'm convinced of that.
Maybe I should tip Al Gore onto that fact. Maybe he'll tax them from some sort of Global Warming causing CO2.
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Old 06-27-2009, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Central Austin
2,409 posts, read 3,795,686 times
Reputation: 1945
I feel sorry for all of you. I also feel bad for complaining about 95 degree heat now. At least there will be a small break from the heat tomorrow and Monday.
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Old 06-27-2009, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth/Dallas
11,879 posts, read 24,968,301 times
Reputation: 5383
Quote:
Originally Posted by love roses View Post
We lovingly call the cicadas "heat bugs"
I hate the little monsters with a passion. It's as if they are the bugs from hell or something.
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Old 06-27-2009, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Houston (Memorial) and Western NC
8,907 posts, read 15,138,438 times
Reputation: 4046
My pool simmer buckets are their graveyard. nasty.
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