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Old 07-26-2015, 02:11 AM
 
Location: City of Angels
2,935 posts, read 4,767,656 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo View Post
To be fair, I don't see why a guy can't do the sex tourism thing AND stay in hostels.

When I went to Thailand, I met some professional girl in Bangkok. Then, I stayed in hostels in the islands, went to a Full Moon Party, and had some non-professional fun with another backpacker, an Aussie girl. Great trip!

Can't do that in the Philippines though. There are almost no foreign travelers (except for maybe Boracay).
Very true. I've done both in the city I recommended to him, Medellin. When I first started going there, would stay in a private room at a hostel, since it was around half the price of a hotel room in the same area. After the dorky lonely planet backpacker types would settle in for the night the two owners would take the PUA's and whoremongers barhopping for the night. Good times.
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Old 07-26-2015, 03:15 AM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,424 posts, read 2,092,614 times
Reputation: 3348
Single guy aged 25, often travelling.

-Avoid resorts - these properties cater to the couple/family.
-B&Bs vary. Quite a few are stuffy, under-renovated "restoration" projects with dated (not heritage/vintage, dated) décor appealing to middle class weekender couples looking for slightly less uninspiring sex than usual and a decent over-feeding at the breakfast trough. Others are spectacular and have a charm.
-Hostels are definitely catering to a younger crowd, though they vary widely on location. Be sure to scrutinize the reviews before booking so you can separate the gems from the rubbish. Being woken up by drunks at 2AM and/or squalid conditions can get old very quickly.
-4 or 5 star business/luxury hotels are the most expensive, but I love the anonymity (read: it's not the same guests every day; I am left alone when wanted), polished and unobtrusive service, and the higher level of property amenities. I often choose properties in which the bar/restaurants are local institutions rather than merely a vehicle to screw tired/desperate guests out of more cash. I almost never fail to strike up a conversation when the time comes.
-3 star properties are interesting. You get lots of boutique properties, but many family/couples end up in this bracket due to affordability/location.

If you're looking to meet people, cities are your best shot. I would recommend: London, Dublin, Edinburgh, Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Perth, Auckland, Hong Kong, Chiang Mai, and Bangkok. If you go the biz hotel or hostel route, maybe Bali or Ko Samui/Phanagan/Tao. Avoid Phuket, Fiji, French Polynesia, the Maldives - "beach escape" places. Beach tourism is basically a family/couples "fortress" barring the Gulf of Thailand. In the cities, there's enough to see/eat/do during the day, and plenty of nightlife options for most tastes. Nature/outdoors stuff is fairly party-size neutral.

I am strongly against cruises, tours, guidebooks, and package deals. Cruises and tours are enforced socialisation, often with "single supplements". What if you're having a slow day? Jetlagged? Traveller's sicknesses? What if you really can't f'ing stand Bob and Terry for N.J.? Guidebooks include information that is already free on the internet. Package deals are like a cheap Easter basket/Halloween candy mix-bag - flights/hotels/transfers I would never book suddenly bundled together!
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Old 07-26-2015, 07:02 AM
 
788 posts, read 1,070,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
I have a lot of vacation I still need to take this year. I'm a single guy (not by choice) in my mid-40's and an introvert, meaning I don't just meet people wherever I am and typically do not enjoy traveling alone. WHile I'm an introvert, I can and like to be outgoing in the right setting. I really prefer shared travel experiences. I want to see more of the world, but for me, this isn't fun to do alone. As an example, I went to Mexico 2 years ago by myself for a week and it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I just felt lonely, unable to really meet people, and out of place amongst mostly couples. After 3 days wanted to come back home.

I've considered "singles" cruises, but they don't appeal to me very much. I need suggestions here. Club Med is one I'm considering, and maybe that is the best idea. Anyone have any other ideas where a single guy can enjoy himself and not feel completely out of place amongst a bunch of couples? In an idea world, I'd be in a relationship or married, but that just isn't the case. Original, thoughtful suggestions welcome!

Thanks for posting this question! I'm mid-30s and am in the same boat. I did Mexico alone earlier this year and actually loved it, but I was definitely very conspicuous as the lone traveler. So many people commented on me being alone as if it was the most awful thing, but I actually enjoyed most of my trip. I did have moments of loneliness, but I mostly enjoyed all the quiet time to myself and not having to adjust my schedule to someone else's. If I wanted to eat, I ate. If I wanted to get up early, I got up early. If I wanted to go to the gym, I went to the gym. However, I did cancel my solo reservation at a dinner partially because I felt I'd stand out even more there as a loner. But I've been searching for solo tour groups the past few days.
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Old 07-26-2015, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Columbia, MD
1,429 posts, read 1,988,338 times
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I never realized how much I enjoyed solo travel, until I went with someone else and could never really go and come at my own leisure.

