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Old 07-26-2011, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Eureka CA
8,250 posts, read 11,110,384 times
Reputation: 12563

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Stay home and send the 7-year old. SHE'LL have an adventure.
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Old 07-26-2011, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Pacific Northwest
1,754 posts, read 1,588,920 times
Reputation: 3449
Some posters responses have been a little judgemental IMO.

If the OP and his wife don't want to go. They don't want to go. End of story.

If the MIL gets bent over this, it's her problem.

Actually, I'm more inclined to see her as a bit of a control freak. If a person was planning a mega-family vay-cay like this I kind of feel like they should present several destination options and let the invited members vote on which one they would take.
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Old 07-26-2011, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,348 posts, read 7,825,595 times
Reputation: 18574
Stay home. You're absolutely correct not to go. It's a terrible inconvenience your mil is inflicting on you.

That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it?

Why come here and ask what people think if you only want them to think you're right?

Go. Don't go. No skin off my nose.
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Old 07-26-2011, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,175 posts, read 16,645,345 times
Reputation: 12323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
Don't take this the wrong way, but based on everything you wrote, you two seem like the martyr type.
I won't take it the wrong way, and I don't consider us the "martyr type." When something needs to be done we do it. If it has to be done at some sacrifice to ourselves, we weigh everything out and act accordingly.

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No vacation in 4 yrs and you get a chance to do this for free and you turn it down?
Your comprehensive reading skills are very strong.

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I think the reasons you listed are not reason, they are excuses.
As I pointed out in my response to Jeromeville, the first 2 reasons could be overcome. I think the other 2 are legitimate.

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There is something else going on here. Either you are resetnful that you moved for the FIL and you feel like that sacrifice wasn't appreciated or there is some other issue with that side of the family.
You listen to Dr. Laura too much. We had actually planned to move to this area all along, we just had to do it a little sooner than we were prepared to due to my father-in-law's illness. I only mentioned this to illustrate the fact that the others involved are at a different place in life than we are and can't really relate to our current situation.

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In my opinion, unless you have a SERIOUS conflict (your best friend is getting married, etc), you don't turn down something like this.
I consider skipping out on a possible family vacation in order to take this trip a SERIOUS conflict.

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A lot of people would change places with you in a heartbeat.
I'd be happy to accomodate them, unfortunately I think this is a non-transferrable offer.

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Also, with the business and pets, are you EVER going to take a vacation?
My wife runs a lodge that caters to hunters and fishermen, there are about 4 months out of the year that are so slow that we could shut the doors and not miss out on any business. And we do have a neighbor that can care for the dogs, and there are a dozen other lesser responsibilities that we could have covered for a short period of time. But if we are going to go to all that trouble we want it to be for something we really want to do, not something that other people want us to do.
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Old 07-26-2011, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,175 posts, read 16,645,345 times
Reputation: 12323
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
Stay home. You're absolutely correct not to go. It's a terrible inconvenience your mil is inflicting on you.

That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it?
If that's your honest opinion, yes. Or, if someone can share with me their experiences that will convince me why taking an "adults only" vacation to the Panama Canal would be a great thing, I'd love to hear that, as well.

What I didn't want to hear was 20yrsinbranson - who, frankly, is probably my favorite poster on these boards - hit me with the same guilt trip that my sisters-in-law are using on my wife, or Book Lover 21 going all Dr. Phil on me and reading things into my post that just weren't there. So I've countered their comments with comments of my own that hopefully clarify things a little bit. Sorry if that offends you.

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Why come here and ask what people think if you only want them to think you're right?
I don't "only want them to think I'm right," I want them to tell me why I'm wrong if they think I'm wrong rather than hit me with a guilt trip or try to psychoanalyze me. That is all.
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Old 07-26-2011, 01:30 PM
 
3,395 posts, read 3,353,605 times
Reputation: 9264
Well, you DID mention earlier that her family is dysfunctional, so I wasn't channeling Dr. Laura so much as respond to what you actually said.

I just love travel so much, I can't imagine regretting something like this afterwards....UNLESS the family is a real pain. That I could relate to, which is why I mentioned it.

BTW, I have a co-worker that just got back from a Panama Canal cruise and she said it was breathtaking. So, maybe that's part of why I was so adamant in my reply.

If your business is slow 4 months a year, and this trip is during the busy period, I think I would weigh the figures. Would your business lose more money than the trip is worth? Then as a business banker, I would veto the trip.
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Old 07-26-2011, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Englewood, FL
1,460 posts, read 1,492,072 times
Reputation: 950
I totally respect and admire the OP's point of view. I did go on a cruise to the Panama Canal and enjoyed it immensely, but it's not for everyone. Kudos to him for knowing what he wants and doesn't want.
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Old 07-26-2011, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,175 posts, read 16,645,345 times
Reputation: 12323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
Well, you DID mention earlier that her family is dysfunctional, so I wasn't channeling Dr. Laura so much as respond to what you actually said.
Good point, I forgot that I mentioned that. The "dysfunctionality" doesn't really bother me (I hate to say it but it's so ridiculous that I actually find it rather amusing), but it makes my wife uncomfortable.

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I just love travel so much, I can't imagine regretting something like this afterwards....UNLESS the family is a real pain. That I could relate to, which is why I mentioned it.
I also love to travel, and 10 years ago or 10 years from now I would be all over an offer like this. But I know I have a really short window where my daughter will want to do things with us and since it's hard for us to get away I'd rather do a week at a state park with her than 10 days on a cruise without her.

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BTW, I have a co-worker that just got back from a Panama Canal cruise and she said it was breathtaking. So, maybe that's part of why I was so adamant in my reply.
This is the sort of thing that could sway me. When I think of the Panama Canal I tend to think of heat, humidity, mosquitos, and anacondas, none of which appeal to me.

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If your business is slow 4 months a year, and this trip is during the busy period, I think I would weigh the figures. Would your business lose more money than the trip is worth? Then as a business banker, I would veto the trip.
Actually, I think the trip is scheduled for late March, which would be a very good time to get away. So this really is more of an excuse than a reason.
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Old 07-26-2011, 01:53 PM
 
3,395 posts, read 3,353,605 times
Reputation: 9264
BTW, I TOTALLY get your not wanting to leave your daughter. We were planning a trip for our anniversary a few years ago. The idea of leaving our kids for two weeks was eating me alive. We decided to take a trip with our in-laws AND the kids. Looking back now it was definitely my gut telling me to change the trip. And it was a wonderful trip too. I didn't have to mope around missing the kids.

So, why aren't any kids invited? Are the sisters leaving their kids at home, or do they not have kids?
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Old 07-26-2011, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,348 posts, read 7,825,595 times
Reputation: 18574
Quote:
Originally Posted by duster1979 View Post
If that's your honest opinion, yes. Or, if someone can share with me their experiences that will convince me why taking an "adults only" vacation to the Panama Canal would be a great thing, I'd love to hear that, as well.

What I didn't want to hear was 20yrsinbranson - who, frankly, is probably my favorite poster on these boards - hit me with the same guilt trip that my sisters-in-law are using on my wife, or Book Lover 21 going all Dr. Phil on me and reading things into my post that just weren't there. So I've countered their comments with comments of my own that hopefully clarify things a little bit. Sorry if that offends you.



I don't "only want them to think I'm right," I want them to tell me why I'm wrong if they think I'm wrong rather than hit me with a guilt trip or try to psychoanalyze me. That is all.
Why do you take disagreement with your stance as a "guilt trip"? I have read the entire thread and some people think you're right and some think you should go. I don't see that as a guilt trip. I see it as "you asked what we thought and we're telling you."
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