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Old 06-22-2010, 09:27 AM
 
26,590 posts, read 54,627,330 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
Depends on who it is and how many are staying. If we go to hub's parents; it's a hotel because it's 3 of us; if it's just him going, he stays with them. It would be the same if we went to mine.

Someone I know recently stayed with a relative. The relatives house was used as a hotel room; all this person did was sleep there, went out sight seeing & eating out all day. Never did the "guest" offer to take the relative out to dinner or spend time with them; nor did they send a thank you card. The relative will say no next time because they feel used..
I've had this happen as well. I hosted an entire family and the husband was rude and they didn't even bring a small gift, let alone taking us to dinner one night. Then they had the nerve to ask if they could stay with us for three weeks a couple years later. Uh, no.

I don't go anywhere without bringing something--a bottle of wine, flowers, a candle, a treat to eat, something!
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Old 06-22-2010, 09:33 AM
 
4,925 posts, read 9,786,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
Someone I know recently stayed with a relative. The relatives house was used as a hotel room; all this person did was sleep there, went out sight seeing & eating out all day. Never did the "guest" offer to take the relative out to dinner or spend time with them; nor did they send a thank you card. The relative will say no next time because they feel used..
That can be aggravating, but as I've gotten older, I expect less and less out of people. That way, if I do get a card or a thank you, I'm pleasantly surprised!

We live close enough to a city that attracts a lot of tourists. As such, we have always had friends and family stay with us, and sometimes it just amounted to a pit stop. We don't mind, and am always glad to see them, even those we felt we were seeing just because we had a place to stay.

But, one thing we did some years ago was finish a two bedroom apartment over my shop. That's become the place of choice to stay. Queen bed on one bedroom, a twin bed and bunk beds in another, a sleeper sofa in the living room. It's own equipped kitchen, full bathroom. Separate building and thus it's own entrance.

It's eliminated a lot of stress felt by both parties.
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Old 06-22-2010, 09:37 AM
 
Location: texas
3,059 posts, read 3,230,726 times
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Guess we like to travel with friends, but when we visit family, we stay with them(unless there is no room). Depends on if all my neices and nephews are going to be running around the place making noise till wee hours....
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Old 06-22-2010, 09:42 AM
 
2,065 posts, read 4,182,422 times
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Heck, if I go visit a friend in the same neighborhood, for a few hours, I take something!

As I said before, when/if I invite people to stay I honestly do expect some courtesy. I would be courteous!!

Staying with friends/family one has to: show respect for their schedule and try to disrupt that as minimally as possible, and show thankfulness by bringing something, taking them to a nice restaurant, and spending some time (not all the time) with them.

And remember the fish rule. And avoid self-inviting.
And do not take nasty guests. It is an uncomfortable stay for everybody.
And do not get upset if people prefer hotels. Be polite and don't nag, it is terrible to stay somewhere you don't want to just to please the host who is clueless and keeps insisting. If visitors let me know they are in town, I will ask about accommodation. If I want them to stay/they want to stay, ok. If not, a nice meal together/ride to the airport (if needed, much appreciated!)/afternoon together will be perfectly fine.

It is their vacation, let them do what they like.
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Old 06-22-2010, 10:06 AM
 
Location: NJ
10,741 posts, read 21,380,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skinem View Post
That can be aggravating, but as I've gotten older, I expect less and less out of people. That way, if I do get a card or a thank you, I'm pleasantly surprised!

We live close enough to a city that attracts a lot of tourists. As such, we have always had friends and family stay with us, and sometimes it just amounted to a pit stop. We don't mind, and am always glad to see them, even those we felt we were seeing just because we had a place to stay.
Similar.. relative lives in such a city; but is over 90.
She gave the 2 girls (her adult grandchild & adult great grandchild) her room; took her a week to clean it for them. While the trip was "planned" relative did not get asked until a week before they came. From what I heard it sounded like one told their mother to call her.

From the way it sounded, they got up in the morning, showered & left, came back late at night. Relative had no clue what they did all day
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Old 06-22-2010, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,409,778 times
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This thing--about taking your host out to dinner--

could that be why my aunts are all fighting over whose place I'm going to stay at? I figured on bringing them all a pound of coffee, ground in-store right before I take my trip.
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Old 06-22-2010, 03:21 PM
 
48,516 posts, read 83,989,888 times
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There is no way I would stay more than a weekend with relatives at their home and certainly not with alot of people. I like some privacy and would not want to intrude on theirs much longer.
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Old 06-22-2010, 04:16 PM
 
4,925 posts, read 9,786,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by texdav View Post
There is no way I would stay more than a weekend with relatives at their home and certainly not with alot of people. I like some privacy and would not want to intrude on theirs much longer.
Yup.

Ben Franklin had it right...fish and visitors stink after three days.
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Old 06-22-2010, 05:04 PM
 
Location: NJ
10,741 posts, read 21,380,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
This thing--about taking your host out to dinner--

could that be why my aunts are all fighting over whose place I'm going to stay at? I figured on bringing them all a pound of coffee, ground in-store right before I take my trip.
When I said out to dinner.. I meant Denny's. lol
She doesn't like fancy.. loves Denny's
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Old 06-22-2010, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,409,778 times
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Well, yeah, Denny's is fine...lol.

Something about the level of a Chili's, Carrabba's, or Applebee's is typically as high class as I'll go. Chain restaurants, but decent.
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