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Old 10-26-2016, 05:53 AM
 
3,416 posts, read 3,229,583 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Yes, it works for some couples but people should not assume that it works for all couples.

Every family is different.

My mother was bedridden the last years of her life and I spent many weeks & months each year caring for her. BTW, both of our children chose "helping professions" and both of them said that the major reason was because they saw the importance of loving, caring families and observed the caregiving provided by me & my husband.

I am sure that my mother would have loved to babysit her grandchildren, so her children could go on "couple's vacations" if she would not have died when they were only 4 & 8. My husband's parents lived 1,000 miles away and were in ill health, as well. Even at that distance, some of our later family vacations were actually to assist in their caregiving.

Now, everyone is probably going to say that I should just put my disabled husband in a nursing home (instead of being his 24/7 caregiver) so that I can travel 2,000 miles so that my adult son can enjoy "couple's vacations" with his spouse because it is "essential to his marriage". Sheesh!

My point was, and still is, it does not work for every family to have "couple's only vacations" and you can still have a happy, long, and love filled marriage.
No I would say the opposite. He needs to travel 2000 miles so that he can take care of his dad so that you can get a much needed break. Breaks are good to recharge and regroup. I'm sure your son gets breaks with his wife...don't his IL's live close to them?
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Old 10-26-2016, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
5,104 posts, read 5,406,847 times
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I also vote couple's trip.

Disney during Spring Break is going to be packed, lines will be long. My parents took me to Disney when I was 11, and at 39 I can barely remember that vacation.

I know many couples who take week long vacations without their children. Taking one adult vacation per year doesn't mean they don't love their children. That's really a silly thing to say.
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Old 10-26-2016, 07:09 AM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,534,421 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
This is uncalled for.....I love my children and enjoy spending time with them and without them. There isn't anything wrong with wanting time away with one's spouse. My husband and I took a 5 day cruise for our 10 year anniversary and our 15 is coming up next year. We are going to do another vacation just the two of us. My MIL told us to go and she would watch the kids.

I know plenty of people that take vacations without their children. In fact, one of the teachers at my kids school is going away for their 15 year anniversary in Dec. Her parents are going to watch her kids while her and her husband are away.
Your examples are for 10 year and 15 year anniversaries. AND the length you mentioned were under a week. Germaine, referencing the OP, specifically said "in 8 years" and she specifically said "week long"

Personally, I agree with both of you. Couples spending time together and taking special trips together is a wonderful thing. Couples taking multiple, week long + vacations without their kids hints at selfishness or disliking to be with their kids.

We love being together just the 2 of us, and we love family trips with the kids. My husband and I try to take a trip together every year, but not since our honeymoon, also nearly 15 years ago, have we been away together for a full week. It's compromising to find the best plan for this period of our life.

I guess our own experiences color our opinions on this subject. I know a family with 4 kids that is constantly unloading their kids on other families while they take trips and go on cruises, or Mom has a "girls' weekend" the same time as Dad has his "big golf trip" And the host families are juggling the kids' schedules and passing them off to another family because these kids have super-busy schedules! I can't fathom living that way. But I guess it's working for them.

Btw, OP, why not just plan a big, week-long 10 year anniversary trip for you and your husband?
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Old 10-26-2016, 07:24 AM
 
731 posts, read 485,832 times
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Go to Disney. Kids are only with you for a very short time. This is the age where they dream of pirates and being hero's. Let him have it. You have the rest of your lives to do a couples vacation. Believe me when I say that those years with the kids is incredibly short. ...Don't blink because it will have passed you by.
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Old 10-26-2016, 07:34 AM
 
16,720 posts, read 14,723,824 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
No I would say the opposite. He needs to travel 2000 miles so that he can take care of his dad so that you can get a much needed break. Breaks are good to recharge and regroup. I'm sure your son gets breaks with his wife...don't his IL's live close to them?
Exactly. God forbid the son take time out of his life. But that's what happens when the kids are put first all of their lives. They don't get it that at some point they should give back. It's a damn shame in this case.
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Old 10-26-2016, 07:51 AM
 
245 posts, read 145,490 times
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My husband and I will go to disney world and then spend 3 days in PR since it cost less than half of the trip to Jamaica. We won't stay at disney world resorts to save money ( a off site hotel) and we can do both.
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Old 10-26-2016, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
7,330 posts, read 4,174,565 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicky91 View Post
My husband and I will go to disney world and then spend 3 days in PR since it cost less than half of the trip to Jamaica. We won't stay at disney world resorts to save money ( a off site hotel) and we can do both.
That sounds like an excellent compromise, OP. Enjoy your vacation!
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Old 10-26-2016, 08:22 AM
 
3,416 posts, read 3,229,583 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
Your examples are for 10 year and 15 year anniversaries. AND the length you mentioned were under a week. Germaine, referencing the OP, specifically said "in 8 years" and she specifically said "week long"

Personally, I agree with both of you. Couples spending time together and taking special trips together is a wonderful thing. Couples taking multiple, week long + vacations without their kids hints at selfishness or disliking to be with their kids.

We love being together just the 2 of us, and we love family trips with the kids. My husband and I try to take a trip together every year, but not since our honeymoon, also nearly 15 years ago, have we been away together for a full week. It's compromising to find the best plan for this period of our life.

I guess our own experiences color our opinions on this subject. I know a family with 4 kids that is constantly unloading their kids on other families while they take trips and go on cruises, or Mom has a "girls' weekend" the same time as Dad has his "big golf trip" And the host families are juggling the kids' schedules and passing them off to another family because these kids have super-busy schedules! I can't fathom living that way. But I guess it's working for them.

Btw, OP, why not just plan a big, week-long 10 year anniversary trip for you and your husband?
The trip next year will be for a week. We will also do it while the kids are in school. Our own experiences certainly color our opinions. It's obvious that Germaine and I have different experiences but I don't think she loves her kids anymore than I do because she never took a week long trip without them.

I don't think kids should always come before their parents.


OP - Have a great time at Disney.
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Old 10-26-2016, 08:54 AM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,534,421 times
Reputation: 6117
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb View Post
The trip next year will be for a week. We will also do it while the kids are in school. Our own experiences certainly color our opinions. It's obvious that Germaine and I have different experiences but I don't think she loves her kids anymore than I do because she never took a week long trip without them.
Right, but again, you're saying 1 week in fifteen years. Not annually at the expense of family vacations.

I just wanted to point out that you were getting defensive about something you thought that poster was saying, rather than what she actually said.
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Old 10-26-2016, 08:55 AM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,534,421 times
Reputation: 6117
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicky91 View Post
My husband and I will go to disney world and then spend 3 days in PR since it cost less than half of the trip to Jamaica. We won't stay at disney world resorts to save money ( a off site hotel) and we can do both.
Sounds like a great compromise! Assuming you want to go to Disney and PR.
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