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Old 08-20-2008, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,862 posts, read 6,877,913 times
Reputation: 7348

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Quote:
Originally Posted by atlantagreg30127 View Post
Oh, I finally have to chime in, in my unique way...

1) Overweight people: They should have a chart that basically says, "If you are this tall and/or this wide, you must pay extra" in the airports, with the chart being adapted to the fact that as Americans, we typically are taller and fatter than many other people in the world. Each plane should have a certain number of extra wide seats in coach that would cost more and also handle the larger passengers.

2) Crying children: Children should be allowed to cry for a maximum of 10 minutes straight. Upon reaching that limit they are given one warning and a $50 fine is charged to the parent's credit card. If the children exceed 45 minutes of misbehavior, they will spend the rest of the flight on medication, in a special area set up in the cargo hold, which will be soundproofed and have a heater. Children who throw physical fits or assault passengers (pulling hair, leaning over seats to drool, etc), will be placed in restraints in the cargo hold, outside of the heated area so the temperature will slow down their metabolism and calm them down.

3) People who smell: People who have offensive body odors will not be allowed on the plane - period. Each airport should have a shower/clothes waching facility and those people will be directed to use those facilities before they are allowed on the plane.

4) Teens playing Rap/Hip Hop on iPods: The iPods will be ejected through the toilet. Parents fined $5,000 for allowing their teens to listen to Rap and Hip Hop.

5) Old people who won't shut up: Elderly fliers who begin to tell life stories to passengers next to them will spend the flight in the cargo area with the children and receive a $25 credit for being a story teller for the medicated kids to keep them busy during the flight.


I'm sure I'm missing someone, but that about covers the most common basic groups. Handle it my way, and there would be lots of happy fliers.
I love this post, but you forgot drunk people. Drunk people with boozy breath and leering eyes should be fined $2,000.00 (or the cost of a round of drinks for all the other passengers) then seated next to the parents of the medicated children whose seats became vacant when they were placed in the cargo hold. Those parents should be denied drinks!
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Old 08-20-2008, 10:02 PM
 
Location: West Cobb County, GA (Atlanta metro)
9,188 posts, read 30,244,966 times
Reputation: 5131
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
I love this post, but you forgot drunk people. Drunk people with boozy breath and leering eyes should be fined $2,000.00 (or the cost of a round of drinks for all the other passengers) then seated next to the parents of the medicated children whose seats became vacant when they were placed in the cargo hold. Those parents should be denied drinks!
Oh heck, I don't know how I forgot about the drunks!?!

No no - you're making it too complicated. Drunks go into the toilet and then get dropped out. They'll be a frozen cube of blue toilet water and vodka by the time they go through someone's garage roof, but at least you won't have to sit next to them.
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Old 08-21-2008, 11:55 AM
 
455 posts, read 1,359,071 times
Reputation: 402
Quote:
Originally Posted by atlantagreg30127 View Post
Oh, I finally have to chime in, in my unique way...

1) Overweight people: They should have a chart that basically says, "If you are this tall and/or this wide, you must pay extra" in the airports, with the chart being adapted to the fact that as Americans, we typically are taller and fatter than many other people in the world. Each plane should have a certain number of extra wide seats in coach that would cost more and also handle the larger passengers.

2) Crying children: Children should be allowed to cry for a maximum of 10 minutes straight. Upon reaching that limit they are given one warning and a $50 fine is charged to the parent's credit card. If the children exceed 45 minutes of misbehavior, they will spend the rest of the flight on medication, in a special area set up in the cargo hold, which will be soundproofed and have a heater. Children who throw physical fits or assault passengers (pulling hair, leaning over seats to drool, etc), will be placed in restraints in the cargo hold, outside of the heated area so the temperature will slow down their metabolism and calm them down.

3) People who smell: People who have offensive body odors will not be allowed on the plane - period. Each airport should have a shower/clothes waching facility and those people will be directed to use those facilities before they are allowed on the plane.

