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Old 07-10-2016, 12:27 PM
 
Location: God's Gift to Mankind for flying anything
5,921 posts, read 13,848,998 times
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I guess it all depends on the situation of each case.

We, lived umpteen years in *foreign* countries, but I always sent the whole family every two years for a month *home*.
When it was finally time to settle down, it was not that hard, except for the fact that the kids always visited *home* in California, but we decided to settle in another State.

That was a challenge and a half. !
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Old 07-10-2016, 06:52 PM
 
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Facebook is used in Japan, but the most popular social network over there is LINE. But it's not really used in the US, right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dd714 View Post
I was never an expat but I know enough expat and work with enough to know that the expat communities in foreign countries operate almost like a "little America" with American TV, American movies, American media, and a revolving door of people coming from and returning to the States.
I've stayed in Japan twice. The first time was similar to what you said. The past 7 years were a lot more remote. Those were the years when I really felt like I couldn't "fill in the blanks" when I read US news, or encountered an American who behaved strange to me. And like I said, following US news is not a substitute for living among Americans.

There were a number of reasons why I decided to go back to the US, leaving behind my friends and what I'm familiar with. But one reason was becoming almost paranoid when I met Americans, and they almost always acted like complete... jerks. In my early years overseas, I could guess what their background was and why they acted a certain way, but that stopped working recently.

My understanding is racial tensions are worse even compared to the tense 90s, women's rights issues are probably more contentious than in recent years, the Millennial generation (even though I'm either the oldest of Millennials or the youngest of Gen X) isn't very social. Do I need a more sophisticated understanding of how Americans act today, particularly if I want to stay employed in the US?

Other stuff like banking and insurance will come to me over time, but I guess worrying about causing a sht storm socially, especially since I "look" like I've lived in the US all my life, bothers me the most.
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Old 07-11-2016, 07:11 AM
 
14,993 posts, read 23,877,846 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nc17 View Post
Facebook is used in Japan, but the most popular social network over there is LINE. But it's not really used in the US, right?

I've stayed in Japan twice. The first time was similar to what you said. The past 7 years were a lot more remote. Those were the years when I really felt like I couldn't "fill in the blanks" when I read US news, or encountered an American who behaved strange to me. And like I said, following US news is not a substitute for living among Americans.

There were a number of reasons why I decided to go back to the US, leaving behind my friends and what I'm familiar with. But one reason was becoming almost paranoid when I met Americans, and they almost always acted like complete... jerks. In my early years overseas, I could guess what their background was and why they acted a certain way, but that stopped working recently.

My understanding is racial tensions are worse even compared to the tense 90s, women's rights issues are probably more contentious than in recent years, the Millennial generation (even though I'm either the oldest of Millennials or the youngest of Gen X) isn't very social. Do I need a more sophisticated understanding of how Americans act today, particularly if I want to stay employed in the US?

Other stuff like banking and insurance will come to me over time, but I guess worrying about causing a sht storm socially, especially since I "look" like I've lived in the US all my life, bothers me the most.
Once again I think you are overthinking things...all the news about politics and race makes good internet fodder and water-cooler talk but it doesn't really matter on the average US street, standing in line at the grocery store, filling up for gas, meeting your neighbor, going out to a pub...when you meet people one on one all the general rules still apply that applied years ago. And of course, the US is no stranger to immigrants, particularly in big cities, so you won't be alone in being new to the US, and actually ahead of the game.

Yeah you will see every kid with a smart phone always looking down seemingly permanently affixed but you see that in Japan as well (probably more).
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Old 07-11-2016, 09:22 AM
 
Location: Seattle
1,882 posts, read 2,078,525 times
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I lived in the UK for a long time before returning to the US, and I really didn't find that re-entry was all that difficult. In fact, I found myself luxuriating in the space, the ease of getting things done, the informality and openness of the people, the incredible diversity. Of course YMMV.
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Old 07-11-2016, 11:29 AM
 
1,672 posts, read 1,249,381 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dd714 View Post
Yeah you will see every kid with a smart phone always looking down seemingly permanently affixed but you see that in Japan as well (probably more).
Smartphones are just as popular, but the phone etiquette isn't as nearly as rude in my experience, as you can probably imagine.

Even though I visited Tokyo, in the last few years I lived north of the cities, just south of Hokkaido.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardyloo View Post
I lived in the UK for a long time before returning to the US, and I really didn't find that re-entry was all that difficult. In fact, I found myself luxuriating in the space, the ease of getting things done, the informality and openness of the people, the incredible diversity. Of course YMMV.
I was in the UK 2004-2008. I was away from the US and was losing touch with the goings on in the US (mostly because of the time zone). But it was clearly a Western culture, that spoke English, so it wasn't really disorienting. It was 2008-2015 that threw me off.

Is there a more appropriate discussion board on this site for the question I asked?

