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Old 07-26-2011, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,359 posts, read 7,856,179 times
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Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
Someday your mother-in-law will be dead. And maybe so will some of your wife's sisters.


Quote:
Originally Posted by duster1979 View Post
If this isn't a good, old-fashioned, midwestern guilt trip, then I don't know what is.
Well, that does it. You don't have to go to Panama. You're already booked on that midwestern guilt trip. Bon voyage.
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Old 07-28-2011, 01:00 AM
 
4,800 posts, read 10,605,031 times
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I'd say don't go, but in my family the old adage applies that fish and family go bad after 3 days. Never really understood some family members who pressure others to do things (you will come and you will have fun dammit!).
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Old 07-28-2011, 02:12 AM
 
34,505 posts, read 41,641,104 times
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Make a compromise and just send the wife..
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Old 07-30-2011, 01:18 PM
 
47,573 posts, read 60,760,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duster1979 View Post
My mother-in-law is taking a 10-day trip to the Panama Canal next spring and has invited her 5 daughters and their husbands to come along at her expense. While we appreciate her generous offer, my wife and I don't want to go for the following reasons:
  1. We don't really have anyone to leave our 7-year-old daughter with for 10 days.
  2. We have other obligations, including pets and a business, that make it very difficult to get away for that long of a trip.
  3. We haven't been able to take a family vacation in the last 4 years; if we take this trip there's no way we will be able to get away for a family trip next summer, and if we have to choose we'd much rather take a trip with our daughter, even if it's just a camping trip to a state park.
  4. Frankly, we're just not interested in going on this type of vacation.

My wife is getting the guilt trip from her mom and a couple of her sisters about us not wanting to go. To add a little background, the sisters' kids are all either out of the house or old enough to stay on their own. They are also doing well financially, whereas we took major paycuts so we could move closer and help out when my FIL's health went south 3 years ago (he passed this spring). So they have a hard time relating to our point-of-view.

So I need some opinions here. Are we just being selfish, and do we need to suck it up and take this trip? Or are our reasons for not wanting to go legitimate?

Thanks in advance!
If you haven't had a vacation in 4 years and would have to leave your kid out of it, I think it would be terrible to go. I wouldn't take a vacation without a child because the fun in vacations when you have kids is to have them with them.

It's a lot less selfish to plan something your child can be in on.
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Old 07-30-2011, 01:25 PM
 
47,573 posts, read 60,760,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duster1979 View Post
If this isn't a good, old-fashioned, midwestern guilt trip, then I don't know what is.
I think if you went, you and your wife would be miserable. If you saw something cool, you'd only think how great it would be if your daughter were there to enjoy it with you.

I've been away from my kids for just a couple days and the whole time could only think how fun it would be if only there were there too.

Some people enjoy vacations away from their kids but to others, a vacation is time with the kids.
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Old 07-30-2011, 01:31 PM
 
26,590 posts, read 54,706,123 times
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Not having someone to leave your daughter with for 12 days (yes, it's a 10 day cruise with a travel day on either end, so 12 days) is good enough for me.

You don't just ditch a kid for that long unless you've really got someone totally competent and trustworthy to leave them with.

On top of that, there's nothing wrong with refusing this for a family vacation with your child. And ignore the person who said that only old people go to State parks and implied that good parents take kids to Disney. That couldn't be further from the truth.
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Old 08-01-2011, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,181 posts, read 16,715,561 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annerk View Post
And ignore the person who said that only old people go to State parks
LOL, I took that comment with a grain of salt because the poster is from Arizona; I figure in a state there most of the polulation is made up of senior citizens you probably will have a lot of senior citizens at the state parks.

I appreciate all the comments. In spite of what Theatergypsy believes, I really do want to hear what people think of our desire not to take this trip. After reading the replies I feel confident that there is nothing wrong with us for not wanting to go, but at the same time I am a little more inclined to take the trip if all the obstacles could be overcome.
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Old 08-01-2011, 11:43 AM
 
Location: IL
2,992 posts, read 4,430,699 times
Reputation: 3085
I turn down opportunities to travel, go to events, etc all the time because I can't take my kids. My family would never think of planning a "family" vacation, without the kids.

Just last night I was thinking how antsy I have been lately. My friend is planning an Oktoberfest trip and I was telling her my memories from 10-15 years ago when I had gone (twice). I was then thinking, "I need to go somewhere with just my wife" and was mulling european places over, but then I started thinking how much we would miss our kids and be sad they couldn't share the experience with us (even when they are super annoying). I think a weekend away is the most I would want to vaca without my kids.
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Old 08-01-2011, 12:00 PM
 
3,395 posts, read 3,364,239 times
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We took a trip recently without our 10 yr old, but the reason was that he was taking a 3 week fishing trip with grandparents (priceless).

So, he actually left us BEFORE we took our 5-day trip. We focused on doing things that would be inappropriate or mind-numbingly boring for a 10 yr old....and of course, ROMANCE!
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Old 08-01-2011, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,369 posts, read 18,050,929 times
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If it were me, knowing what I know now, I'd go on the trip being offered and postpone your own family vacation for a few years. The biggest reason, even if you wait a year to go on a vacation so that your daughter can go along, she won't remember much of it when she's older. She won't appreciate it as much. At 8 years old, she won't be able to store those memories as well for later on in life.

The vacation offered by your family is a once in a lifetime event for your wife to enjoy this trip with her mom and sisters. Do this now, and then a few years from now go on a family vacation that the three of you can enjoy and your daughter will have fonder memories of when she's older. Just my .02 cents.
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