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Sorry to be obtuse and ignorant but what is a "Gay Beach" ? Aren't all beaches accessible to Gay people ? I just find the idea quite bizarre and self segregating which seems rather odd to me.
I can't imagine ever wanting to go to a "hetero beach" even though I am straight. I could not care less what sexual orientation people are when I go to a beach. Is it like a nudist beach for Gay people only ?
Are those beaches so Gay people feel safer being seen walking hand in hand on the beach without potential aggravation from bigots ?
When we were in California last year we spent a lot of time visiting some of its fabulous beaches and there were plenty of Gay couples but not exclusively so. I am sorry if this sounds stupid I just don't get the concept.
Personally I feel that the more we intermingle the better , the less exclusive from either side the more progressive. We should be trying to get together as different groups not setting ourselves apart because of our sexual orientation. It would be a bit like a "white" or "black" beach to me .
I can't answer for the OP, but for me a "gay beach" would be a beach where gay people can intermingle comfortably without fear of bigotry or mistaken identity. It isn't just about holding hands and showing affection otherwise, but it's also about being able to approach a person of the same sex and gauge romantic interest.
There may not be "hetero beaches" as such, but many beaches serve an overwhelmingly hetero clientele. Such an atmosphere may be "family friendly" with children (and many beaches and beach communities market themselves as such), or a hetero atmosphere may be like spring break at Panama City or South Padre or Daytona, where it is assumed the guys are looking at the girls and vice-versa. Imagine a gay guy, amid all the spring breakers, trying to figure out which guys mights be interested in him, and also trying to figure out which guys won't punch him in the face if erroneously approached. To make things easy, gays sometimes congregate in places, like beaches, so they can pursue their lives and be themselves without having to fear retribution. Heteros do actually do similar things--the spring break example applies, but also applicable are other venues (like bars, churches, etc.) that are known for hetero mingling.
I can't answer for the OP, but for me a "gay beach" would be a beach where gay people can intermingle comfortably without fear of bigotry or mistaken identity. It isn't just about holding hands and showing affection otherwise, but it's also about being able to approach a person of the same sex and gauge romantic interest.
There may not be "hetero beaches" as such, but many beaches serve an overwhelmingly hetero clientele. Such an atmosphere may be "family friendly" with children (and many beaches and beach communities market themselves as such), or a hetero atmosphere may be like spring break at Panama City or South Padre or Daytona, where it is assumed the guys are looking at the girls and vice-versa. Imagine a gay guy, amid all the spring breakers, trying to figure out which guys mights be interested in him, and also trying to figure out which guys won't punch him in the face if erroneously approached. To make things easy, gays sometimes congregate in places, like beaches, so they can pursue their lives and be themselves without having to fear retribution. Heteros do actually do similar things--the spring break example applies, but also applicable are other venues (like bars, churches, etc.) that are known for hetero mingling.
Thanks for the answer to my question. Does it mean those beaches are purely for Gay people though ( like private beaches)? Because presumably unless you know you risk the same kind of "embarassment" /confusion if you are Hetero on a Gay beach if you try to pick up a guy as a female, or a woman a bloke if there are a lot of lesbians on a beach ?
I can't say I have ever purposefully "hetero mingled", I go to places I like I could not care less about people's sexual orientation . I suppose I have never really looked at a beach as a pick up joint anyway so I might have been a little naive !
I know what you mean about Gay people being often treated badly by biogts ( look at some posters on C-D) but I was hoping things had moved on a bit in most places.
I guess I feel we need to integrate far more and it is sad that Gay people still feel the need to segregate themselves. In my opinion it tends to foster a "them and us" mentality from both sides which is not particularily progressive. I just wish we could all share the same spaces without having to feel we are diminished because of who we are.
I was approached by Lesbians before and it never occurred to me to be offended but I was flattered instead! I was in Provincetown during Women's week during my honeymoon, hubby had gone for a walk ( I was unable to walk at that particular time ) and a few women approached me whilst I was sitting in a cafe. I just smiled and simply said I was not Gay but thank you nonetheless... No biggie. Your ego and self identity has to be pretty low IMO if you get offended because a person flatters you with their attention...
It saddens me we need to define ourselves by our sexual orientation. But I understand the thinking behing Gay beaches I suppose. I still see it as a retrograde step though and a step further from full acceptance and integration into the rest of "majority" society. We obviously still have a long way to go...
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Originally Posted by Mooseketeer
Thanks for the answer to my question. Does it mean those beaches are purely for Gay people though ( like private beaches)? Because presumably unless you know you risk the same kind of "embarassment" /confusion if you are Hetero on a Gay beach if you try to pick up a guy as a female, or a woman a bloke if there are a lot of lesbians on a beach ?
I can't say I have ever purposefully "hetero mingled", I go to places I like I could not care less about people's sexual orientation . I suppose I have never really looked at a beach as a pick up joint anyway so I might have been a little naive !