Quote:
However, I did cancel my solo reservation at a dinner partially because I felt I'd stand out even more there as a loner.
This I can understand, but atleast you can always find a nice bar or lounge where you won't feel so out of place. However, I do think women carry the "alone" stigma a little worst than guys. Hey atleast you are not alone in terms of being solo. I'd rather get out and enjoy life, than sit inside the house all day and browse City-Data. (granted I do love this site).
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Old 07-26-2015, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,432 posts, read 4,294,840 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katykat01 View Post
Thanks for posting this question! I'm mid-30s and am in the same boat. I did Mexico alone earlier this year and actually loved it, but I was definitely very conspicuous as the lone traveler. So many people commented on me being alone as if it was the most awful thing, but I actually enjoyed most of my trip. I did have moments of loneliness, but I mostly enjoyed all the quiet time to myself and not having to adjust my schedule to someone else's. If I wanted to eat, I ate. If I wanted to get up early, I got up early. If I wanted to go to the gym, I went to the gym. However, I did cancel my solo reservation at a dinner partially because I felt I'd stand out even more there as a loner. But I've been searching for solo tour groups the past few days.
I did Mexico 2 years ago, and it was kind of a disaster. I started out at a "party" resort, and decided it wasn't for me. Switched resorts midway through the week and ended up at a couples place. Second guessed my decision and didn't enjoy the rest of my trip at all. It was just sad. The worst was eating alone at night. A year after that I was in a relationship and planning to go to San Diego together, but I broke up with her 2 months before the trip (thank God), and so vacation was ruined in 2014. This year, was supposed to go on a trip somewhere with a buddy, but he's now in a relationship and doesn't want to go. I just decided I can't depend on other people to travel and just have to do it alone for now.

So now I'm thinking either Spain or Ireland. Ireland might be a bit cold and rainy though if I go in a couple of months, so Spain seems to be the choice. Now the question is, do I do a group tour so I have a little bit of structure and am forced to do things (I'm not as adventurous when alone) or do I just go with the flow and have a loose structure, but a few things planned. I'd like to find some cool restaurants that aren't too touristy and cool bars where people are friendly, and of course see the historical sights and museums, drink the wine, etc. I probably need a crash course in Spanish. Alternatively, I could go to Cuba or Puerto Rico. I like the culture since I grew up in South Florida and all my friends and female crushes were Cuban.
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Old 07-26-2015, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,432 posts, read 4,294,840 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ticking View Post
I'm also in mid 40's and went to Barcelona Spain last year with a buddy. He got terribly sick and had to stay in the room for the first few days, so I was essentially traveling solo. I speak passable Spanish, but really never met anybody. Now mind you, I didn't really care, but I wouldn't have minded meeting a lady, but I'm not sure exactly how I would have met anyone. I went out at night, took the subway all over and explored, but it would have required me to jump into other people's conversations, which I didn't choose to do. I don't know the OP obviously, but I just don't see most single man in their mid 40's going out solo and meeting a bunch of new people unless he REALLY makes a big effort to do so. Given what the OP has expressed, I think he would be better off trying to get set up with women on a few dates while he is traveling to cities. It would probably make the experience more fun for him.

I may be misreading the situation, but that is my two cents based on my reading thus far.
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't jump into a conversation, especially one in Spanish. Thats ok, I primarily just want to see the sights, eat the food, and drink the wine.
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Old 07-26-2015, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,432 posts, read 4,294,840 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MckinneyOwnr View Post
Well, if you don't like traveling alone then you need to figure out where to find Ms. Right first. In OK, that probably isn't the easiest thing to do.

Most people meet their spouse from college or from their circle of friends. If that isn't the case, then people meet through work. If neither of those options works for you, then you'll have to get creative.

I have a friend who is always dating, and he's successful at meeting people because he signs up to do things that he likes or wants to learn how to do. For example, he decided to sign up for gourmet cooking classes a few years back because he wanted to know how to make a few signature dishes and he was tired of his options being pizza or spending money going out. Met a good looking Italian girl who was also taking the class, they dated for over a year. He signs up for coed sports stuff through work, met another girl that way. He took scuba lessons, it just so happened there were 3 single girls who were also in that class who were planning a girls trip to Mexico and wanted to learn before they got there so they could dive. Yup, dated one of them too.

Basically, he wants to meet women... but he's not stressing about it. He's having fun and doing things he wants to do, and it just happens. Trying to force yourself to meet someone just doesn't work IMO. You're not going to come off as genuine to anyone you meet that way either.

Good luck.
Yep, you're right, and I hate Oklahoma. Trying to move, but that will take time. In the meantime I've got to figure something out. This is a little off topic, but I have tried doing social groups. Just not many options here. It requires a lot of creativity and luck. Everyone at work is married and all their friends are married. Its kind of a nightmare.

Anyway, not going to wait for Ms. Right and just accept that I may not have as good of a time alone, but will regret it if I stay home and do nothing when I have the means and desire to travel.
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Old 07-26-2015, 08:59 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,432 posts, read 4,294,840 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Schroeder View Post
If you want to meet a woman. one thing is to just join a dating site (like OK Cupid) and change your location to the place you are visiting. Put a line at the bottom that you are on vacation and want to go on a date. At 45, there are many women who are in your same boat, and just want company for a night or two. Some places are much better than others. For instance, New York City is probably the easiest place to meet a woman for a casual date right now. London is pretty good, Los Angeles not bad.
Been there, done that. I had much more interest in NY than I do here in OK, but ultimately they wouldn't meet me because I didn't live there.
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Old 07-26-2015, 09:04 AM
 
2,493 posts, read 2,194,850 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foadi View Post
i just think an introverted 45 year old would feel out of place at a hostel.

Says the fat, bald guy that pays for sex.
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Old 07-26-2015, 09:12 AM
 
2,493 posts, read 2,194,850 times
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Since you hate where you are living, spend your vacation visiting other cities you could move to.
No need to stay in a city/state that you hate.
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