4) Teens playing Rap/Hip Hop on iPods: The iPods will be ejected through the toilet. Parents fined $5,000 for allowing their teens to listen to Rap and Hip Hop.

5) Old people who won't shut up: Elderly fliers who begin to tell life stories to passengers next to them will spend the flight in the cargo area with the children and receive a $25 credit for being a story teller for the medicated kids to keep them busy during the flight.


I'm sure I'm missing someone, but that about covers the most common basic groups. Handle it my way, and there would be lots of happy fliers.
I 100% agree with this post for items 1-3 (for 4 and 5, get some headphones).

As an addendum to item 1. Your ticket cost is fixed up to a certain combined personal + luggage weight limit (say 250lbs is the limit, if you weigh 150lbs, you can bring 100lbs of luggage; if you weight 245lbs you can bring 5lbs of luggage without a weight surcharge). Additionally, you have to sit in a 'test chair' before boarding. Surrounding the chair are sensors which determine if you will fit in a single seat (ie - any part of you passing over the edges fails the test) at which point you have to pay for a seat in the bariatric section of the plane.

For item 2, instead of using the cargo area, have a set of 'kid tubes'. Same concept as the Japanese capsule hotels. Soundproof them and let kids scream and tantrum to their hearts delight. It'll be good for them, teach them to self soothe, the instant they start misbehaving, send them into a tube. They'll learn to behave quickly, basic animal conditioning.

As an addendum to item 3. Prior to boarding, every passenger has to go through a 'smell box', same concept as a metal detector. If your odor exceeds a certain limit, you are given the chance to shower. If you still can't pass the 'smell box', you are assigned to a 'stink compartment' in the aircraft (surcharge), sealed from the other non-aromatic passengers, but shared with other 'stinkers' to give you more incentive to better hygiene.
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Old 08-21-2008, 01:19 PM
 
Location: West Cobb County, GA (Atlanta metro)
9,188 posts, read 30,244,966 times
Reputation: 5131
Quote:
Originally Posted by RowingMunkeyCU View Post
For item 2, instead of using the cargo area, have a set of 'kid tubes'. Same concept as the Japanese capsule hotels. Soundproof them and let kids scream and tantrum to their hearts delight.
Actually, you could fill the tube with that oxygen rich "liquid air". The kids won't drown - maybe gag a bit as they start to breath it in, but after a few minutes they'll be like little fish, and the sound won't carry through the liquid like it will the surrounding cabin in the open air. You could even mix a little Nyquil in with the liquid.

Oh, it was just a thought.
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Old 08-21-2008, 02:00 PM
 
6,745 posts, read 8,298,570 times
Reputation: 1846
Would rather sit by a quiet fat guy, or two screaming kids?
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Old 08-21-2008, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,239 posts, read 15,454,358 times
Reputation: 8110
There is always a chance that the screaming kids will settle down and be quiet. Therefore, I would pick them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ozzie679 View Post
Would rather sit by a quiet fat guy, or two screaming kids?
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Fayetteville, NC
14 posts, read 45,468 times
Reputation: 23
I'm a big girl myself (yup yup) and for the passed year I've flown on 9 different planes all going from California to North Carolina and back again. I've always flown with family, but it looks like I might be traveling alone coming up pretty soon and I am nervous. I'm a nervous person by nature and I've always had to medicate myself before a flight because take-offs are scary and turbulance----dont even make me think about it!

I don't want to inconvienience anyone (honest!) by being so big, but I need to get back home to California. Now since we may never see each other again I think spending 4 hours next to each other (or me on top of you lol) is tolerable and if its not I highly suggest buying your own plane and flying solo so no one bugs ya!

Besides being fat I'm also tall (5 ft 9 inches) and it always happens that the person sitting in front of me has to recline their seat and its super uncomfortable. So not only am I on top of the person sitting next to me, who is always my family member and doesn't complain, I have to be burdened with the fool in front who wants to own "my" leg space on the plane.

