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Old 05-01-2019, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Brew City
4,249 posts, read 2,522,601 times
Reputation: 5761

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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRlaura View Post
Sounds absolutely horrible, not that you asked.......
My initial reaction as well. As evidenced by how far apart we are on travel expectations.
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Old 05-01-2019, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Brew City
4,249 posts, read 2,522,601 times
Reputation: 5761
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
International should be out of the picture entirely. The family with budgetary concerns doesn't even have passports. That's $110 per adult, $80 per kid. Plus photos. That's a chunk of change before they walk out the door for documents they will probably never use again.



And they've never flown before? I think it's rather insensitive to think that people that have NEVER flown before will be mentally comfortable with an overseas and/or 8+ hour flight.

And I agree that MIL or somebody needs to foot the bill for the family with budget issues. It may well be that their limited budget is stretched just to cover housing, food and transportation. If that's even close to accurate, your MIL is pretty darn selfish by expecting them to join up for a family vacation. It's probably impossible for them to even financially consider it.

So everyone here thinks it's fair or normal for mom to pay for one kid's family to vacation but not the other? Plus cater all the vacation planning to his family? We're trying to find a middle ground.
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Old 05-01-2019, 10:35 AM
 
Location: St Louis MO area
69 posts, read 24,140 times
Reputation: 549
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
International should be out of the picture entirely. The family with budgetary concerns doesn't even have passports. That's $110 per adult, $80 per kid. Plus photos. That's a chunk of change before they walk out the door for documents they will probably never use again.



And they've never flown before? I think it's rather insensitive to think that people that have NEVER flown before will be mentally comfortable with an overseas and/or 8+ hour flight.

And I agree that MIL or somebody needs to foot the bill for the family with budget issues. It may well be that their limited budget is stretched just to cover housing, food and transportation. If that's even close to accurate, your MIL is pretty darn selfish by expecting them to join up for a family vacation. It's probably impossible for them to even financially consider it.


All of this, plus how much vacation time does each adult have, and can everyone schedule it the same time period, and do they want to spend possibly the ONLY vacation time they have available.... with extended family at a destination they didn't choose?

With school-age kids, you almost have to do this in the summer - not the fall. If anyone in my family suggested a trip like this I would laugh until they hauled me off to the funny farm. Unless your extended family has taken trips like this recently, I can't imagine it will go well. If Family 1 can't really afford a trip, and Family 2 has already been "everywhere", and Family 3 can only get approved vacation time the third week of August, and Family 4 agrees to go but the kid breaks his leg a week before the trip (and Families 1, 2 and 3 still expects them to pay their share of the vacation house even though the doctor will NOT allow the kid to fly).... Well, I just don't see how everyone will be happy by the end of the vacation.
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Old 05-01-2019, 10:38 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,638 posts, read 40,010,157 times
Reputation: 23801
Buy a used 'beater' motorhome. (or Skoolie)

Write a book (or movie) about your 'adventure'.
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Old 05-01-2019, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Brew City
4,249 posts, read 2,522,601 times
Reputation: 5761
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
Buy a used 'beater' motorhome. (or Skoolie)

Write a book (or movie) about your 'adventure'.
Ok, Mr. Kerouac.
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Old 05-01-2019, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,255 posts, read 8,323,304 times
Reputation: 20119
It's a shame your family has already turned up their noses at a cruise.

We did an extended family vacation several years ago and it literally had something for everyone.

Also, cruises can be very reasonable.

Our ages for 2 years to 82 years old and there were 30 of us.

Plus we didn't have to worry about cooking, or picking out restaurants.
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Old 05-01-2019, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Australia
914 posts, read 335,544 times
Reputation: 1671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
So everyone here thinks it's fair or normal for mom to pay for one kid's family to vacation but not the other? Plus cater all the vacation planning to his family? We're trying to find a middle ground.
How long are you looking at? That would seem to be an awfully tight budget.

It is quite common here for families to do something like that but the parent is generally expected to pay. When DH was having a significant birthday the kids were digging whether we would be taking them to Thailand or to Fiji, as some of friends shouted theirs. With young kids though the interests can be totally different. DH does not like swimming, which is the big interest for little kids. He plays golf which does not interest the rest of the family. In the end, we decided not to do anything. Too much money for too many people to be bored.

I suppose Hawaii is too far, too expensive for you? Would be easy culturally. And is such a beautiful place.
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Old 05-01-2019, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,092 posts, read 19,041,938 times
Reputation: 24212
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
So everyone here thinks it's fair or normal for mom to pay for one kid's family to vacation but not the other? Plus cater all the vacation planning to his family? We're trying to find a middle ground.

I should have been more clear. No, I think MIL should pay for everybody. BUT those that can afford to take this trip could quietly tell her that you'll pay for it yourself.
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Old 05-01-2019, 04:37 PM
 
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
7,324 posts, read 4,172,231 times
Reputation: 18382
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
So everyone here thinks it's fair or normal for mom to pay for one kid's family to vacation but not the other? Plus cater all the vacation planning to his family? We're trying to find a middle ground.
Trying to find a middle ground is great, but if push comes to shove and a middle ground cannot be found, what is the priority? Getting the entire family together to celebrate MIL's 60th birthday, or going off on an exotic (and potentially expensive) vacation to a place your family and your in-laws have never seen before?

Knowing the answer to that question may hep with the planning. The sad reality is that even a cheap international vacation can be expensive compared to a domestic trip, as driving to get there is not an option (Canada and Mexico excepted). If the priority is getting everyone together, a domestic destination that BIL's family can drive to may be the only affordable option.
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Old 05-01-2019, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,092 posts, read 19,041,938 times
Reputation: 24212
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
It's a shame your family has already turned up their noses at a cruise.

We did an extended family vacation several years ago and it literally had something for everyone.

Also, cruises can be very reasonable.

Our ages for 2 years to 82 years old and there were 30 of us.

Plus we didn't have to worry about cooking, or picking out restaurants.
I agree. No passports required. One inside cabin for mom, dad and two kids. Five days. That would be pretty affordable - until you add in the cost of airplane tickets to get to the port.

But it was the OP and her husband who refuse to consider a cruise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
Hubby and I and our kids are up for anything anywhere. Except the only suggestions offered of a cruise and Disney. Two things we want absolutely nothing to do with.
(PS I agree with you about Disney - and it's too expensive.)

What YOU don't seem to get is that Five thousand bucks is a lot of money to A LOT of people. I can't believe that the family who has no budget is gonna put that kind of money together. And it would be far better spent on their 401k or an emergency fund to cover the next appliance that breaks down.
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