Last edited by nc17; 07-11-2016 at 12:28 PM..
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Old 07-11-2016, 12:45 PM
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11,395 posts, read 13,409,287 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dd714 View Post
Once again I think you are overthinking things...all the news about politics and race makes good internet fodder and water-cooler talk but it doesn't really matter on the average US street, standing in line at the grocery store, filling up for gas, meeting your neighbor, going out to a pub...when you meet people one on one all the general rules still apply that applied years ago. And of course, the US is no stranger to immigrants, particularly in big cities, so you won't be alone in being new to the US, and actually ahead of the game.

Yeah you will see every kid with a smart phone always looking down seemingly permanently affixed but you see that in Japan as well (probably more).
This.
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Old 07-11-2016, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Sunshine state
2,540 posts, read 3,732,276 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayesian View Post
Moving to a foreign country at 5, 15, and 30 are totally different. At 30, the chances are you won't even learn the language. At 5, you are literally a Japanese inside. At 15, that's the tricky part, he could be half assimilated into Japanese culture.
I may have misunderstood, but he didn't say he moved out of the US at 15, he said he's been out of the country for 15 years but didn't mention his age then or now.

I am kinda confused as to what about the change that threw the OP off, especially since he's been living in developed countries, just like US. He mentioned Dallas shooting, so his concern was probably more to do with people's (or race) relations with each other. If that's the case, he needs to step away from the main stream media immediately. They will have you believed that the world is falling down on you any minute if you let them.
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Old 07-11-2016, 01:23 PM
 
733 posts, read 602,784 times
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N
Quote:
Originally Posted by graceC View Post
I may have misunderstood, but he didn't say he moved out of the US at 15, he said he's been out of the country for 15 years but didn't mention his age then or now.

I am kinda confused as to what about the change that threw the OP off, especially since he's been living in developed countries, just like US. He mentioned Dallas shooting, so his concern was probably more to do with people's (or race) relations with each other. If that's the case, he needs to step away from the main stream media immediately. They will have you believed that the world is falling down on you any minute if you let them.
I may have misunderstood too, I didn't say he moved out of the US at 15. I used these numbers to illustrate my point, just arbitrary numbers.
He implied that he left the US in 1999 and it's 2016, so he's out of the US for 17 years? Not 15? I don't know.

Being developed doesn't mean the culture is the same. There's no ghetto like Newark in Japan. Safety is the last thing to worry about in Japan. Britain is also culturally different from the U.S, for example, just like other Europeans they are not really religious.

However, I totally agree that OP is over thinking. Focusing on highly polarized events makes people stressful and aggressive. I have interacted with people from all over the world, I'd like to have some small talk first. People are not fundamentally different. Most of us are concerned with our everyday life more than anything else.
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Old 07-11-2016, 02:21 PM
 
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I left in 2000 at age 20, returned at the end of 2015 at 35. I spent the past year making plans about what to do next (and those plans will finally get off the ground in a few weeks).
Quote:
Originally Posted by graceC View Post
I am kinda confused as to what about the change that threw the OP off, especially since he's been living in developed countries, just like US. He mentioned Dallas shooting, so his concern was probably more to do with people's (or race) relations with each other. If that's the case, he needs to step away from the main stream media immediately. They will have you believed that the world is falling down on you any minute if you let them.
Why is the "developed country" distinction so important?

In the past 7 years (in particular, but it's more like a culmination of all the years overseas), I felt like I stopped acting like a bumbling tourist who needed help and directions every 5 minutes, and the consequence is somewhat forgetting or losing touch with American habits and lifestyles.

Being out of the US, and not following the everyday behavior of Americans and developments in the country, is disorienting. When I meet someone and they act polite, there's no problem. But I'm thinking of examples of when I met Americans in Japan, and Americans since I've returned to the country. They haven't acted polite, and I'm not sure how to rationalize it as well as I used to 10 or so years ago. 10 years ago, I could guess that a rude American is stuck-up, or shy, arrogant etc. Some behavior I've seen lately, I don't get it or how to rationalize it.

Also, I don't understand some of the politics that I guess has become more prominent in recent years, which could be a problem when I meet someone who is opinionated... depending on how many out there are opinionated. My idea of racial and I guess gender politics, seems different than the politics that people are protesting against, to the point of resorting to violence. If there's people out there who are that passionate about certain issues, is that an issue worth paying aattention to, in the interest of my own well-being and happiness?

In Japan, I could walk on a dark street at 2am to the store, but I know it isn't very wise do that in the US. That's an example of cultural awareness for my safety and well-being.

And I have tried to limit exposure to the media (I only read news in text/print, instead of watching TV news). Maybe I'm over-thinking things, but that's a symptom of being out of a particular society for so long.
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Old 07-12-2016, 05:31 AM
 
733 posts, read 602,784 times
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Are you black? If not, I'm afraid your life doesn't matter anymore.

Far-left extremist groups have done enormous damage to the U.S and the rest of the world. Unsurprisingly, they are backed by liberals like Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Maybe you should put off your decision till November.
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