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Sorry I edited the last part though and that is if my partner took on that attitude than he wouldn't have married me since I am a native. Fortunately he, like many was open minded and didn't pigeon hole people.. We simply hit it off and didn't think of things in terms of where we were from etc - people will either gel or they will not.. I don't think its productive to generalize people as you may be missing out on the one person you've been looking for. Seems like a good approach to me!
The OP is not pigeon-holing people (and neither am I). We're talking about our real life experiences. Seems like a good approach to me!
The OP is not pigeon-holing people (and neither am I). We're talking about our real life experiences. Seems like a good approach to me!
Its still a poor approach! Why? Simple and that is because you haven't met all the natives in this city.. You are going by your observations of .0002 percent of it.. You have a lot of other people to draw conclusions about fairly and individually. As I said, if my partner took on your approach he wouldn't have met me.. He has dated and been in relationships with Venezuelans, Cubans, Colombians, French Canadians and yes Anglo Canadians and Torontonians and at the end of the day - that Venezuelan chose a Native-anglo-Torontonian. There are oooooodles of people in this city the same and they outnumber you and Anna tbh.
Its still a poor approach! Why? Simple and that is because you haven't met all the natives in this city.. You are going by your observations of .0002 percent of it.. You have a lot of other people to draw conclusions about fairly and individually. As I said, if my partner took on your approach he wouldn't have met me.. He has dated and been in relationships with Venezuelans, Cubans, Colombians, French Canadians and yes Anglo Canadians and Torontonians and at the end of the day - that Venezuelan chose a Native-anglo-Torontonian. There are oooooodles of people in this city the same and they outnumber you and Anna tbh.
People usually just end up with someone they connect with. It is not usually just based on one factor. I did not exclusive choose to have more serious relationships with men that were not born in Toronto vs men born in Toronto. This is just how it ended up. It was not premeditated, it just happens that way. I also want to throw out the idea that possibly some men in this city have standards too? I know many men in this city and outside on this country that do not just want to jump in to bed with just any woman. Not everybody is looking for f-buddy. There is nothing wrong with being a polite, shy and laid back man. Unlike in some places around the world sexual harrassment is taken seriously in this city and I am not willing to loose my sense of comfort as a woman living in this city because someone from outside the city can't find a f-buddy. Being more freindly and being able to carrying on a better conversation is one thing. Being too physically or verbally aggressively will likely get a man pepper sprayed or arrested in Toronto. In many country's that certain people posting on this forum on these types of thread say they have better luck meeting women in, women regularly incure unwanted aggressive sexual harrassment and physical threats such increase incidence of rape and domestic violence. There are certainly pros as well as cons of men and women generally being more reserved then in some other places.
Its still a poor approach! Why? Simple and that is because you haven't met all the natives in this city.. You are going by your observations of .0002 percent of it.. You have a lot of other people to draw conclusions about fairly and individually. As I said, if my partner took on your approach he wouldn't have met me.. He has dated and been in relationships with Venezuelans, Cubans, Colombians, French Canadians and yes Anglo Canadians and Torontonians and at the end of the day - that Venezuelan chose a Native-anglo-Torontonian. There are oooooodles of people in this city the same and they outnumber you and Anna tbh.
Your logic is completely flawed. NO ONE has met all the people in any city. You haven't either. So I could say the same thing about you. I would encourage you to take a basic statistics class.
Since I can say that with perhaps one exception (who's from Victoria in any case), the hundreds or perhaps thousands of people I've met in my years here fall squarely into the camp Anna describes.
Your logic is completely flawed. NO ONE has met all the people in any city. You haven't either. So I could say the same thing about you. I would encourage you to take a basic statistics class.
Since I can say that with perhaps one exception (who's from Victoria in any case), the hundreds or perhaps thousands of people I've met in my years here fall squarely into the camp Anna describes.
Honestly a good chunk of people agree with you. The majority in this thread. It's just that small minority being the most vocal.
