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Even though men have an extended biological clock, I still think it would be tough for a guy 40+ to start raising kids vs starting younger. I'm 35 and with my first kid and the physical and mental toll is much more than I ever expected. Not sure I would want do more than one if I were 40+. It's early days so I know things will get better...so I hear
And even if there were a way to extend women's child bearing years, unless they're doing the same to peoples lives it doesn't make sense.
I mean, let's take you for example, johnathan. Let's say you're baby is 4 months old. YOU will be 70 when he is your age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tarp
Women have never been confined to the kitchen.
Yeah you're right. That leash stretched all the way to the grocery store, church, school, and sewing bees.
You're oh-so-wrong about that, I'm afraid. I used to think along the same lines but the increasingly army of lonely and disconnected people refutes that position. Societies aren't always on a march onwards and upwards into a bright and wondrous future; the historical record would suggest that they're more often cyclical and experience periods of decay and entropy.
Gavin McInnes is pretty hilarious, but, like comedians often do, he'll take a kernel of truth and skew it for rhetorical effect. He doesn't enlighten so much as he just spins the more extreme elements of modern life for a laugh. He's a propagandist, not a researcher.
I don't think we have a dichotomy to pick from here: it isn't "straight upward trajectory of progress" vs. "cyclical pattern of development and destruction". Modern society is experiencing things that have never happened before at all: much longer life expectancies; a wide and growing array of contraceptive choices; women in the paid workforce; widespread higher education, which has a role in delaying parenthood; consumer society, and all the affects of technological innovation on society. This is mostly all new to humanity. I don't think the end is nigh, but I do believe a long and deep adjustment period for society is necessary.
Humanity is wired to produce the healthiest babies during the prime childbearing years, meaning our 20s, not our 40s. Society hasn't kept this fact in mind since the 1970s. Maybe there's a Mayan calendar somewhere that links this to the fall of the Western world... or, maybe people's lifestyles will change to address these facts. Humans aren't unable to adapt to changing circumstances... never have been.
As a women this is a conflict about the idea of having children in the 20s. I know women who had children in their 20s. Yes they got to have several kids, but they also missed on post secondary education, work lower paying jobs, never got to travel to the same extend as someone like me, they do not have the same economic freedoms as me and are pretty much in deep trouble if their husband/ partner ever leaves them as their families are just barely getting by as it is. In short they are living lower income or lower middle income lives. They live pay cheque to pay cheque and frankly as cute as kids are I am not sure I am willing to be broke to have a litter of children. Our system does not exactly encourage women who do not want to end up broke or economically challenged to want to have children. Maternity leave is a joke. Unless you make very little anyway having a child and taking off a year gets you next to nothing in terms of income to live on over that year. Also after that point if you do go back to work after that child care is very very very expensive. It takes a village to raise children, but the village of Canada is just not willing to foot the bill to help working families out. To me that is literally why you clearly notice in this city most people with multiple children are new immigrants or people who have significantly lower standards of living ex. Willing to live in a 3 bedroom apartment with a family of 7. There is nothing wrong with that, but when you have a large family in a city like Toronto unless you have a really high income you are really going to have to struggle and try to get by with a lot less. I guess there might be no perfect situation. Pardon my harshness re lower income living in Toronto. I had a really eye opening reminder of what lower income Toronto looks like today and that cloud is still circling my head. In short right now I am feeling I should be insanely thankful for what I do have as I just had a really crazy reminder of what living in this great city is like for people that have to get by on way less then I have.
As for the topic... It seems to me that the pool of city men (those that women search for - groomed, fashionable, intelligent, career-minded etc) is not that large. Blue-collar men would never visit "tennis lessons, cooking classes,..." because they are busy with building their bikes or building web servers or fly fishing (they already have hobbies). There are still more men in towns and villages, running tractors and bulldozers and farmers markets. Do these men even enter the consideration of city women?
It's not that, it's distance. I'm currently trying to hook my male friend who lives in an Angus with my female friend who lives in midtown Toronto. He is a real catch. But she is very concerned that it won't work out because LDR. Plus, she doesn't have a car.
You have to stick with people your own age, if your 30 than there are plenty of 30 year old guys who are single like you wondering where in the world are you...
You have to stick with people your own age, if your 30 than there are plenty of 30 year old guys who are single like you wondering where in the world are you...
Ya... that sounds like a comment someone in their early 20s would make. You know what I use to think that this was true or at least wanted to this was true, but frankly my current theory is men that are single in their 30s ex not married or in a long term relationship and just stalling to pop the question until the get the income and cash they think they need to spring for the ring and the wedding are often a little less mature ( or stable in terms of employment, life direction and emotional intelligence) and tend to be more interested in younger women who are not usually as interested in things like buying a house/ home and starting a family. Yes I said the F word .. family ()! Most women in their 30s are not looking for a man boy (ex a man who will likely end up being more a dependent then a partner). I know a lot of these types. As much as I love my single male friends and family members that are 30 plus I got to say if I was single I would not be interested in them because frankly they would be more of a liability in the long run ex fun to hang around with, but don't appear to be handle the serious parts of adult life ex paying bills, raising kids, being responsible for this type of stuff and be able to pull their own weight in terms of domestic duties ex. washing/ cleaning and fun stuff like that . Most women in this city work even if they are married with kids. That being said who would want to go out their way to marry a man that you will need to mother on top of taking care of yourself and possible your kids? The kind of stuff someone wants in a partner can significant change with time. The problem is you end up with a man boy is that once in a domestic relationship you end up picking up all their slack and when their asked to start acting like an adult and take care of themselves they start to resent you.
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Mmmmm ?
)! Most women in their 30s are not looking for a man boy (ex a man who will likely end up being more a dependent then a partner). I know a lot of these types. As much as I love my single male friends and family members that are 30 plus I got to say if I was single I would not be interested in them because frankly they would be more of a liability in the long run ex fun to hang around with, but don't appear to be handle the serious parts of adult life ex paying bills, raising kids, being responsible for this type of stuff and be able to pull their own weight in terms of domestic duties ex. washing/ cleaning and fun stuff like that 
. Most women in this city work even if they are married with kids. That being said who would want to go out their way to marry a man that you will need to mother on top of taking care of yourself and possible your kids? The kind of stuff someone wants in a partner can significant change with time. The problem is you end up with a man boy is that once in a domestic relationship you end up picking up all their slack and when their asked to start acting like an adult and take care of themselves they start to resent you.