Traveling whether by bus, train, plane, is always uncomfortable for EVERYONE. Oh and in case no one knows this sometimes you can pay for two seats and the flight gets overbooked and you're forced to give that seat up. Will the airlines refund your money? Nope. Will they apologize? Nope. So you can't always assume that the fat person "wants" to take your space. Sometimes YOU are invading theirs.

Anywho I rather sit next to one of my own (a FAT person) than sit next to Smelly McGee or Sir One-Too-Many-Cocktails. Thank you.
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Old 08-27-2008, 11:14 AM
 
9,029 posts, read 16,442,522 times
Reputation: 6817
I would rather seen an end to reclining seats - not sure why people are intent on using them, i usually ask the people insistant on putting them down to please not crush my legs and drive the tray into my chest ....... and it doesn't just affect those of us with height, the pitch on most planes is so small now that this notion should be a thing of the past

if they blow me off they are in for a very uncomfortable flight

i'm a taller guy, but I fit into the seats

it is obnoxious when you have someone spilling into your seat - i don't have much room as it is and I don't need your body overlapping and touching mine for a few hours ..... this happened on my last fight, rather large guy grabbed the middle seat, needed the armrest up on one side and on mine his arms and side came in to about 1/3 of the way to my middle

wasn't a bad guy, was clean, etc - but I pretty much couldn't move the entire flight

flying has just become so uncomfortable and a real pain ...... however, it's still the fastest way to go a good distance, so we'll all just continue to put up with it
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Old 08-27-2008, 07:57 PM
 
8,240 posts, read 15,254,296 times
Reputation: 3679
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finger Laker View Post
I would rather seen an end to reclining seats - not sure why people are intent on using them, i usually ask the people insistant on putting them down to please not crush my legs and drive the tray into my chest ....... and it doesn't just affect those of us with height, the pitch on most planes is so small now that this notion should be a thing of the past

if they blow me off they are in for a very uncomfortable flight

i'm a taller guy, but I fit into the seats

it is obnoxious when you have someone spilling into your seat - i don't have much room as it is and I don't need your body overlapping and touching mine for a few hours ..... this happened on my last fight, rather large guy grabbed the middle seat, needed the armrest up on one side and on mine his arms and side came in to about 1/3 of the way to my middle

wasn't a bad guy, was clean, etc - but I pretty much couldn't move the entire flight

flying has just become so uncomfortable and a real pain ...... however, it's still the fastest way to go a good distance, so we'll all just continue to put up with it
I agree. The chairs shouldn't recline at all. I try to keep in mind that the person reclining in front of me is probably being reclined 'upon' by the person in front of THEM! And so on...
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Old 08-28-2008, 07:44 PM
 
Location: mass
2,905 posts, read 6,578,878 times
Reputation: 4979
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martic916 View Post

Traveling whether by bus, train, plane, is always uncomfortable for EVERYONE. Oh and in case no one knows this sometimes you can pay for two seats and the flight gets overbooked and you're forced to give that seat up. Will the airlines refund your money? Nope. Will they apologize? Nope. So you can't always assume that the fat person "wants" to take your space. Sometimes YOU are invading theirs.

.
No it isn't. I have no problem traveling by bus train or plane. I am very comfortable. At least I would be if I was traveling without two of those kids mentioned in #3, well, they don't really cry, and someone can make up for another addendum for such a case, I am talking about my whiny, bratty kids. Yes I have flown with them. They are mine. Perhaps they should make seperate areas of the plane, putting those without children in one area, and those with children in another. Because trying to get a kid to shut up on a plane becuase you are stressed out that he is bothering the other passengers is nearly impossible. I'd rather they throw us all together in the back of the plane in a sound proof area and let the kids go about their business. Now THAT would ease my stress level.

I do not believe that if you buy two seats and the flight is overbooked you will be forced to give up the seat with no compensation. Sorry, simply DON'T BELIEVE IT. Can anyone confirm this? I am sure if it ever happened, the individual could easily fight AND WIN a dispute with their credit card company. You cannot pay for a service that is not provided and get no compensation......
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