I know what you mean about Gay people being often treated badly by biogts ( look at some posters on C-D) but I was hoping things had moved on a bit in most places.
I guess I feel we need to integrate far more and it is sad that Gay people still feel the need to segregate themselves. In my opinion it tends to foster a "them and us" mentality from both sides which is not particularily progressive. I just wish we could all share the same spaces without having to feel we are diminished because of who we are.
I was approached by Lesbians before and it never occurred to me to be offended but I was flattered instead! I was in Provincetown during Women's week during my honeymoon, hubby had gone for a walk ( I was unable to walk at that particular time ) and a few women approached me whilst I was sitting in a cafe. I just smiled and simply said I was not Gay but thank you nonetheless... No biggie. Your ego and self identity has to be pretty low IMO if you get offended because a person flatters you with their attention...
It saddens me we need to define ourselves by our sexual orientation. But I understand the thinking behing Gay beaches I suppose. I still see it as a retrograde step though and a step further from full acceptance and integration into the rest of "majority" society. We obviously still have a long way to go...
Those wouldn't be purely for gay people, but would gain a reputation that would make uncomfortable straights stay away. In general, you can walk into neighborhoods that are communities of similar people (religion, race, sexual orientation, culture, etc.) as they are public property. Of course, some communities are restricted (gated, etc.) and some may have people that don't want you there. I've also understood that "beach culture" is larger in some coastal areas than others, such as New York and Boston versus LA and San Diego.
I think a big issue in self-segregation is a matter of comfort. Your response is a very mature and sophisticated way to approach the issue, but sadly a lot of people feel otherwise and can become hostile toward GLBT people. I also think when politicians make GLBT issues political platforms, they help to build walls, perpetuate intolerance and encourage segregation. Think of it as a government endorsement. That also brings forth annoying people who robotically spout the same drivel they heard from someone else: "don't rub it in our faces," "this is not a traditional family," etc. Also, most people just assume everyone around them is straight, and will make defamatory remarks without thinking. I worked with two guys who were homophobic, and were deathly afraid of guys hitting on them. One was bug-eyed, deathly pale and had a cleft lip, while the other was fat and droopy. Yeah... don't flatter yourself, hon. When you hear people say that stuff again and again and again, you will go somewhere to find sanctuary where you can feel more comfortable.
Thanks for the answer to my question. Does it mean those beaches are purely for Gay people though ( like private beaches)? Because presumably unless you know you risk the same kind of "embarassment" /confusion if you are Hetero on a Gay beach if you try to pick up a guy as a female, or a woman a bloke if there are a lot of lesbians on a beach ?
I can't say I have ever purposefully "hetero mingled", I go to places I like I could not care less about people's sexual orientation . I suppose I have never really looked at a beach as a pick up joint anyway so I might have been a little naive !
I know what you mean about Gay people being often treated badly by biogts ( look at some posters on C-D) but I was hoping things had moved on a bit in most places.
I guess I feel we need to integrate far more and it is sad that Gay people still feel the need to segregate themselves. In my opinion it tends to foster a "them and us" mentality from both sides which is not particularily progressive. I just wish we could all share the same spaces without having to feel we are diminished because of who we are.
I was approached by Lesbians before and it never occurred to me to be offended but I was flattered instead! I was in Provincetown during Women's week during my honeymoon, hubby had gone for a walk ( I was unable to walk at that particular time ) and a few women approached me whilst I was sitting in a cafe. I just smiled and simply said I was not Gay but thank you nonetheless... No biggie. Your ego and self identity has to be pretty low IMO if you get offended because a person flatters you with their attention...
It saddens me we need to define ourselves by our sexual orientation. But I understand the thinking behing Gay beaches I suppose. I still see it as a retrograde step though and a step further from full acceptance and integration into the rest of "majority" society. We obviously still have a long way to go...
PHX gives a good follow-up to your comment, so I'll just remark on a couple of specific points.
I should note that not all gay people (open and closeted) exclusively go to gay venues like "gay beaches" to socialize, and many gays go to a variety of gay-oriented and general-access places. It all depends on the purpose of the trip and other things. I agree, and I'm sure many gays agree, that it's great and important to mix with heteros in all sorts of contexts. But gay-specific venues do allow gays to find friends and lovers, and also provide forums to talk about news of interest and other things. I met my partner 15 years ago at a gay/lesbian running/walking group. If I had gone to a regular running/walking group, I may have made friends, but I probably would not have met my life partner. Similarly, if a hetero woman wants to meet single hetero guys, she probably won't go to a gay/lesbian bar, and she probably wouldn't attend a tupperware party or cosmetics seminar with her goal in mind. You go where the hetero, single men are!
Aside from providing a (not necessarily exclusive) venue for socializing, some gay-oriented groups exist in order to promote a positive image of gays in society (for example, gay choruses), and others exist in order to provide services for people dealing with issues related to sexual awareness (coming out roundtables and such). I think gay-oriented venues are still important, though it's also important to cultivate relationships with a wide variety of people.
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