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Old 04-20-2014, 08:48 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,742 posts, read 9,040,831 times
Reputation: 11143

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I don't find the question of why you are traveling somewhere offensive, I think it's rude because it's a bit nosy. Also, as I mentioned, going on vacation somewhere is enough of an explanation for why somebody is visiting a place. I should have clarified the what is the person doing there question a bit. I meant that when somebody is asking about somebody else going somewhere. The example I mentioned before about the friend going to San Francisco, I was asked what the friend was doing there. I guess I don't ask that about what somebody is doing somewhere as I mentioned before, going on vacation is enough of an explanation for me. I might ask a person when they got back from a vacation if it was fun, but I don't necessarily interrogate for details. I don't mind if a person asked what I did, as long as they don't interrogate me excessively.
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Old 04-20-2014, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Gorgeous Scotland
4,123 posts, read 4,750,631 times
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I don't find this question rude. I've asked people that and I have been asked that.
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Old 04-20-2014, 09:31 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
22,709 posts, read 28,757,635 times
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Why are you doing that is always judgmental, no matter what "that" happens to be. You are demanding that a person justify their actions to you.

Why are you filing your fingernails? Why do you dye your hair red? Why do you wear panrts instead of skirts? Why are you going to San Francisco?

There are ways to discuss an upcoming trip without being judgmental about it. If a person wants to tell you their reason for going, they will without you demanding an immediate explanation.
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Old 04-20-2014, 09:36 AM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
38,021 posts, read 55,817,679 times
Reputation: 89809
I ask and have been asked. Nothing wrong with that. Its up to you how many details you want to share. However, there is no reason for secrecy.
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Last edited by elnina; 04-20-2014 at 09:30 PM..
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Old 04-20-2014, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,564 posts, read 52,699,775 times
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I think those of us who enjoy expressing interest in other's lives and refuse to comply with having only purely transactional conversations need to go out and shoot ourselves what with all our terrible rudeness and all.
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Old 04-20-2014, 10:16 AM
 
Location: New Albany, IN
832 posts, read 1,379,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
I ask and has been asked. Nothing wrong with that. Its up to you how many details you want to share. However, there is no reason for secrecy.
I agree. If you want it kept a secret then why tell anyone where you're going. When you come back and people ask where you were, just say you were out of town. Just because someone asks a question doesn't mean you have to answer it. A question isn't twisting your arm. I have traveled out of the country many times, and I have gotten questions from coworkers and friends about why I'm going somewhere. I simply assume that they ask because they have never been to the places I'm going.
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Old 04-20-2014, 11:16 AM
 
146 posts, read 283,637 times
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I think this question, as with so many others we (including me, at times!) sometimes find offensive, comes from a lack of perspective or compassion about the asker's position. Here's the truth: almost no one asks questions with the intent to offend. So keep that in mind the next time you hear a question you're offended by!

More specifically about the thread: I ask people this all the time. I don't think I've ever offended anyone by it. I love talking about travel, so maybe they see the enthusiasm behind it and know there's no hint of negativity behind it?
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Old 04-20-2014, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Des Moines Metro
5,055 posts, read 6,025,291 times
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Yes! I agree that people just want to chat.

That said, I generally don't share that I'm leaving town with anyone who doesn't have a need to know. Someone like my cat sitter, has a need to know . . .

While en route, if I get engaged in where am I going questions (and why), I always say, "I'm going to X to visit my aunt." It sounds perfectly normal and lets me off the hook. I don't owe anyone details, but I don't want to seem rude or unfriendly, either.

When I get back, I don't generally talk about my trip or post photos, unless someone would benefit from that information. For example, I might post some photos on this forum so people can see want X event in Iowa looks like. I would not post photos from an expensive cruise (not that I would take one). It would make me look like I had money.

I do these things because I'm mindful of security. If I blabbed all over Facebook about taking a trip, criminals might break into my house. If I'm rude to a gas attendant in a small town, she might tell the police officer dropping in for coffee that he should take a closer look at me . . . If I act perfectly "normal," I tend to get left alone and allowed to go about my business unhampered.
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Old 04-20-2014, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
72,014 posts, read 83,671,479 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoEagle View Post
I don't find the question of why you are traveling somewhere offensive, I think it's rude because it's a bit nosy. Also, as I mentioned, going on vacation somewhere is enough of an explanation for why somebody is visiting a place. I should have clarified the what is the person doing there question a bit. I meant that when somebody is asking about somebody else going somewhere. The example I mentioned before about the friend going to San Francisco, I was asked what the friend was doing there. I guess I don't ask that about what somebody is doing somewhere as I mentioned before, going on vacation is enough of an explanation for me. I might ask a person when they got back from a vacation if it was fun, but I don't necessarily interrogate for details. I don't mind if a person asked what I did, as long as they don't interrogate me excessively.
I am certainly not trying to be rude or upset you, but I still don't understand how that can be nosey. Maybe you are being a little too sensitive.
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Old 04-20-2014, 12:35 PM
 
15,554 posts, read 13,546,109 times
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If someone mentions they are going somewhere, to me they are wanting to engage in a conversation about it. If to them it would be rude to ask "why", they obviously would not even bring up they are going anywhere.
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