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Old 06-19-2010, 05:49 AM
 
154 posts, read 459,806 times
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My husband and I are going up to PA next month to visit his very large family. The rest of his brothers and sisters who live all over the Mid Atlantic area are going to all stay (and attempt to sleep) at his parents house. They live in a very small 1950s era rambler with three bedrooms. 14 people will be staying at the house.

My husband and I love to TRAVEL to visit friends and relatives but want to stay at a motel or hotel and then go over to the friends house late in the morning after a good nights sleep. This always causes severe conflict with friends and family. They insist we stay with them and we insist we stay at a hotel. But sides get angry after the insisting is done.

My brothers parents and siblings are especially angry that we stay in a hotel instead of their home. So one time we backed down and stayed at their house and slept on the air mattress. Trouble was neither of us slept a wink and there was noise in the house 22 hours of the day.

How about you, when you travel to visit friends and family, are you pushed to stay with them even though you would prefer to stay in a motel? If you do stay with family or friends can you sleep well in the guest room?
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Old 06-19-2010, 05:57 AM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,123 posts, read 17,121,718 times
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Well, I like to stay with Friend/Fam when i travel, but also when people out number beds, I stay in hotels, F/F Want to save me the money of the hotel say, I usualy tell them I've already book'ed the hotel and its non/refundable so I would have to pay for it weather I stay there or not. Side note one winter My son invited all the other kids there to come to the Hotel indoor pool one afternoon. All the other parents were happy to empty the house for a little while.
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Old 06-19-2010, 06:48 AM
 
9,807 posts, read 13,449,524 times
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I am similar to the OP.

I make sure I already have the motel reservation beforehand.
It has nothing to do with getting a better nights sleep.

It gives both the host and the visitor a break and neither one are " under the gun" 24 hours a day.

Much less stressfull for both parties involved.
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Old 06-19-2010, 09:25 AM
 
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We always stay with relatives when we visit them at xmas - but they both have spare rooms that are comfortable. These trips are always 3+ weeks so we split our stay between the 2 relatives houses, and sometimes we take a short trip on our own where we stay in a hotel. Most of our travels though at staying at B & B's and hotels and sometimes self-catering.
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Old 06-19-2010, 11:52 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,537 posts, read 39,914,033 times
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I stay in private Guest homes for ~$10 - $20 / night and have only had one bad experience in 20 yrs. (I have already done over 20 stays this yr). If you are over age 50 there are more options for guest home directories.

I sometimes stay in guest homes nearby even when visiting family. (Some family / sleeping arrangements / pets / mess / smells / conflicts / TV noise / teenagers playing electric guitars / are not worth the grief) I would do a hotel if need be to get a decent night's sleep, I just feel safer and more comfortable in private guest homes, and the interesting people are worth some extra time chatting.

I will be trying Couchsurfing.com if need be. I did a 2 Hostels last month and each were fine, one was GREAT. ... ~$25 / night w/ complete kitchens and a variety of new 'friends'.

Don't be intimidated by family, just pleasantly endure the time you get with them and thank them for the offer of staying, but that you would prefer to make your own arrangements for sleeping, no strife intended. Tell them you SNORE too loudly and it is a terrible thing to bother them with.
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Old 06-19-2010, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,367,562 times
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No, I do NOT.

I do not want to wear out my welcome, or put them out. Plus, I was raised that you should not EXPECT family to offer you a place to stay or a meal. It is nice if they do offer, but you should not go with the expectation that you will get this.

All three of my aunts on my mother's side live in the same town, and ALL have offered to let me stay at their place when I visit. I'll be visiting with each of them, but have my own ideas of what I find entertaining, and do not want to burden them. I'll have to make some adjustments on my trip as it is, since I'm normally up all night and sleep during the day--I'll have to switch that up some. But being in and out, and not being sure how long I'll be out--


Perfect example: I enjoy karaoke. I could be out until midnight just doing that. I can't expect them to stay up until midnight waiting on me to come back. And they shouldn't have to think of ways to "entertain" me while I'm in their home--I don't want to put that burden on them either. This is one reason why I never have guests of my own.

EDIT: In line with what the OP is saying--if I agree to stay with one of them, then the other two will be upset/disappointed.
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Old 06-19-2010, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
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I would much rather stay in a hotel. I always tell people they are welcome to stay at my house, but truthfully, if they want to stay at a hotel, I am relieved.
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Old 06-20-2010, 02:12 AM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
10,234 posts, read 13,977,460 times
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I hate, hate, HATE staying overnight at people's houses, including family. I don't like to get up in the morning with other people up and about, and in most cases there is only one bathroom. I much prefer a motel.

But I will admit that I don't like overnighters at my house, either. For the same reasons. My house is small with only one bathroom, and I am too used to getting up in the morning and not having to talk to anyone else (except the husband).
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Old 06-20-2010, 09:32 AM
 
154 posts, read 459,806 times
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I just can not imagine the average person sleeping very well at a relatives house. Sure in a few rare cases, the guest room has a very comfortable bed and everyone goes to bed at a decent time. But usually the guest room has a bed from the 1970s and people are talking and moving around all night and we just do not sleep well. If I do not sleep the whole next day is ruined.

Do you sleep well at the relatives house?
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Old 06-20-2010, 09:40 AM
 
2,024 posts, read 2,985,773 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by email_lover View Post
I just can not imagine the average person sleeping very well at a relatives house. Sure in a few rare cases, the guest room has a very comfortable bed and everyone goes to bed at a decent time. But usually the guest room has a bed from the 1970s and people are talking and moving around all night and we just do not sleep well. If I do not sleep the whole next day is ruined.

Do you sleep well at the relatives house?
I sleep fine at my relatives' houses. Their guestrooms are very nice and quite comfortable. We even get our own bathroom at one relative's house. They all go to bed about the same time we do and no one is up all night or making noise. We make ourselves completely at home.

We've had many relatives at our house as well.
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