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Old 08-20-2010, 07:29 AM
 
239 posts, read 786,568 times
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I love spending time with my husband's family and friends. Many of them love to travel and I thought it would be great if we could travel with them and get a different perspective. The trouble we are experiencing is that most of our family and friends want to travel like kings and spend hundreds of dollars on their hotels and out to eat meals. We use Priceline (name your own price) and eat at places like Cracker Barrel or split meals.

Do you struggle with travel companions who spend lots of money?
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Old 08-20-2010, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Bike to Surf!
3,080 posts, read 9,944,871 times
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Bad idea. You'll resent them for costing you extra; dragging you to fancy places, and they'll resent you for being cheap or mooches. You can all go to the same place at the same time and maybe even do some of the same activities, but better avoid traveling together.
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Old 08-20-2010, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Savannah GA/Lk Hopatcong NJ
13,106 posts, read 24,898,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sponger42 View Post
Bad idea. You'll resent them for costing you extra; dragging you to fancy places, and they'll resent you for being cheap or mooches. You can all go to the same place at the same time and maybe even do some of the same activities, but better avoid traveling together.
I agree!! One of the biggest reasons we travel alone..when you are with other people their agenda becomes yours. We only travel once in awhile with the one son & dil as we are more in tune with each other as far as costs for hotels...food...

on vacations longer than a long weekend, if available, we ditch the hotels and find a house, condo etc on vaction rentals by owner..you have a fully stocked kitchen, grill so it cuts down on the eating out and also eliminates the ridiculous parking fees some hotels now charge.....$25-30 a day to park at a hotel I'm already spending $$$ on...I think not
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Old 08-20-2010, 10:30 AM
 
Location: San Diego
5,027 posts, read 13,420,830 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Outcast View Post

Do you struggle with travel companions who spend lots of money?
Nope, we just don't travel with those kinds of people! We travel for pleasure at least once a month. If we spent that kind of money, it would be more like once a year. Not gonna happen!
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Old 08-20-2010, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,663 posts, read 74,292,936 times
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One way would be to just say, right up front, "We have X dollars to spend on this trip, which is Y for hotels and Z for meals, and 0 for entertainment. If you want us to do anything with you that would bust our budget, you pay the difference. Deal?"

I have a friend that I have gone on road trips with a few times, and she has higher standards than mine. When we go, it is understood that we split the gas, and we pay for our own meals. But normally, when I travel, I sleep in my car. So she pays for the motel doubles, and I can occupy the room if I want to. I wind up eating better, because she goes to nicer restaurants, but my gas cost is cut in half, so it all works out within the respective budgets of each of us.

Last edited by jtur88; 08-20-2010 at 10:49 AM..
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Old 08-20-2010, 12:26 PM
 
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No, bc I don't travel with anyone other than immediate family unless they have the same standards as mine:

I cannot afford expensive vacations and I still want to be able to travel, so as long as the places I am eating and staying are clean and safe that is perfectly fine with me. Basically, that is my standard.

I don't see much sense in spending a lot in a hotel that is going to be vacant all day long while I am visiting places.
I don't see much sense in going to super expensive restaurants when the best food I have ever tried was eaten at places where the locals go, which are usually reasonably affordable.

You can spend time with people you enjoy being with during a trip but you don't necessarily have to stay at their hotel and have meals with them at all times...

To each his own, but I prefer to do my homework and enjoy my vacation as much as the splurge team does, but still manage to maintain my tight budget pretty much as expected.
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Old 08-21-2010, 09:54 AM
 
14,261 posts, read 24,004,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Outcast View Post
I love spending time with my husband's family and friends. Many of them love to travel and I thought it would be great if we could travel with them and get a different perspective. The trouble we are experiencing is that most of our family and friends want to travel like kings and spend hundreds of dollars on their hotels and out to eat meals. We use Priceline (name your own price) and eat at places like Cracker Barrel or split meals.

Do you struggle with travel companions who spend lots of money?


I would NOT vacation with them if you will not enjoy it.

My family goes to a small cabin in a remote area of Ontario for 2-3 long weeks. To me, that is about as pleasurable as daily root canals. We do great loop vacations where we are rarely at a hotel more than 2-3 night.

What I don't understand is that if the money is the issue, why not let them stay in the hotel that they book in and you Priceline/Hotwire the place nearby?

