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Old 01-16-2012, 07:27 PM
 
115 posts, read 297,171 times
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Hello,

I am a recently married man and my wife and I live a unique lifestyle in terms of travel and such. ( I did post last summer in the relationship section as to whether such a marriage could work.)

I live a more steady 9 to 5 lifestyle, earning an upper middle class income to pay the bills.

She is financially supported by me and uses her freedom to go on trips (around 8-9 weeks a year of travel along with several short trips).

She enjoys her freedom to travel and I enjoy living vicariously through her adventures.

My question to all you travelers out there is the following:

1. Does anyone know of any couples that live the following lifestyle: Husband works as the breadwinner, wife uses her freedom to take several trips a year?

2. If so, how does the marriage work out? How does the husband feel about his wive's freedom to travel? How does the wife feel about her husband staying at home working?

As travelers, if anyone is aware of anyone in a similar situation, I would be truly interested as to your experiences.

Thanks tremendously

 
Old 01-16-2012, 07:37 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,376 posts, read 56,182,364 times
Reputation: 90460
Simple answer: if the husband supply his wife with the means to travel, he should not complain about.
" How the husband feel about his wive's freedom to travel? " - I assume their marriage is a mutual agreement: he agreed to work, and he also agreed that she would not work, he agreed to support her financially, and he agreed to pay for her extensive travel.
" How does the wife feel about her husband staying at home working?" - I guess she is happy that she found a very loving and supportive husband who is giving her everything she wants.
I am not sure why now he is questioning that...
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:43 PM
 
2,319 posts, read 4,107,069 times
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What you described isn't all that dissimilar from my marriage. My husband is the breadwinner and only gets a total of four weeks off. We have to split that time between our trips together and holidays with family.

In the past I have gone on about three to four trips a year without him, but I never go anywhere that he also wants to go. I mean, I don't go out of country without him. I visit extended family mostly - cousins, aunts, etc. He would like to go but can't get off. A relative just moved to Hawaii, and I won't go without my husband (at least not for the first visit).

I think my husband is ok with it. He never complains and even suggests people I should go see. I think we have a found a nice balance: I don't go anywhere "new" without him.
 
Old 01-16-2012, 10:22 PM
 
Location: California Mountains
1,448 posts, read 2,598,104 times
Reputation: 2334
I left the work force at 48, years before my husband, who is three years older than I, was ready to retire. Less than a year after I quit working, we agreed on a move to Europe. Since he had become the sole breadwinner, we decided together that I would make the move while he continued to support us both. I went to Europe, bought an ancient house, brought in modern comforts, dealt with the necessary steps to become a resident, and waited for my husband to join me. He had no qualm about supporting me. Even more, he encouraged me to travel as much as I wished so I would not feel too lonely. Therefore, for 3.5 years, I lived and travelled all over the Continent alone, except during the twice-a-year visits from him. I made more than a dozen trips to other countries in those years, some with new and local friends, some alone.

On his 54th birthday, he officially retired, and eight months later, when the necessary paperwork was done, he joined me. There was nothing he needed to do in our new life -- our house was ready, our legal status was solid, and I had learned enough of the language and the customs to smooth out all problems that occurred. I was happy to have my husband with me again, but I was not unhappy to have the opportunity to grow on my own, to learn new experiences, and to create a new life for us, all by myself (not financially, but legally, socially, and everything else-ly!)

Our marriage has always been strong with or without us living under the same roof, and neither of us ever had the niggling question of who supported whom or who enjoyed whose fruits of labour.

Asides from those years not living on the same continent, there were times we took separated holidays because of one reason or another. One year, I took a seven-week trip to Asia with my sister. It was a sisters trip, so husband stayed home, not feeling sighted or neglected one bit. Another year, I joined an old friend in NY for a week while he stayed home working since he rather not wasted his vacation days. In recent years, he wished to see his daughter while I rather did something else, so he took a few weeklong trips alone. Then a couple times, we departed together but each went his/her own way for the first half of the trip, then we joined again for the second half.

It has always worked for us.

Last edited by Ol' Wanderer; 01-16-2012 at 10:38 PM..
 
Old 01-16-2012, 10:28 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,376 posts, read 56,182,364 times
Reputation: 90460
Yeah, solid marriage with many years together is different than when people just got married ...
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Old 01-16-2012, 10:46 PM
 
Location: California Mountains
1,448 posts, read 2,598,104 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
Yeah, solid marriage with many years together is different than when people just got married ...
Very true (as always, elnina.)

A friend of mine who has been married for more than 35 years, during which time, he has been the breadwinner and she, the traveller. Her husband truly loves working and staying home, and she could not skip her annual twice-a-year trips to Europe. As far as I know, she has made at least 70 international trips alone or with friends and he footed the bills for all of those trips.

Oh no, I just remember, he did accompany her twice, in all the years I knew her. I guess two out of 70 is not a bad number for him.
 
Old 01-17-2012, 01:17 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,607,240 times
Reputation: 11862
I can't imagine not travelling. I would be way too jealous. Why doesn't she work, is she a housewife? If it works for you, then it's good she can pursue her passion for travel.
 
Old 01-17-2012, 01:36 AM
 
Location: southern california
55,860 posts, read 74,860,798 times
Reputation: 48401
i know a guy who pays for his wife to be gone for months.
 
Old 01-17-2012, 02:27 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,410 posts, read 26,334,977 times
Reputation: 16498
I don't think this is the kind of question to ask on a message board. What works for some doesn't work for others. If it bothers you, tell her.

What I can say, is that my mom has never gone on vacation without my dad. She does however travel for business.
 
Old 01-17-2012, 02:39 AM
 
34,550 posts, read 41,719,434 times
Reputation: 30006
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevechang103 View Post
Hello,

I am a recently married man and my wife and I live a unique lifestyle in terms of travel and such. ( I did post last summer in the relationship section as to whether such a marriage could work.)

I live a more steady 9 to 5 lifestyle, earning an upper middle class income to pay the bills.

She is financially supported by me and uses her freedom to go on trips (around 8-9 weeks a year of travel along with several short trips).

She enjoys her freedom to travel and I enjoy living vicariously through her adventures.

My question to all you travelers out there is the following:

1. Does anyone know of any couples that live the following lifestyle: Husband works as the breadwinner, wife uses her freedom to take several trips a year?

2. If so, how does the marriage work out? How does the husband feel about his wive's freedom to travel? How does the wife feel about her husband staying at home working?

As travelers, if anyone is aware of anyone in a similar situation, I would be truly interested as to your experiences.

Thanks tremendously
I guess if it works for you there isnt much the forum members can say but as you are recently married i'd think you working all the time while your wife has fun spending all your money on fun stuff might get old after a while.What does your wife do between cruises,?Would you consider her a shopaholic? a social gadfly?
From the info you've provided your lifestyle/marriage just doesnt sound balanced..
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