I am not really in denial about the fact that this is the way things usually are ... I am trying to provide insight regarding how problematic this framework is. If our society makes us believe that we are not good enough to be attractive to someone else ... as a male or female then we are less likely to actually be confident to pursue someone else and to accept that someone else is really interested in us because we do not usually meet these standards of beauty or desirability. If goals and values don't make logical sense for 95% of the population .. then why are we being lead to think this way?
Regarding my intent on sharing these views... I am not looking to meet anyone as I am not single. What I am hoping is that possibly even one person out there who feels that they are just not good enough male or female will realize ... whatever .. these concepts of beauty and what makes a man or women desirable are BS. The standards set up are illogical. So screw the standards and expectations and just have fun with it. As much as I love Toronto I go to admit it is true a lot of us have gotten too introverted, which sucks because we live in a city full of fun and interested people. I am finding one of the coolest things about the forum situation is it gives people better access to the thoughts and opinions of other people that are not already in their circles.
Also the world is always changing ... there are people who just except things the way they are and there are people like me that are usually willing to push back and challenge things that don't make sense to them. I not saying I know the answer, but I am pushing the discussion as there is obviously something happening in our social structure in this city when you actually look at how unlikely it is for people to actually talk face to face with new people as we have locals and people form outside noticing the same thing.
I find single people in Toronto place huge pressure on themselves when it comes to looks, that applies both to men and women. So many guys list their hobbies and interests as gym, or working out 5 times a week and healthy eating. While it's fantastic that they look after themselves I wonder whether they their looks are so important to them because they have nothing else to offer.
In cities like London or Chicago people are in general less looks obsessed, a lot are overweight, but dating scene is more lively.
I find single people in Toronto place huge pressure on themselves when it comes to looks, that applies both to men and women. So many guys list their hobbies and interests as gym, or working out 5 times a week and healthy eating. While it's fantastic that they look after themselves I wonder whether they their looks are so important to them because they have nothing else to offer.
In cities like London or Chicago people are in general less looks obsessed, a lot are overweight, but dating scene is more lively.
I agree. I have lived and travelled to other cities and have observed the same thing. The focus in this city often is too much on outward appearance. Going to the gym is great, but that can't be all your about? It is not that exciting or interesting to discuss how much you can lift or how long you can run. From my experience living in this city I have found the people that often look the best are often the least interesting to talk to. It gets old fast.
I find single people in Toronto place huge pressure on themselves when it comes to looks, that applies both to men and women. So many guys list their hobbies and interests as gym, or working out 5 times a week and healthy eating. While it's fantastic that they look after themselves I wonder whether they their looks are so important to them because they have nothing else to offer.
In cities like London or Chicago people are in general less looks obsessed, a lot are overweight, but dating scene is more lively.
People usually just end up with someone they connect with. It is not usually just based on one factor. I did not exclusive choose to have more serious relationships with men that were not born in Toronto vs men born in Toronto. This is just how it ended up. It was not premeditated, it just happens that way. I also want to throw out the idea that possibly some men in this city have standards too? I know many men in this city and outside on this country that do not just want to jump in to bed with just any woman. Not everybody is looking for f-buddy. There is nothing wrong with being a polite, shy and laid back man. Unlike in some places around the world sexual harrassment is taken seriously in this city and I am not willing to loose my sense of comfort as a woman living in this city because someone from outside the city can't find a f-buddy. Being more freindly and being able to carrying on a better conversation is one thing. Being too physically or verbally aggressively will likely get a man pepper sprayed or arrested in Toronto. In many country's that certain people posting on this forum on these types of thread say they have better luck meeting women in, women regularly incure unwanted aggressive sexual harrassment and physical threats such increase incidence of rape and domestic violence. There are certainly pros as well as cons of men and women generally being more reserved then in some other places.
I would agree with this.. If you go to cities in the M.E the cat calling can be over the top.. Tunis was extremely bad for this. On my flight back to London I was sitting beside a British girl and when we spoke about how the trip went, she made specific reference to how constant and uncomfortable it was.
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