Many years ago, I planned a get together for 50 friends over the internet in Las Vegas. The fifty people stayed at 30 different hotel properties. Prior to the start of the weekend, we decided where we would eat and when we were going to get together for other activities. If you did not want to attend something, that was fine.

If they want to spend a lot of money, that is fine. I don't. And I don't listen to those family members who love to say, "YOU CAN AFFORD IT!" To which I respond, "BUT WHY?"
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Old 08-21-2010, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
17,032 posts, read 26,885,461 times
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As I've gotten older, the few times I've traveled 'with a group', I've set some of my 'guidelines'.

Just because we all go to the same place doesn't mean we have to do things together or stay at the same hotel.

If we want to set up a couple common dinners or lunches that is fine but there is no mandatory attendance.

I dont use group vacations as a reason to hang out with so-and-so, I go to see the place.

Same with dinners, If everyone wants to snorkel we can set up a day when MOST are available, if you can make it fine.
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Old 08-21-2010, 10:38 AM
 
Location: on an island
13,382 posts, read 40,928,266 times
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I've only done it a couple of times, but it was fine, I'd do it again.
If you care enough to do it, you compromise.

One time we met in Italy. In Siena we had dinner at a medium priced place restaurant, and stayed in the hotel we had planned on--they stayed someplace else outside of the city center. Later on our moveable feast progressed to several other towns in Tuscany and Umbria. For this part of the trip, we had not pre-arranged lodging, but everything worked out. They understood that we had certain constraints. We ate together but stayed in different pensioni.
In Todi we agreed on a big splurgy dinner, and it was one of the most enjoyable and memorable meals I've ever had. They paid for the Brunello, which was superb.

One of those relatives has since passed away.
I'm so glad we went.
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Old 08-23-2010, 12:03 PM
 
11,256 posts, read 43,430,517 times
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Been There, Done That. Several times.

It became very uncomfortable for me to spend money that I didn't have, especially when the flow of the trip was the expectation that we'd "treat" the others to thank them for the times that they did so.

They were well able to afford the gesture, and the fine dining and special chef requests and fancy bottles of wine ... I was not.

When your finances allow the expenditure of a given amount and you're taken to places with a per person price 3-4-5 (or even many more) times that amount, it doesn't matter how great and fabulous the meal is. It simply strikes terror into your heart and stomach, knowing you simply can't afford the indulgence ... and that it will take months to pay off the credit card from even a single meal, let alone the pricey resort hotel stay or the travel expenses. Some folk can afford this type of living standard every day ... some of us, like me, cannot afford it but once every couple of years. It simply doesn't work for me to agree to meet at certain destination resorts, or to stay at the places they do, and I don't golf, play tennis, or watch spectator sports (let alone from a leased skybox with caterers), or enjoy the same pricey destinations that they do.

OTOH, they have no appreciation for a wilderness camping experience, no pleasure from a gourmet meal while camping, no satisfaction from a day fishing,
no enjoyment from sailing or flying or cruising a motorcycle ... and look down their noses at the things I do for a living or recreation as well below their dignity. I didn't choose these pursuits as a "second choice" because it's all the money I had, I actively choose to do these things for me.

Essentially, you've got others dictating to you how to handle your finances and playing one-upmanship games in a league that you cannot afford.

I appreciate their personal financial success, but I set out on other paths and didn't achieve their wealth ... it wasn't a goal for me, and I've managed to earn a modest amount that pays for my pleasures and needs in life. Frankly, I'm just as happy ... if not more so ... than they are, and I can be satisfied without the opulence and conspicuous consumption which marks their lives. I don't look forward to their big deals, and I don't miss them, either.

I've had this happen with family, friends, and would-be future in-laws. I knew up front that I wasn't in their financial stratosphere, and I made a decision after the last time a girl friend pulled this on me to never put myself in this position again. I don't travel with these people, I don't socialize with them, and I don't cry myself to sleep every night that I don't have the affluence that they do. Our paths to enjoyment are different ... they need to be entertained, and I go out and do things. If I want a gourmet meal, I cook it ... which brings me a lot of satisfaction, and their puzzlement over how I can do it. They simply hire a chef.

Last edited by sunsprit; 08-23-2010 at 12:26 PM..
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