U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Travel
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-26-2011, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Bangor Maine
3,442 posts, read 5,610,484 times
Reputation: 3980

Advertisements

Have your wife go and you stay home and take care of the 7 year old and the pets. After all it is HER family. Is there any reason they wouldn't want her to attend alone?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-26-2011, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,175 posts, read 16,645,345 times
Reputation: 12323
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
Why do you take disagreement with your stance as a "guilt trip"? I have read the entire thread and some people think you're right and some think you should go. I don't see that as a guilt trip. I see it as "you asked what we thought and we're telling you."
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
Someday your mother-in-law will be dead. And maybe so will some of your wife's sisters.
If this isn't a good, old-fashioned, midwestern guilt trip, then I don't know what is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2011, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,175 posts, read 16,645,345 times
Reputation: 12323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Newdaawn View Post
Have your wife go and you stay home and take care of the 7 year old and the pets. After all it is HER family. Is there any reason they wouldn't want her to attend alone?
No, but she is more opposed to going that I am. She has told me that I am welcome to go by myself, and frankly I think I get along better with her family than she does, but I have no desire to go without my family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2011, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Bangor Maine
3,442 posts, read 5,610,484 times
Reputation: 3980
Then it's a no brainer. Just graciously thank her for her offer and tell her that you will not be able to attend. Who runs your family? You and your wife or your wife's mother?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2011, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,175 posts, read 16,645,345 times
Reputation: 12323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
So, why aren't any kids invited? Are the sisters leaving their kids at home, or do they not have kids?
Couple of reasons the kids aren't invited, for one it's pretty costly, for another it's during the school year and only the three oldest grandkids are out of college.

So the three older sisters' kids are either out of the house or old enough that they can be left alone with someone checking in on them daily. She has a younger sister with a son younger than our daughter, but I doubt that she'll go as she's going through a career transition and probably won't be able to get the time off.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2011, 02:41 PM
 
Location: SW France
14,249 posts, read 14,137,087 times
Reputation: 27914
Duster, don't feel guilty at all.

I totally understand your reasons for not wishing to go.

Generous though the offer is it would be selfish to expect you and your wife to have to forsake time, and especially vacation time, with your daughter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2011, 03:17 PM
 
Location: California Mountains
1,448 posts, read 2,587,597 times
Reputation: 2334
Is the offer all-inclusive? Are you required to be with the group the entire time?

If the answer is yes on #1 and no on #2, perhaps you could look at the trip in a different way. You could consider it *your* vacation, a free one in which all you and your wife have to do is spending a little time with the group in exchange for an opportunity to see an interesting place that you would never spend your own money to visit. Panama is not much different from other countries in Central America, but Panama Canal is an engineering marvel, a historical site that is very interesting and highly educational. We've been through the canal *very slowly* twice (we were on a freighter, which, without a canal passing appointment, took almost two days each time to get from one side of the canal to the other) and we were in awed both times. I can take or leave Panama, but I highly recommend Panama Canal as a should-see-at-least-once place.

Can you and your wife have that free trip as a couple (well, a couple and an annoying group of relatives!) and another one with your daughter later, or is this the only window of vacation available for you, your wife, and your daughter?

If you can see this the way I propose, then go and have an enjoyable time with your wife in spite of the relatives, but if the answers to any/all of the questions were not agreeable to you, or if you/your wife wouldn't care to be around anyone in the group for any reason and any amount of time, then of course, just politely say no and let it go.

Last edited by Ol' Wanderer; 07-26-2011 at 03:31 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2011, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,348 posts, read 7,825,595 times
Reputation: 18574
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles in PGI View Post
Is the offer all-inclusive? Are you required to be with the group the entire time?

If the answer is yes on #1 and no on #2, perhaps you could look at the trip in a different way. You could consider it *your* vacation, a free one in which all you and your wife have to do is spending a little time with the group in exchange for an opportunity to see an interesting place that you would never spend your own money to visit. Panama is not much different from other countries in Central America, but Panama Canal is an engineering marvel, a historical site that is very interesting and highly educational. We've been through the canal twice, very slowly both times -- we were on a freighter, which, without a canal passing appointment, took almost two days to get from one side of the canal to the other -- and we were in awed both times. I can take or leave Panama, but I highly recommend Panama Canal as a should-see-at-least-once place.

Can you and your wife have that free trip as a couple (well, a couple and an annoying group of relatives!) and still have another one with your daughter later, or is this the only window of vacation available for you, your wife, and your daughter?

However, if the answers to the questions were not agreeable to you, or if you wouldn't care to be around anyone in the group for any reason and any amount of time, then of course, just politely say no and let it go.
That's the best advice you're going to get.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2011, 03:36 PM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,175 posts, read 16,645,345 times
Reputation: 12323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles in PGI View Post
Is the offer all-inclusive? Are you required to be with the group the entire time?

If the answer is yes on #1 and no on #2, perhaps you could look at the trip in a different way. You could consider it *your* vacation, a free one in which all you and your wife have to do is spending a little time with the group in exchange for an opportunity to see an interesting place that you would never spend your own money to visit. Panama is not much different from other countries in Central America, but Panama Canal is an engineering marvel, a historical site that is very interesting and highly educational. We've been through the canal twice, very slowly both times -- we were on a freighter, which, without a canal passing appointment, took almost two days to get from one side of the canal to the other -- and we were in awed both times. I can take or leave Panama, but I highly recommend Panama Canal as a should-see-at-least-once place.

Can you and your wife have that free trip as a couple (well, a couple and an annoying group of relatives!) and another one with your daughter later, or is this the only window of vacation available for you, your wife, and your daughter?

If you can see this the way I propose, then go and enjoy time with your wife in spite of the relatives, but if the answers to any/all of the questions were not agreeable to you, or if you wouldn't care to be around anyone in the group for any reason and any amount of time, then of course, just politely say no and let it go.
Charles, thanks for the input. I believe it is an all-inclusive tour, and I also believe there would be opportunities to do things away from the group.

I do think the canal itself would be fascinating; if it were a shorter trip I think I'd be more inclined to want to go. But the whole cruise routine doesn't really appeal to me. When people excitedly tell me about cruises they've been on my response is usually to paste on a smile, nod, and say "Oh, that sounds fascinating" once in awhile and hope that someone changes the subject.

Getting away for more than one trip would be an issue, especially since we will need 14 days for this one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2011, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
4,486 posts, read 15,281,488 times
Reputation: 3935
Bad people? No. Crazy? Maybe a bit.

Honestly, this is a pretty awesome opportunity...I'd gladly go!

You say you want to save for a family vacation to a state park? This isn't the 70's and you're NOT the Brady Bunch. What families honestly go to state parks nowadays? That's something reserved for senior citizens with 40 foot motorhomes.

If you honestly want to take a family vacation, take your daughter to Disney World. And why exactly would going on a family vacation conflict with going on an adult trip to the GORGEOUS Panama Canal? Your MIL is paying right? Where's your expense except for lost wages?

I think you're crazy for passing up this opportunity but obviously it's your decision and nobody elses. I think you WOULD have a great time if you went though, I've known folks who have gone on cruises there and raved how much they loved it. Your daughter is only 7, you have quite a few years before she refuses to claim you as parents. Live a little.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Travel
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top